Toren Atkinson

Well, I got my blog working again. Though as you can see, I had to reset everything. All the links are gone. I’ll get to them whenever the hell I want to. And you’ll like it! I also changed my comment service – so please feel free to post comments. I’ll give you a big sloppy wet kiss if you do. Or, if you don’t want me to give you big sloppy wet kiss, post a comment or else I will!

Today was a very busy day. I started out getting a call from Shawna about a half hour after I got up. I offered to help her move and she took me up on it. So I took the bus down to her old place downtown, and met Dave her boyfriend, and Dave’s parents, and Phil, and Sabrina her now ex-roommate. Then we moved stuff. Oh the stuff we moved! Actually it wasn’t so bad, in fact it’s one of the easiest moves I’ve done. I got all sweaty, so it made up for not playing tennis for days.

Let the word go forth: If you are moving, I will help you move. No questions asked. Actually, there is a caveat: if you’re not in walking distance of my place, you pay for my bus fare.

Phil drove me home and we talked about roleplaying games and H.P. Lovecraft’s Birthday Party. Yesterday an old client of mine, Mark Prince, got in touch with me. He asked me if I’d ever thought about selling my art at the Comicshop (on W 4th). I thought it was a whacky idea. Who would buy my art from a comic store? Who has the money? Why would the folks at a comic store want my art taking up space? But he knows Keith the manager there and said I should stop by. So after I got home from helping Shawna move, I threw together some art samples and walked down to the Comicshop. I talked to Keith and Matt and now I’m going to try to sell my artwork at the Comicshop. They were very friendly and open-minded about it so I guess we’ll just have to see what happens. I will actually be surprised if anyone is willing to buy my crap, but I suppose it’s not impossible.

While I was poking about the store I saw a beholdier miniature that I didn’t have, so I had to spend the $12 on that baby. Hopefully Jamie will paint it and glue it up for me. He’s been doing a stellar job on a good handful of my minis. He’s going to custom make me a gelatinous cube out of epoxy. I am, to use the parlance of our times, stoked. Then on my way back I walked past Zulu Records – I decided to go in and see what they had in the used section. They had a Cake album and the new Weezer album. I picked up both for 10 bucks each.

I walked back home, taped Powerpuff Girls, and then took the bus to Stephane’s. He had his BBQ/Housewarming party tonight. It wasn’t bad – Jamie was there and Sheri, of course, and a whole slew (slough?) of people that I didn’t know. CONS: Some girl talked to me about how astrology is a science and I stared blankly back at her; There were hideous singalongs. PROS: we played lots of colecovision games (Burger Time, Zaxxon, Pepper 2, Ladybug); chicken tandoori; blueberries; Stephan played piano.

It’s 2am on Tuesday morning.

I spent several hours tonight on cdnow.com which is basically amazon.com, looking for samples of music. I’ve been listening to a lot of music lately. Sometimes I go for weeks and weeks without listening to any music. It’s just that nothing gets put into the CD player. That seems crazy to me now. I’ve been listening to Swervedriver, Cake, Ween, QotSA, Radiohead, Hanson Brothers, Supergrass. I even put SNFU in for a spin, which I haven’t listened to for probably at least a year. Ang Hold made me a mixed CD which I’ve only sort of haphazardly listened to. It’s hard to get into the groove of unfamiliar music, oftentimes. Don’t you agree? Something about the comfort of familiarity, I suppose. But I am making a bona fide (that’s FIED, not FIDAY, Y.H. ;)) effort.

I was taping for Kirsten the last few episodes of Clone High that she hadn’t seen. For about the millionth time one of the songs on the show got into my head, and I finally decided to do something about it. I went to clonehighusa.com and read the lists they have of what bands appeared in what episodes. I systematically dropped the band names into the cdnow search function and listened to whatever samples were available. Kind of exhausting really, but I did get a few winners – or at least some potentials. Anyone heard of Dashboard Confessional, Abandoned Pools, Illyah Kuryahkin, or Bumblefoot? This last one I had to go to bumblefoot.com to hear samples – there were none on cdnow. There are multiple albums but most of them seem to be guitar noodling/solos, but one album called “Uncool” has this great Tom Jones knock-off. If you want to hear it, I can email it to you. It’s funny yet heavy.

Also there’s The Get Up Kids. I’ve heard of them before, usually in Marlo’s blog. Apparently Marlo’s supposed to be making me a mixed tape (nudge nudge) in exchange for a VHS of Samurai Jack – now that she’s in Vancouver maybe we can actually arrange for the trade. Hopefully something inspiring from The Get Up Kids will be represented thereon.

Stephane was telling me about this fellow who was interested in his barter site (www.chumpchange.ca) who wanted to trade DVDs (temporarily – just to watch). I think that’s a good idea, if all of us can extend and be worthy of one another’s trust, and furthermore, I think for music it’s an even better idea. I’ve been lending out a lot of CDs lately, especially my precious Masters of Reality (the band, not the album of the same name by Black Sabbath).

keep reading…

What a fuckin’ week this has been!

I’ll be glad when it’s over.

Today is the big day. Rock and roll show at Lester’s Arcade. We couldn’t get our shit together to practice, and I have no idea what Lester’s is like, so I’m a little nervous. I also am slightly perplexed on how to get to the venue – I’m left to using the BC Transit website to find my way around Burnaby. That can never be good. One route: “106 NEW WESTMINSTER STN” ; Arrive at: EB KINGSWAY FS GILLEY ST 7:34p”
Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I got paid today. It’s been a while! A long long stressful while. In the freelance illustration business, you don’t get a regular paycheck, you know. You get paid within 30 days of the book being published, typically. I just got paid for a book that was months overdue. A measly $200 US but it will get me through a few more bills. But another book (Arcana Unearthed) just got published and I got my contributor copies, so that means another check will be forthcoming shortly. Sue & Monte always pay on time, bless their nerdy hearts. I am grateful beyond words that the post office didn’t go on strike. I think I will offer free cookies to postal workers. If you know a postal worker, pass that on. Free cookies at my place.

Hard times for everyone these days, methinks. The US economy has seen better days. I read that Bush will be the first president since Hoover to leave office with the economy worse off than when he started. Damn that li’l bastard. The job market in Vancouver is for shit, as well. Not that I’m looking. But I know people who are.

Still no offers from anyone to help me punkify my hair. I make the frowny-crying emoticon :'(

However I’ve been playing tennis quite regularly with Sheri and Stephane. That is good. That is very good. Finally a sport that is fun! Stephane has asked me if I wanted to join in Basketball but I am trepidacious. Also the court is quite far from my place. That’s the thing about tennis – not only is it fun and healthy, there is minimal travel time which is important to me. If you’re in Vancouver and lurking about the Oak & 12th Ave area – you really should contact me about playing some tennis. What I don’t like about tennis is that sometimes there are other tenniseers on the courts. Now, I like sharing, but not with these jocks, with their “seriousness” and their “skill” – no no no. I like playing goofy tennis (not to be confused with Goofy(tm) Tennis), where nobody keeps score and you’re encouraged to make Clone High quotes or funny squeaking noises when you hit the ball. So anyway – yeah…strangers. You kids get outta my courts! I usually try to play during the least busy times: 4:00 am. Or actually, in fact, to be serious, in the very early afternoon. Usually the tennis jocks are working their 9-5 jobs then so if you’re lucky you get all 4 courts to yourself. Then you don’t have to keep apologizing for hitting the ball into someone else’s court. Accidentally of course (wink wink).

We played a game of Spaceship Zero on Wednesday. Both Jamie’s and James’ character got horribly horribly killed. I won’t say how. It might be a secret to you, the reader. Especially considering I may run the same scenario again tomorrow at the NecroWombicon and then again at H.P. Lovecraft’s Birthday Party at the end of next month.

So, forgive me if I seem a little stressed out. It’s because I am. It doesn’t happen often so try to enjoy it.

And I’ll be back to my regular charismatic loudmouth self in a couple days! I guarantee* it!

* not a guarantee

Hi everyone. I’m not feeling my usual jubilant self today but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let three days go by without a blog entry.

Chris aka Chris Stewart aka Stewey aka my roommate got back from the San Diego Comic Con yesterday, and he brought back lots of nerdy finery. It is good. I’ve also been playing tennis the past couple of days after a 2 or 3 week hiatus. I usually like to play in the early afternoon in the courts right by my house, if anyone wants to join me who isn’t already on my tennis spam list, please let me know!

Also, I have been hemming and hawing (hawwing?) about redoing my hair purple (after bleaching of course). I think the time to strike is now. Can anyone volunteer to help a punk boy out? I have all the stuff – I just need an extra pair of hands to help apply the goop evenly.

Can it really be four days since I posted? Outrageous, you must be thinking. And I concur. Never fear, though, I’m back!

This morning I got an email from someone I went to junior high school with, who I haven’t seen or heard from in 10 years. I actually didn’t know him very well, but he reminded me (well, reminded is the wrong word since I have no memory of it) of something that happened back in grade 8. That’s cool. I think everyone should email me to tell me their memories of me, since my own memory is so hit and miss. Then I could compile a biography, which I would then read front to back and wonder how much of it was true. But maybe that has to start with me emailing people I knew back in school and telling them stories. In which case I’d have to find all these people – thank gawd I get spam from Classmates every few days!!! (Bit of sarcasm there.)

But the good news is that I’ve got this blog! So that in 20 years I don’t have to depend on out-of-the-blue emails to remind me what my life was like. I’ve got my writing and your…

This concludes the science lesson portion of the blog entry.

After yummy dinner at the Mongolian BBQ we watched Rushmore. The last several times I’ve watched Rushmore I had no idea who Brian Cox was. It’s always a cool little treasure to learn about a new actor, and then go back to rediscover him in one of your favourite movies. Brian Cox of course was Striker in X-Men 2, and in Rushmore he was Dr. Guggenheim, the dean of Rushmore (I assume). He’s been in tons of movies I haven’t seen but was also in The Ring, Adaptation and The Bourne Identity – all good and very different movies.

Yet how come when I went to Wendy’s for a salad lunch I saw a half dozen old people eating there. I mean – don’t they know better than to drink watered down coke?

Tonight Yvonne and I ate at Wrap Zone. They ran out of bananas because of (I say) some freak who ordered 11 smoothies just ahead of us. But the good news is they gave me a card for a free smoothie. So – tomorrow – lunchtime – see you there. After we finished filling out the comment card at Wrap Zone and walking to Roger’s Video, we watched Rabbit-Proof Fence. They didn’t actually show any rabbits – leaving me to ask, where’s the “Proof“? Not as misleading a movie title as 200 Cigarettes or Dog Day Afternoon, but still – I wanted rabbit proof. The fence, they had, so that was good.

The movie was pretty good. We kept making japes throughout it so we kept missing stuff. But even so it seemed to jump over important things rather quickly and, as Yvonne pointed out, there was an abundance of “close calls”. It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped it would be. Still good though.

Plus Yvonne met Kodos, and vice versa. They exchanged rubbings. Yeah so…that was pretty much my day. Well it was exciting for me, anyway.

Christopher Walken is up for the roll of Willie Wonka in Tim Burton’s new adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Hey, Burton! Remember when you used to do originals? I do. Those were the halcyon days.

Professor Frink, Professor Frink, He’ll make you laugh, he’ll make you think…

There was this guy…heh heh…at acting class…heh…and he was funny. To look at. Anyway, I already told the story to both Stuey and Yvonne so I’m all pooped out on that one. Sorry.

Here’s another story: the washing machine in our building is broken. I suspect it’s been broken for a few days. I put my load of laundry in with soap and everything before I noticed that the money slot was stuck in the ‘in’ position. So I took my load back out and threw it into the bathtub, and washed it by hand. Can you imagine such a thing? How did they do it in the old days? I asked Stuey if he had a washboard and he said “never ask me that again.” Anyway I gave the forearms a good workout wringing out the towels and then I threw them into the dryer – which was working! I feel so industrious. Strangely, in the laundry room were some baby socks still in the package, something that looked like a turkey baster (also in a package) and a bunch of scratch & win cards from Husky/Mohawk gas stations. There was a free coffee crisp, a free coke, a free pepsi, and a free ice cream bar of some kind. I left them down there because there’s no Mohawk around here. Does anyone want them? Actually…that free coffee crisp is too good to leave down there for one of the other cretins in the building. I’ll be right back….

Okay it was a nasal aspirator, not a turkey baster. And the coffee crisp WAS the ice cream bar. Meaning: coffee crisp flavoured ice cream bar.

The building manager’s roommate invited me to a BBQ for the building. I said I’d consider it and tell Stuey. Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa! I could have told her the truth: that I’d rather have botfly squirming in my neck, but I don’t think that would have gone over well. The people in this building are all very scary, with 2 exceptions. Janine’s scary too but in an artsy way so it’s OK. One time I was doing laundry and I let this guy into the building who was buzzing Erin on the main floor. As I walked away Erin or her roommate let him into the apartment and I heard her ask something, to which the slightly audible reply was “freak boy let me in.” So, I know where he stands anyway. It’s okay – I don’t mind being considered freak boy to the pinks. They can say whatever they want as long as they don’t say it to me. That could bring things dangerously close to a conversation.

Here’s a follow up to my rolaids entry:

My dad sent me an email:
Welcome to the Atkinson curse. G.E.R.D. (Gastro-esophogial reflux disorder). Your Grampa treats his with a teaspoon of baking soda in a glass of water (about 4 oz.) 1/2 hr. before bed. I on the other hand take a prescription drug daily called Prevacid. In between these are Pepcid AC, Zantac and/or their generic (cheaper) brands, and of course Rolaids/Tums etc. Good Luck, Dad

Then, my mom added:
…don’t forget to eat mush in the morning, also Dad finds he cannot eat lettuce at dinnertime, it adds to his stomach rumbles at bedtime. And of course spicy food will do it to you. Regular meals is best, don’t forget your fruits and veggies. Eat healthy, oh, and yoghurt is the best thing for you, good bacteria for your tummy.

So I guess that answers my ‘burning’ questions (sorry about that). I guess it’s not life-threatening. I don’t have any trouble with lettuce though. Anyway, it’s good to know they’re looking out for me, their one and only son (after Merrick).