Gadzooks! This morning I had a dream that I was one of the kids trapped in the world of Dungeons & Dragons, and we were all running and hiding from Tiamat.
Space-Dream Continuum
I had a dream I was back in high school, which I hate, but this one had a perk: Josh walked into class and I said “You’re going to have a daughter.” He seemed puzzled and then a tear opened up in the space/time continuum nearby and I said to myself “aw yeah, rifts in the fabric of time….”
Pretty Much the Coolest Thing in the World
I just don’t understand why some people aren’t as interested in deep sea life as I am! Weird!
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/462/1321/1600/anglerfish.0.jpg
Are all my readers gone? It’s been a week since I posted anything of substance. Well my friends, I have been busy drawing. I have 3 art jobs to catch up on and I took 5 days off my day job to work on them. I went from practically never watching TV to watching hour after hour day after day. So I’m caught up on all the dumb commercials. Through an amazing set of circumstances, I haven’t missed an episode of America’s Next Top Model since the new season started. Last night they got rid of my second favourite. I liked her because she wasn’t stupidly skinny. Toren’s top model is, of course, the one with the short, dyed red hair, Molly Sue.
I’ve also been watching a lot of Turner Classic Movies. I love that channel. LOVE IT! And I’ve been taping some science documentaries.
The other night I had a dream that Taylor and I were on a Greyhound to Chilliwack. I sat next to a girl who happened to be incredibly cute and we bonded over a Fugazi song. I missed my stop when we got to Chilliwack (the Greyhound became a city bus) so she invited me to her place. It was a great way to start a dream but then it became an exercise in frustration as I met her crazy grandma and I spent the rest of the dream trying to find my wallet in my backpack.
Mr Hard Nipples
I don’t know what the deal is in this building, but every time I catch my reflection, I’ve got hard nipples. No sir, I don’t like it. I don’t want to be the guy known for hard nipples. Am I going to have to tape them down like in Yentl? (Am I even getting the reference right?)
So this morning I had a dream that I met this girl on a bus, she was a bit chubby and short but otherwise she looked a bit like Julianne Moore with fiery red short hair, and we went to see a film with everyone else on the bus and she started making out with me. Just when things were getting good she turned into a cat. Then some other cat and Kodos showed up and it turned into a dream about me trying to keep cats from killing eachother. What a disappointment.
It was snowing hard when I went to bed, but now it’s melting. Melllllllllltinnnnng what a world!
“Ba” is Mandarin for “8.” Around here, because there are a lot of toll-free lines being dictated to customers, and because we have Chinese customer support staff, you hear a lot of “ba ba ba…” which always makes me think of a one year old reaching futilely for the shiny, primary-coloured plastic shapes on his mobile above the crib.
I was thinking about having people over tonight to watch Network or something. I know it’s short notice but let me know if you’re interested. And I can’t check email during the daytime so just comment here.
Dogs are suckers for sob stories.
Oh that stupid groundhog was right! It’s a snowstorm! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
I had a dream this morning that Kier-La came back to get married, and I was hanging around her house which was like a party house in some ways, and I thought it was my last chance to tell her that I used to have a crush on her, which doesn’t make any sense. And the Thickets jam space was in a garage that was behind her house.
That’s all for now.
I'm Biff, I'm Bart. We think we're pretty smart.
This morning I had a dream that I went to meet with Marlo at some marijuana cafe downtown, and she was high and grumpy. Then we met up with some tall guy and started walking around town. That’s it.
On the bus this morning I had to hold the hand of a thicky construction worker who got kicked off his site during orientation because he didn’t have a liner for his hardhat. He was wearing a big puffy jacket with godawful giant stars on it in red and black and white. He got on at the same stop as I, and when he told me his plight I just smirked. Maybe he was expecting sympathy but he reminded me too much of that Canadian actor/comedian Andy Dubrochelabolweilslwhatever (help me out here, Taylor) from the Biff and Bart segment of Switchback or whatever it was I used to watch years ago. Not the Kokanee sasquatch guy, the other guy.
I don’t know if it’s the fact that my diet is so boring, but I’ve been drinking a lot more alcohol than usual. And by “a lot more” I mean “a tiny bit,” as you probably know that I don’t drink. I’ve been spiking my bedtime milk with sambuca. Probably because sambuca is sweet. Watch out, old man, theres a new rummy in town. I just learned there’s something called “witch elder bush” in sambuca. Witch elder bush.
Witch elder bush.
Tenacious P
Last night I had a couple of dreams. One with Marlo and her folks, and then another that I think is worth describing.
Standing up to some really ginormous blue t-shirt-wearing bully at Vedder Junior Secondary School, I saw a giant black shape, like an amorphous bat, flap into view and swirl around the area. We (myself and everyone around me) were truly shocked to see it, as if it were happening in real life and not a dream. What the hell is that? I yelled. I realized it was a magical cloak, and then it came to me: its Harry Potter! The cloak fluttered around and a couple more joined in. There seemed to be some kind of conflict, like Harry was somewhere inside the cloak and the vileness of it was corrupting him. I used my own magic to expunge the evil, and Harry became a bright point of holy light. We were all very pleased but just when we relaxed, the point of light exploded into blackness and dissipated. Harry was dead! This opened the gateway for a flood of monsters rampaging around the school. I pushed through the demons and found the door from whence they came. I tried to fend them off but was unable to do so, until I realized I had a secret weaponWonderboy by Tenacious D. So I got up on a counter and started singing and dancing and I had the demons rapt attention, just like the pied piper of Hamlin. I guess it worked, because by the end of the dream I was eating candy.
This is My Post About Adding Categories to My Blog, And The Feelings Dredged Up Reading Old Entries.
I’ve added a bunch of categories to my blog for the very first time. Now if by some weird lapse of judgment you want to read all of my twisted dreams, you can do so with a click of a link. I’ve spent the past week going through my old entries and classifying them. This has been bittersweet, given the recent breakup. But it’s also reminded me of a lot of things about the past year and a half that I’ve forgotten. It’s also made me realize how oblique most of my blog titles are. Oh well, at least this entry’s is straightforward. I still have lots more entries to go through, but I’ve had enough for now.
Speaking of dreams, I’ve been having frustrated ones. This morning’s was about living in the boonies (such as Maple Ridge or Langley) and being forced to take tremendous bus rides to avoid being trapped. Plus other personal stuff I won’t go into here. Nyah nyah.
Not another one?
Last week I had a dream where tsunamis were battering the coast, so everyone started fleeing inland, and then in front of the panicked crowds a gigantic meteor came down and smashed into the Earth causing a tremendous explosion. It was the end of the world as we know it! Then there were these weird black oozy creatures that were kind of like grim reapers or something, going around and converting others to black oozy creatures. Fun! I would prefer an apocalyptic dream over a high school dream any day of the week.
Sweet Dreams are Made of Ninjas
Strange dream last night. Marlo and I were in Janets old place while shes away in Japan, and criticizing her choice in furniture (not your real life furniture, Janet the stuff my subconscious put there). Then there a bunch of people came in and there were a bunch of physical contests (probably a result of me watching a couple hours of Kenny vs Spenny the other night with Stewie) and eventually the dream focused on one guy. The guy was very competitive and after a couple of contests he left the house and got in a cab. The cab was driven by Joe Pesci in a blonde wig. They got into this part of town that Pesci was nervous about and rightly so because .NINJAS!!!! The guy got out of the cab and was checking out this sort of a mansion and all these ninjas started coming out and attacking him. He started to do wacky things like jumping backwards off of tall stone fences and grabbing lips of the fence lower down with his fingertips, blocking sword blades with the palm of his hand, and suchlike. One of the ninjas was doublefisting flaming crossbows.