Toren Atkinson

Guilty Pleasures and Secret Shames

I am now the furtive owner of Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits (2 CD set). I used to listen to this (on cassette of course) when I washed the dishes every night as a teenager living with my parents. Listening to it now, there are a number of tracks that I don’t want to hear. Thank Cthulhu for the CD Player program on my computer, that lets me edit the track order and remove tracks to suit my whims – then remembers my custom line up as the default every time I put the CD.

Favourites: Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song) and Don’t Ask Me Why.

It was Janine’s idea to go down to Zulu’s. Yes I had been there only two days before but it was an impulse. This was an opportunity to take down my stack of crap CDs for tradesies. And so I did. I got $83 in credit so I got the new Radiohead, the newest Flaming Lips (on the strength of the one song on the mix CD that Anghold made for me), Cake “Comfort Eagle” and The Strokes. But where’s Billy Joel? Well, with the smaller stack of CDs that they didn’t want, we walked down to Music Stop (right by Oscar’s and I Love Hats* on Broadway & Granville) and traded in the rest – that provided me with the Joel. My alternatives was some Filter album, Slayer “Reign in Blood” and the Dracula soundtrack.

* The British middle-aged lady was the perfect choice for the counter at I Love Hats. The only other person I could picture in the hat store was Queen Latifa’s sister. Janine went in to look for a certain pink fedora, but walked out with a grass cap of some kind. I did not buy any hats. I Hate Hats – I’m waiting for them to open that store.

A bird bit me today.
Two days ago Nathan invited me out to go to punk rock karaoke at The Cobalt tonight. I told him I wouldn’t go. But I did go to his place for a while just to spend some quality time with him before he went out. I looked at all the books on his shelves, and we listened to “Damn Your Eyes” by Johnny Cash after I damned Nathan’s eyes. It’s a great song and I had no idea it existed. Daniel and Josh were there, both of whom I have not seen in, like, forEVer. They went out to the Cobalt but I did not. Nathan has a love bird, but it did not live up to its name. It bit me rather hard on the finger. Before I left for home, Nathan gave me a staff. Yes, a nice long wooden staff. I can use it for my art reference photos. I had a lot of fun walking home with this 7-foot long staff, pretending I was a shaolin monk and freaking out the straights. With this new staff, I now have two staffs. I believe that’s quorum for a legitimate staff party.

I keep forgetting to mention this:

The book I co-wrote with Warren and others, Spaceship Zero the RPG, won an award last weekend. The Silver ENnie (second place – gold is first). Does that make me an award winning author? Either way, it’s pretty cool. I usually don’t put much faith in awards, but the ENnies are actually decided by public vote. Not that a million sheep can’t be wrong, but still. Adrian was at GenCon to accept the award for us (Adrian wrote some of it too, plus he’s so damn sexy) – for a limited time you can see his pic at www.greenronin.com (third photo down). Yes, the award is an oversize metallic d20 mounted to a plaque. Which is ironic because Spaceship Zero doesn’t use 20-sided dice. We won the award for “best non-open gaming product.” What does that mean? I’m not 100% sure. I do know that I’ve been watching episodes of Rocket Robin Hood all day long and it’s driving me APE-IN-HEAT-WILD!!!

So many colors that surround you
Some so bright I can hardly see
A light reflects on all the things that make you real
Things that make you truly free

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The new Ween album comes out in 3 days.

Do you understand?

THREE DAYS UNTIL WEEN. “Quebec” it’s called.

I long to see another Ween concert. I don’t really go out to concerts that much. As a person in a band, who has spent hours in bars and clubs all over this great country of ours, who doesn’t smoke or drink, I tend to stay out of bars for a number of reasons, some which may be obvious, others not. But there are bands that I will suffer the jerks and the aromas and the lack of creature comforts, they are: Ween, Nomeansno/Hanson Brothers, Queens of the Stone Age. And others. They will always get me out – providing I know about them. Typically I have to rely on my friends (that’s you!) to let me know when concerts are. I don’t really read the straight on a regular basis. I do get some newsletters from certain bands in my email inbox, but rarely do they have much to do with me or my town, so oftentime I gloss over them. Gloss gloss. Did you know that you can listen to Ween 24/7/52/ at weenradio.com? Because you can.

Anybody else going to see Eddie Izzard on the 29th?

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Malaise (n) 1. A vague feeling of bodily discomfort, as at the beginning of an illness. 2. A general sense of depression or unease.

What a contrast today is from yesterday. Yesterday my agenda was full to capacity. Today I’ve got no plans. There’s aways work. I wonder what everyone else is doing today. I could call and find out…couldn’t I? I’ve been feeling lately that the summer is a time when I should accept everyone’s invitation to do anything at all – no matter what my work schedule is like. I want to savour this summer, much more so than usual. Usually the summer, to me, is little different than any other season, except that it gets really hot in here. I want to do new and different things. I want to spend time with my friends, for a change! So, next time your doing something – and you wouldn’t mind me being a part of it – please gimme a call. I took a walk around the neighborhood this morning (early afternoon) looking for garage sales. I found four. There was nothing worth buying.

I’m not usually one to dwell on age, but it was recently my one month anniversary of my last birthday. Maybe I’m just at that exact age when birthdays seem to mean more than they really do. Before my birthday my feeling was “crap, my birthday’s coming up” but afterwards it was more “phew, well, now’s the MOST amount of time until my next birthday”. Which is retarded since the actual day is just an arbitrary marker of age (unlike replacing the filter in the Brita). It’s not like POINK!!! I’m significantly older now. I still can’t decide if I should have a regular old birthday party or one of my infamous birthday auctions. What’s your vote? You’re invited of course.

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You go through your life, thinking, “gosh (or shit, or whatever), if I just had this and this and this, I would be set. Life would be great. I would be satisfied.” If I just had a girlfriend and/or a better job and/or a nice house and/or etc etc. But it doesn’t matter what you have. Once you accomplish a goal, you set your sights on something else, don’t you? You’re never satisfied.

There are brief, placid moments in my life – ticks of the third hand – where I feel genuinely satisfied: After sex with someone I truly love; freshly holding in my hand a book in which I had a substantial creative input. After these moments pass – there’s always something more. Something else out there that I crave. I think that’s natural, a desire for that which is not yet experienced, attained, acquired. I think that’s “ambition”, or at least the catalyst for it. But it also leads to a feeling of unfulfilment. That I “should” have this, or I “could” have that by now, if I had played my cards right. And is that fair…to myself? That I don’t know….

I need to travel more (and farther) when I get some money. Or somebody drops a free trip in my lap.

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Well, I got my blog working again. Though as you can see, I had to reset everything. All the links are gone. I’ll get to them whenever the hell I want to. And you’ll like it! I also changed my comment service – so please feel free to post comments. I’ll give you a big sloppy wet kiss if you do. Or, if you don’t want me to give you big sloppy wet kiss, post a comment or else I will!

Today was a very busy day. I started out getting a call from Shawna about a half hour after I got up. I offered to help her move and she took me up on it. So I took the bus down to her old place downtown, and met Dave her boyfriend, and Dave’s parents, and Phil, and Sabrina her now ex-roommate. Then we moved stuff. Oh the stuff we moved! Actually it wasn’t so bad, in fact it’s one of the easiest moves I’ve done. I got all sweaty, so it made up for not playing tennis for days.

Let the word go forth: If you are moving, I will help you move. No questions asked. Actually, there is a caveat: if you’re not in walking distance of my place, you pay for my bus fare.

Phil drove me home and we talked about roleplaying games and H.P. Lovecraft’s Birthday Party. Yesterday an old client of mine, Mark Prince, got in touch with me. He asked me if I’d ever thought about selling my art at the Comicshop (on W 4th). I thought it was a whacky idea. Who would buy my art from a comic store? Who has the money? Why would the folks at a comic store want my art taking up space? But he knows Keith the manager there and said I should stop by. So after I got home from helping Shawna move, I threw together some art samples and walked down to the Comicshop. I talked to Keith and Matt and now I’m going to try to sell my artwork at the Comicshop. They were very friendly and open-minded about it so I guess we’ll just have to see what happens. I will actually be surprised if anyone is willing to buy my crap, but I suppose it’s not impossible.

While I was poking about the store I saw a beholdier miniature that I didn’t have, so I had to spend the $12 on that baby. Hopefully Jamie will paint it and glue it up for me. He’s been doing a stellar job on a good handful of my minis. He’s going to custom make me a gelatinous cube out of epoxy. I am, to use the parlance of our times, stoked. Then on my way back I walked past Zulu Records – I decided to go in and see what they had in the used section. They had a Cake album and the new Weezer album. I picked up both for 10 bucks each.

I walked back home, taped Powerpuff Girls, and then took the bus to Stephane’s. He had his BBQ/Housewarming party tonight. It wasn’t bad – Jamie was there and Sheri, of course, and a whole slew (slough?) of people that I didn’t know. CONS: Some girl talked to me about how astrology is a science and I stared blankly back at her; There were hideous singalongs. PROS: we played lots of colecovision games (Burger Time, Zaxxon, Pepper 2, Ladybug); chicken tandoori; blueberries; Stephan played piano.

It’s 2am on Tuesday morning.

I spent several hours tonight on cdnow.com which is basically amazon.com, looking for samples of music. I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately. Sometimes I go for weeks and weeks without listening to any music. It’s just that nothing gets put into the CD player. That seems crazy to me now. I’ve been listening to Swervedriver, Cake, Ween, QotSA, Radiohead, Hanson Brothers, Supergrass. I even put SNFU in for a spin, which I haven’t listened to for probably at least a year. Ang Hold made me a mixed CD which I’ve only sort of haphazardly listened to. It’s hard to get into the groove of unfamiliar music, oftentimes. Don’t you agree? Something about the comfort of familiarity, I suppose. But I am making a bona fide (that’s FIED, not FIDAY, Y.H. ;)) effort.

I was taping for Kirsten the last few episodes of Clone High that she hadn’t seen. For about the millionth time one of the songs on the show got into my head, and I finally decided to do something about it. I went to clonehighusa.com and read the lists they have of what bands appeared in what episodes. I systematically dropped the band names into the cdnow search function and listened to whatever samples were available. Kind of exhausting really, but I did get a few winners – or at least some potentials. Anyone heard of Dashboard Confessional, Abandoned Pools, Illyah Kuryahkin, or Bumblefoot? This last one I had to go to bumblefoot.com to hear samples – there were none on cdnow. There are multiple albums but most of them seem to be guitar noodling/solos, but one album called “Uncool” has this great Tom Jones knock-off. If you want to hear it, I can email it to you. It’s funny yet heavy.

Also there’s The Get Up Kids. I’ve heard of them before, usually in Marlo’s blog. Apparently Marlo’s supposed to be making me a mixed tape (nudge nudge) in exchange for a VHS of Samurai Jack – now that she’s in Vancouver maybe we can actually arrange for the trade. Hopefully something inspiring from The Get Up Kids will be represented thereon.

Stephane was telling me about this fellow who was interested in his barter site (www.chumpchange.ca) who wanted to trade DVDs (temporarily – just to watch). I think that’s a good idea, if all of us can extend and be worthy of one another’s trust, and furthermore, I think for music it’s an even better idea. I’ve been lending out a lot of CDs lately, especially my precious Masters of Reality (the band, not the album of the same name by Black Sabbath).

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What a fuckin’ week this has been!

I’ll be glad when it’s over.

Today is the big day. Rock and roll show at Lester’s Arcade. We couldn’t get our shit together to practice, and I have no idea what Lester’s is like, so I’m a little nervous. I also am slightly perplexed on how to get to the venue – I’m left to using the BC Transit website to find my way around Burnaby. That can never be good. One route: “106 NEW WESTMINSTER STN” ; Arrive at: EB KINGSWAY FS GILLEY ST 7:34p”
Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I got paid today. It’s been a while! A long long stressful while. In the freelance illustration business, you don’t get a regular paycheck, you know. You get paid within 30 days of the book being published, typically. I just got paid for a book that was months overdue. A measly $200 US but it will get me through a few more bills. But another book (Arcana Unearthed) just got published and I got my contributor copies, so that means another check will be forthcoming shortly. Sue & Monte always pay on time, bless their nerdy hearts. I am grateful beyond words that the post office didn’t go on strike. I think I will offer free cookies to postal workers. If you know a postal worker, pass that on. Free cookies at my place.

Hard times for everyone these days, methinks. The US economy has seen better days. I read that Bush will be the first president since Hoover to leave office with the economy worse off than when he started. Damn that li’l bastard. The job market in Vancouver is for shit, as well. Not that I’m looking. But I know people who are.

Still no offers from anyone to help me punkify my hair. I make the frowny-crying emoticon :'(

However I’ve been playing tennis quite regularly with Sheri and Stephane. That is good. That is very good. Finally a sport that is fun! Stephane has asked me if I wanted to join in Basketball but I am trepidacious. Also the court is quite far from my place. That’s the thing about tennis – not only is it fun and healthy, there is minimal travel time which is important to me. If you’re in Vancouver and lurking about the Oak & 12th Ave area – you really should contact me about playing some tennis. What I don’t like about tennis is that sometimes there are other tenniseers on the courts. Now, I like sharing, but not with these jocks, with their “seriousness” and their “skill” – no no no. I like playing goofy tennis (not to be confused with Goofy(tm) Tennis), where nobody keeps score and you’re encouraged to make Clone High quotes or funny squeaking noises when you hit the ball. So anyway – yeah…strangers. You kids get outta my courts! I usually try to play during the least busy times: 4:00 am. Or actually, in fact, to be serious, in the very early afternoon. Usually the tennis jocks are working their 9-5 jobs then so if you’re lucky you get all 4 courts to yourself. Then you don’t have to keep apologizing for hitting the ball into someone else’s court. Accidentally of course (wink wink).

We played a game of Spaceship Zero on Wednesday. Both Jamie’s and James’ character got horribly horribly killed. I won’t say how. It might be a secret to you, the reader. Especially considering I may run the same scenario again tomorrow at the NecroWombicon and then again at H.P. Lovecraft’s Birthday Party at the end of next month.

So, forgive me if I seem a little stressed out. It’s because I am. It doesn’t happen often so try to enjoy it.

And I’ll be back to my regular charismatic loudmouth self in a couple days! I guarantee* it!

* not a guarantee