"Perpetual" WWFJ – The Game

World Wildlife Federation of Justice

Yes…you want to play my superanimal game – I know you do.

Chris made up Go-Rilla, the ape with super-speed.
David Bradley is working on Major Ursa, a bear with powers from the North Star itself.
Denzil has an idea for Pen-gun
and Martin has a porcupine geneticist character that I don’t really get.
James has some kind of boar idea that’s a bit shakey….

I’ve got some adventures and bad guys all lined up though. I’ve changed the lineup of the major bad guy team (I’m sure there will be more than one bad guy team – these guys may actually turn out to be the minor bad guy team, it’s too early to say). Rhinosferatu of course, and Hypnopotamus. I’m not sure if I’m going to stick with Elongator and Elephantom on the team. Tarmadillo is going on for sure, though. Possibly Laardvark & Invisibull, but I’ve not decided.

The good guys will be part of a Justice League-type organization – the WWFJ (title of this post). So the player characters will start off as independents and the idea is they will earn their membership into the Federation. That way, you know…they’ll have a pension. There are six “big league” members of the WWFJ, and they are:

Astromandrill, cosmic-powered ape from another world (think Superman mixed with Silver Surfer)
Porcules, swine of legend (think Thor and Hercules)
The Llamazonian, warrior-woman with an enchanted bow. (Wonder Woman meets Green Arrow or Hawkeye)
Gnucleus, the radioactive gnu (uh…yeah)
Octopussycat, mistress of a thousand squid-gadgets (Like Batman – she’s got the Octomobile and the utility belt and all the rest)
Pandroid, robotic panda from the future
The Great Wolverini, master of the mystic arts (Dr. Strange or Dr. Fate knock-off)

The player characters themselves will be very lucky to interact with this major players in the superhero world.

And, I bought a new VCR today – it has “commercial skip” which I’m pretty excited about.

I had a superfun time last night watching Day of the Wacko and Schizopolis at Janet’s with Marlo, Stinky, Yvonne, Naomi, John and Brian (and Janet). We had a break between films for Falafel Magic and I had one of my favourite meals in the whole wide world – the Veggie Lover. And it’s true what they say – everybody needs a good veggie lover. What an enjoyable film Schizopolis is, I highly recommend it, and I was overdue to see it a second time. It makes you laugh, it makes you think. We also talked about owls (see Naomi’s blog) and hockey (I used to play Chicago when I played the video game back in 93-94 and I was unbeatable for a while there) and Marlo’s boobies (they come up often).

I also stopped by Drexoll’s to buy a bard miniature for Fairfax the NPC in the Wednesday girl game of D&D. I need to have another miniature painting party right after Con Fu. I also talked to Jeremy at the Comicshop about the live action game his group is running on the Friday of Con Fu and it’s a shame more people aren’t signed up – it sounds interesting! Go sign up!

This has happened before.

For some reason select emails sent to hotmail addresses are being delayed.
Just so you know. So if you’ve got a hotmail account and you’re expecting an email from me, “the check is in the mail.”

Something I considered while reading responses to LiveJournal posts:

If I changed my username to “Anonymous” – would all anonymous posts be attributed to me? I’d like to think that they would, and furthermore, I would enjoy the irony.

Baldrick, do you know what irony is?
Of course…it’s like goldy or silvery, except made of iron.

Have fun storming the castle!

During the 11th hour of getting ready for D&D tonight – I came up with some interesting traps.

There are currently 8 characters in the girl group:

Marwen (elf ranger) Level 4 as of the end of tonight’s adventure – Marlo
Sarah (human cleric) Level 4 – Kelly
Zo (human wizard) 4 as of tonight’s adventure – Paul (not a girl)
Jeffrey (wendigo druid) 1 – Deanna
Anansi (aranea) 3 – Anghold
Olga (halfling rogue) 1 – Aili
Jazzad (human druid NPC) 3
Fairfax (elf bard NPC) 3
Michelle is working on a new character since her dwarf fighter died last session.

They arrived at a fort where they hoped to meet the refugees from their town. Instead they found giants having taken over the fort – hill giants. All but one of the giants, an adolescent, were blind. First the giants, who were holed up in the tower, tried to bluff the players out of their food and horses (horses also being food), but the players wouldn’t go for it. They tried to take the giants on, a very bold move especially considering they had no idea the giants were blind. They didn’t really know they were giants (as far as they knew they could have been ogres or ettins or trolls), but still, for level 3 characters, taking on more than one giant-like creature is pretty rash. An adult hill giant has 102 hit points and is a challenge rating 7. Add to this the fact that the giants were extremely well protected in a fort, I really didn’t expect the players to storm the castle. But they did, so I was glad I took the time to scrounge up some maps beforehand. As they tried to smash in the doors to the keep, the giants threw rocks down on them, even the blind ones. This is how they (well, Marlo) figured out that some of them might be blind – because they were dreadful shots. But they managed to hack through the doors and ascend the stairs – enter my traps.

I looked through published books on traps but it just wasn’t helpful, so I used my noggin. Being blind, for the most part, the giants had to rely on sound to tell them where the adventurers were, so they had set up a series of alarms in the form of wires tied to buckets full of jingly jangly rocks and trinkets. Pretty basic stuff but with the cleric in the front, this turned out effective for them. The players were lined up all single file as she tripped the first jingly, cuing a giant to push a big boulder down the stairs. That softened them up.

Secondly, they arrived at a room full of detritus and waste. The floor was covered with it. Underneath the leaves etc the giants were clever enough to leave shards of pottery strewn about, so that when the PCs walked over it there would be a scrunch scrunch sound, which would cue that giant to pull on the rope that would drag the PCs up the stairs in a net. Luckily Marwen was the only one who might have been caught up, and she managed to jump away in time.

The last and most devious trap were stairs that were covered in poo and other gross liquids. In fact, the scat was only spread over the stairs to cover the oil. When Marwen got halfway up the stairs, she saw a giant head peek around the corner, and he lit the stairs on fire, burning her tootsies something fierce.

So by the time they got to the top, they were all rather beaten up. It’s very lucky that the only competent (i.e. sighted) foe was a juvenile – with only 60 hit points and less strength (and therefor damage) than a regular giant. The blind giants did nothing except hover around, keeping the PCs from gaining ground.

All of the player characters who were present went down in that fight, and were it not for the NPCs they might have fared a lot worse – maybe even died! “And for what? For what I say?” asks Jazzad….

Theft sucks. And I don’t condone it.

Three band’s worth (Secret Three, Video Tokyo, Mimi’s Ami) of really excellent guitars were stolen on Easter Monday. None of us had insurance on the dear things. If you wouldn’t mind passing the word along to any music types so they can pass the word along and so on, maybe we’ll track down where the guitars end up. These are the goods: ’79 Fender Precision Bass S910203 active pick-ups natural colour missing knobs on the volume and tone controls; Fender Squire Telecaster SV13564 sunburst; Fender Thinline Telecaster Z1027736 white; Fender Telecaster N503774 black; Fender Telecaster light yellow Made in Japan; Epiphone Les Paul Jr.; Mackie Microseries Mixer. Any tips would be appreciated. Thanks & best to you all, miko c/o Diane Kadota Arts Management 604 683 8240

Top Story: Moviegoer Nerd Seeks Accompaniment
The Return of the King is now playing at Tinseltown! I am going to see it on Thursday at noon. Best seats in town. Only six dollars. Bubble Tea nearby. Anyone care to join?

Boycotter Vindicated Again; Gloats
“While promoting the second volume of the series, opening theatrically on April 16th, Tarantino revealed that he plans to recut both films together for a special theatrical release later in the year.”

Can I just say: Ahhhhhhhh-hahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!

It’s a very exciting time, being in the company of squid experts, albeit online. They have welcomed me with open arms. More on this later. In the meantime, did you know that Canada has finally banned baby walkers?

Also, American scientists announced that frequent ejaculation can help prevent prostate cancer? Words to live by.

I was thinking about doing an article on giant squid and colossal squid for the People of Innsmouth (the official The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets newsletter) and I came across some interesting information. There was a live giant squid photographed and you can see some of these photos online http://www.pref.kyoto.jp/kaiyo/2-topicnews/news/2002/02-02-01/mega-squid/mega-squid-01.html

It’s confirmed that it’s an architeuthis (giant squid) by marine biologist Steve O’Shea – I’ve seen him on a Discovery Channel giant squid documentary, and I’m thinking I may interview him for this article. He’s actually a moderator on a cephalopod message board.

Anyway – this is the first time and only time a live giant squid has been photographed, to my knowledge. So, pretty cool.

I dreamt there was a team of marine biologists studying studying sex with whales but when they were in the ocean and the whales were actually coming for them they chickened out.

Then I dreamt I was lost in Montreal, and there was horse poo all over the ground. And I got trampled by a horse.

Then I dreamt I was in Chilliwack with Hoolie’s car and there was something wrong with the brakes, and Anghold was going to take the skytrain in. I realized after I spoke with her on the phone that the skytrain didn’t come to Chilliwack so I drove around looking for a phone.

There was a dearth of garage sales today. A dearth I say! But I did get four videos and two boxes of pencils for only a dollar. Mostly I got the videos for the cases, actually. Plastic cases at the store will cost you a buck each. I also stopped by that sword store on Cambie – I forget what it’s called…Dragon’s Treasures or some such sillyness. I bought a letter opener sword. I didn’t really need it but I can probably use it eventually (not for opening letters of course) and I figured a store like that can probably use all the customers it can get, otherwise one day I’ll pop by to admire the halberds and the shop will be gone baby gone.

So, here it is: I hope the Canucks lose all their games. In fact it would be nice if they didn’t score a single goal from now until…well until I move out really. Normally I wouldn’t care one way or the other but I have these neighbors right next to me in the building who like hang out on the balcony during hockey games and shout “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” and try to make passing cars honk their horns (both during and well after a game). They even have a hockey stick that is dangling some player (I assume in an opposing team’s jersey) by a noose, and a big Canucks flag in their window. So, I’m assuming if the Canucks get out of the playoffs as soon as possible it will simmer down around here. I was checking the TV listings to see if there was any good cartoons or documentaries on tonight, and I noticed the game tonight against Calgary. I’m dreading having to stay home to draw while the yokels get rowdy nearby. Oh what a curmudgeon am I!

There, I said it.