http://www.cafepress.com/thickets

I have set up an online store for myself at http://www.cafepress.com/thickets 

There is nothing there yet. But there will be…there will be. I’ll be selling stuff with my art on it. Specifically I’m thinking “Where the Great Old Ones Are” mugs and mousepads. I know that cafepress has crappy shirts so I won’t be doing any of that. I want to do a design for a clock. That would be fun. I’m sure more ideas will come to me but until then, can you think of anything from my past repertoire, or an idea you have that you need drawn that you want to go 50/50 on?

Come on, now’s your big chance!

For the First Time in my Life I Own an Umbrella

I have never owned an umbrella. If I have to go out when it’s raining, I just get wet. Usually, it doesn’t matter. I’m not going anywhere so important that I have to be dry. However yesterday I went for an appointment at Radical Games and I wished I wasn’t soaked when I got there. So when I dropped by The Comicshop afterwards (to drop off tickets to the Con Fu gaming convention) and Ryan asked me how I was doing and I replied “wet,” he offered me an umbrella that someone left at the store. I took it. And I used it on my journey home.

I think that two things in the world should have no monetary value: bikes and umbrellas. I recall a story that in some city in Washington they had a program where there was a communal bike program. Bikes just lay all over town and if you came by one and you needed it, you hopped on. When you arrived at your destination, you left the bike nearby so somebody could use it. Umbrellas should be the same way – there should be no ownership. If you go out and halfway through the day it stops raining, leave your umbrella in that bucket at the closest store. Or they could have umbrella depots on every block, maybe right beside phone booths. I’d be willing to give up my free umbrella to the program – how about you?

I'm not a religious man, but…

…I think that the greatest evidence that there is a god is the fact that we haven’t discovered life in outer space yet. We haven’t discovered all of the species on Earth yet we’re quite content to destroy it at every turn. Thankfully life on other planets has been spared our medusa’s gaze (not for our lack of trying).

H.P. Podcast – Good Idea or Crap?

What would happen if I recorded readings – aka audio books – of H.P. Lovecraft stories and posted them as podcasts? Would you click on a DONATE BY PAYPAL link to support the damn things?

Coke Zero does in fact taste more like regular Coke than Diet Coke

This morning I drew some character portraits for Spaceship Zero the RPG. Just for fun.

I went for lunch at uh…Tom’s Cafe I think it’s called. I’ve been there once before. It’s a total dump there, which is kind of endearing, especially with the $3.95 lunch specials. It’s hard to find a non-saggy spot on the diner-style benches. On my previous visit I was the only patron. This time there was a lady who, in addition to ordering food there, had a big bag of carrots and other crunchy vegetables that she ate very loudly (with her mouth open). I actually had to get up and move to the other side of the restaurant, it was driving me so crazy. I got chicken and broccoli today, and there was some confusion when I asked for no rice or noodles, she said it would be a dollar extra. Eventually we sorted out that it’s because I’d be getting more chicken and broccoli instead of the rice. I was trying to sort out my Mandarin class notes but I just wasn’t in the mood. But that’s okay because the owners were watching some Cantonese version of Coronation Street that they have on VHS, so I absorbed some of that instead.

I am trying to think of something to write about for Geoff’s writing group tonight. It’s not working. I started something but it’s just not holding my interest. I don’t want to wait for inspiration because I know sometimes you have to make your own, but I just can’t get into what I started. I thought about resurrecting old short stories I began years ago, about doing a superhero tale, Ghostbusters fan fiction, and now I’m sifting through old blog entries for other ideas.

Furthermore I am sick of hearing The Pretenders.

Another Million Dollar Idea

Here’s another Million Dollar Idea courtesy of Toren. The “Manual Labour Network.” People spend gazoolions of dollars on gym memberships and home exercise machines. Meanwhile, not far away, hard work is waiting to be done on the streets and in the homes of the lazy and the poor. The MLN co-ordinates chores involving hours of physical labour with those who want to get in shape. After getting off work from pencil pushing, head down to Auntie Griswold’s cottage home to haul several loads of brick for her new walkway. Not only will you get a good workout, but you’ll have the satisfaction of helping someone, and maybe a fresh apple pie from Griswold’s family recipe. Or you can help Bob McSmooch move this weekend and maybe he’ll slip you a few bills for your trouble. Jenny Squiddler is a tiny jawa of a person who can barely lift a jar of marmalade, but she is heiress to the Squiddler Preserves fortune, and she needs her ceiling painted. Free jam and buckets of cash to those who want to work their arms a bit for an afternoon.

And now for a bit of fun, the Periodic Table Table

Meow!

I think they should have a crossover between Degrassi: The Next Generation and Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Furthermore, I wonder if America’s Funniest Home Videos has a catalogue of clips that were too EXTREEEEEEEEEME for TV. Like, tiny tots being “whoops-a-daisy’d” into ceiling fans and dogs having their ears bitten off by ostriches and whatnot. I’d like to see that episode. I like to see bulldozers tipping over as much as the next guy.

I’ve been swimming for the last couple of weeks. I’m getting better. I think. But it’s hard to tell. It’s been more enjoyable since I’ve been using Marlo’s goggles but I sill have to stop at the end of every length and empty them out of water. Also I don’t like that last 10 feet of the length where I can’t touch the bottom. Also also it’s hard to swim when there are other people in my lane. I’m always worried about crashing into them, or them crashing into me. Also there’s always one kid with a life jacket (I’m going during ADULT SWIM mind you!) or crazy old lady who will come into the lane and start doing hydrobics, making it more awkward. Usually the last half hour before the pool closes is the best because the people clear out and I can pretend that I’m in The Poseidon Adventure swimming to freedom thanks to the arbitrarily superior leadership of Gene Hackman.

I forgot to tape Babblebar Balabiba on Saturday. Which was stupid because I was home, for a change.

Hurry before somebody steals our idea

So…here’s a new concept band that Taylor and Stewie and I are trying to figure out how to do. The band comes onto the stage in dark street clothes. We put on some big rings onto our fingers which light up with a green LED, and we all chant “In brightest day, in darkest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power…Green Lantern’s light!” The stage is bathed in green light and at the same time, a black light is turned on which reveals the black-light sensitive patches on our clothes which transform our dark clothes into bright Green Lantern costumes. Our musical instruments are all created from our ring’s energy (they too are marked with black light sensitive tape). We’re all different GL’s. I could cut my hair to look like Guy Gardner. Taylor is Kilawog. We sing cover songs.

So, who wants to invest some capital into this winning stock?

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it. -Shaw

I am not patriotic. I think Canada is, comparatively, an excellent country in which to live and work. But I don’t feel I owe anything to a region of the planet that is marked by abstract boundaries from other such regions, that is governed by a bunch of rich white people who don’t care about me or millions of others like (or unlike) me, and that is founded on the blood of many people of all sorts of races and creeds, but particularly the aborigines.

Patriotism actually irks me. It seems such a backward, outdated idea. Why can’t we get past it? I’m sure different people have different reasons to feel patriotic, but quite often my sense is that it’s just a team spirit mentality – no different than being on a sports team whose motto is, essentially, “we’re better than you.” People around the world are pretty much the same. People of every skin colour, every religion, every nationality can be nice and can be jerks; can be humanitarians and can be rapists. I’ve known Asians and Native Americans and East Indians and they all laugh and say ‘good morning’ and jerk off and have their crabby days (presumably not all at the same time). Now if none of those groups of people are any better or worse than the rest of us, how silly is it to think that a group separated by an imaginary line on a map is any better or worse?

The other reason patriotism bugs me is its association with war. I don’t like war. I am against war. War is hell. And whenever war pops up, people start waving flags around. I guess my logic is a little flawed with this criticism of patriotism – it’s like being against hats because I don’t like the heads they’re on. Except hats keep people’s heads warm – patriotism has no practical purpose that I can see.

To be patriotic is to have pride. Now, I have pride in certain things – I’m proud of the book I wrote, of some paintings and drawings I’ve done. (I’m also critical of these things but that’s beside the point.) But to have pride in your association with a geographical location, or a body of people of whom you actually know only the most minute percentage? That doesn’t make much sense to me. But I have patriotic friends. You know who you are. You have your reasons, I’m sure, which I assume make sense to you and maybe someday they’ll make sense to me. I’m not expecting everyone to have the same beliefs as I. If you’ve got a good reason to be patriotic, besides “because Canada ROCKS!”, I’ll respect that. But for the time being I just wanted you to know that even though my birth certificate and driver’s license say I’m on the same team as you, I won’t be waving the “where I was born is important” flag. I am proud to associate with you for reasons that have nothing to do with nationality. And you’ll find I can be just as much a friend to Americans (and presumably others, should I get to know them).

What is that saying that I like to quote all the time? “There can be no world peace while patriotism exists.”

Did it all start with clock radios?

I don’t want to watch movies on my computer. I don’t want to play games on my phone. And I certainly don’t want one device that does everything, because when it breaks, or gets lost, or the batteries run down, then I can’t do ANYTHING.

(Inspired by Stewie’s comment about mini “Lost” episodes being produced to watch on your phone.)