Category: General

If you thought it was hot in my apartment before, just wait until next year.

Governor James McGreevey of New Jersey announced that he is a “gay American” and resigned. “I am here today because, shamefully, I engaged in an adult consensual affair with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony,” he said. “It was wrong. It was foolish. It was inexcusable.” [Men’s News Daily]

The California Supreme Court nullified gay marriages in that state

Four people were arrested in the Philippines for killing, cooking, and eating a relative at a wedding reception. [Associated Press]

A British rapist who was out of prison for a weekend leave won the lottery

Dominican migrants, lost at sea on their way to Puerto Rico, threw a woman overboard when she refused to share her breast milk with other passengers.

A 480-pound Florida woman who had not left her couch for six years died when doctors attempted to separate her from the couch, which was fused to her body. [WFTV.com]

President Saparmurat Niyazov of Turkmenistan ordered the construction of a palace of ice.

Croatian explorers found the world’s deepest hole.

A Pakistani man was in custody in North Carolina for videotaping skyscrapers. [Associated Press]

Roughly 1,600 Palestinians in Israeli jails began a hunger strike to protest their conditions; “As far as I’m concerned, they can strike for a day, a month, until death,” said Tzahi Hanegbi, the Israeli security minister. [BBC]

A flaming rabbit burned down a British cricket club. [Reuters]

British researchers were granted a license to clone human stem cells.

A new strain of HIV, which is undetectable by normal HIV tests, has appeared in Cameroon.

A twin delivered two sets of twins on her birthday.

Scientists used a dopamine blocker to turn lazy monkeys into hard workers. [Reuters]

“Come on, get going, you time-wasting bastards” – Bernard Black

[ Basics ]
Name: Mr Super Long Survey Taker
Do you like it?: I despise it like my own son
Nicknames: Toren McBoren MacBin, Hermiston Melons, Dungeon Master, Mr Owen E Worm, Nerot-hotep, Tory
Screen names: thickets
Birthday: June 28 1970
Sign: Help Wanted
Location: Vancouver
School: Crazy Go Nuts University.
Status: Single
Crush: Jayna.
Virgin?: Only my drinks.
Natural hair color: my hair is like a halo of mouse-brown fire
Current hair color: indescribable, like the colour out of space. But if I had to describe it – sloth moss green.
Eye color: green.
Height: 5’9″ apparently
Birthplace: Winterpeg, Manitoba
Shoe size: 10.5
Bra size: I guess I should find this out.

[ Family ]
Parents: Yes.
Siblings: Merrick my oldest and eldest brother.
Live with: In order of most furry to least furry: Kodos and Stewie.
Favorite relative: Uncle Harry

[ Favorites ]
Number: 2.
Color: madder.
Day: Saturday morning.
Month: Smarch, despite the lousy weather
Song: Some guy did a remix of the Superfriends theme song, and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
Movie: Spaceship Zero
Food: licorice; hot mustard/horseradish.
Band: Nomeansno.
Season: Ausprwinsumtumner
Sport: Tennis
Teacher: I forget his name.
Drink: Bubble Tea
Veggie: Umm…killer tomatoes?
TV Show: Superfriends meet the Real Ghostbusters
Radio Station: Emergency Broadcast System
Store: I give up.
Word: Either Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia or poo.
Animal: architeuthis dux
Flower: venus fly trap
State: Denial.

[ This or That ]
Me/You: Both
Coke/pepsi: Henry Weinhardt’s premium draft root beer
Day/night: Night.
Aol/aim: Trillian.
Cd/cassette: Cassettes are more reliable.
Dvd/vhs: VHS are more reliable
Jeans/khakis: khakis
Car/truck: whichever causes the least pollution and noise
Tall/short: short
Lunch/dinner: midnight snack
NSYNC/BSB: Ashley Angel from O-Town
Britney/Christina: Peaches
Gap/Old Navy: Gap.
Lipstick/Lipgloss: Au naturale.
Silver/Gold: Brass.
Alcohol/Weed: qualuudes.

[ Love and Relationships ]
Do you have a bf/gf?: not yet
Do you have a crush?: no
How long have you liked him/her?: forever
Why do you like this person: because they don’t exist.
If you’re single… why are you single?: I’m going to have to call B.O. on this one.
If you’re not single… give details: No, YOU give details!
How long was your longest relationship?: longer than a year but shorter than two.
How long was your shortest relationship?: several weeks?
Who was your first love?: I don’t know
What do you miss about them?: the knife-throwing.

[ The Past ]
What is the one thing you would change about your past?: I would make it shorter.
Last thing you heard: noisy cars with misaligned wheels
Last thing you saw: Last thing you saw:
Last thing you said: Bye bye
Who is the last person you saw?: Yvonne
Who is the last person you kissed?: Kirsten
Who is the last person you hugged?: Yvonne
Who is the last person you fought with?: Tinessa – but there were no fists.
Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: Marlo
What is the last TV show you saw?: Ren & Stimpy (on tape)
What is the last song you heard?: Oh, uh…I’m going to have to say Massive Attack “Teardrops on the Fire” in Andria’s car because I don’t remember the actual last song.
[ The Present ]
What are you wearing?: Holy smokes these questions are getting boring
What are you doing?: yawn
Who are you talking to?: Okay I’m going to start making up my own questions because that’s the only way this is going to hold my interest…
What song are you listening to?: When’s the last time you peed in the shower? Sometimes you gotta get when the gettin’s good.
Where are you?: What was your last D&D character class? Wizard/monk fashioned after the main hero in Volcano High.
Are you online?: What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you? I went through high school. Also I was attacked by a blind doberman pinscher.
How are you feeling?: What’s the last thing you had a big fight about? I’m not sure – probably something about not making enough sacrifices.
Are you in a chatroom?: Whose the last really good friend in your life that you don’t have any sort of contact with anymore? Tinessa

[ Future ]
What day is it tomorrow?: What day are you most looking forward to? Could be Tuesday.
What are you going to do after this?: What do you hope to accomplish the most this week? Get my bank balance up to a healthy level, if possible.
Who are you going to talk to?: Tony. REDRUM! REDRUM!
Where are you going to go?: Under the sea, under the sea! There’ll be no accusations, just friendly crustaceans under the seeeeeeeeeeea!
How old will you be when you graduate?: Apparently this was written by Caillou.
What do you wanna be?: a voice actor and writer and artist for film and TV
What is one of your dreams?: I’m rolling a big donut, and this snake in a vest….
Where will you be in 25 years?: On Io, mining for cadmium for our reptilian masters…with an onion tied to my belt.

[ Have You Ever ]
Drank?: Yes to all in this section.
Smoked?:
Had sex?:
Stolen?:
Wanted to die?:
Hit someone?:

[ Other ]
Do you write in cursive or print?: Haha – you said cursive.
Are you a lefty or a righty?: depends.
What is your sexual preference?: the girls.
What piercings do you have?: None
Any tattoos?: I have a full body tattoo of myself
Do you drive?: Only when I’m in a car.
Do you have glasses or braces?: I have glass braces.

[ Physical Appearance ]
What do you most like about your body?: The fact that I’m rightside out.
And least?: That it’s susceptible to injury and disease and aging. Cut it out, body!
How many fillings do you have?: Just one – Boston creme. Oh you mean in my TEETH? Oh! Two. Boston Creme.
Do you think you’re good looking?: Depends on the lighting and how drunk you are.
Do other people often tell you that you’re good-looking?: No. But you should see the other guy!!
Do you look like any celebrities?: Somebody told me Harrison Ford but I think that’s crazy. My dad looks like a little like Petr Cepek so I will probably end up doing likewise.

[ Fashion ]
Do you wear a watch?: I have a pocketwatch that is broken and has been for years.
How many coats and jackets do you own?: More than I wear. Want some?
Favorite pants/skirt color?: Army green.
Most treasured?: Army pants
What kind of shoes do you wear?: Converse all-stars. What else?
Describe your style in one word: No.

Oh, the blackberries I picked today! Don’t even try to imagine it, because you can’t. What’s that? You can’t help but try? Oh alright – well then imagine me, Janet, Brian and Dominic driving out to Abbotsford, passing Kraus Brothers Farms and having to turn around at the Yarrow exit, driving back, and signs where the ‘O’s were made to look like berries, and therefor were darker than the other letters so that from far away they seemed to spell SHIRTCAKE. Imagine also sneaking into the strawberry patch, and the hot sun beating down on us, and planes in formation passing overhead as part of the Abbotsford Air Show, and my SHREK popcorn bucket (free with combo at Capitol 6) filling up quickly with plump blackberries. Imagine me going through Janet’s entire oven pot of berries to get a little white spider out.

Now that you’re finished imagining all of that, imagine Ted Danson wearing a too-large phallic, animatronic capybara hat designed by Henson Studios, canoeing around and around a backyard swimming pool filled with blood.

On our trip, we learned a valuable lesson about trying to fit four people and several bucketfuls of berries into Brian’s exterminator truck. The lesson was: don’t. Especially when it’s really hot out and especially especially you’re driving more than a few blocks of clear traffic. For the curious among you, the trip to Vancouver from Abbotsford on a Sunday evening during the Abbotsford Airshow constitutes more than a few blocks of clear traffic. It constitutes legions of blocks of congested traffic. Yvonne’s ear-congested.

Speaking of ear, prior to all of this berrydactyl madness, we went to the Congee House on Broadway & Main for breakfast/lunch, which I call lunkfast, and there we met up with Yvonne and Tynan and had some exotic foodstuffs which you can read about on Y’s blog. The 1000-year old egg was touted as dire, but in fact it was not too bad. It was just like regular (duck) egg, but with more alarming textures and colours. And I had congee for the first time. It truly was like rice porridge, which I’m sure I would love as much as Yvonne if in fact I was a big fan of porridge or cream of wheat or tapioca or rice. As it is I am only a moderately-sized fan of all of those (perhaps more so of rice).

On Ursula’s advice I have purchased bananas and juice for the construction of some blackberry smoothies a little later.