Yvonne & Marlo conspire to keep me from my work

“Come on, get going, you time-wasting bastards” – Bernard Black

[ Basics ]
Name: Mr Super Long Survey Taker
Do you like it?: I despise it like my own son
Nicknames: Toren McBoren MacBin, Hermiston Melons, Dungeon Master, Mr Owen E Worm, Nerot-hotep, Tory
Screen names: thickets
Birthday: June 28 1970
Sign: Help Wanted
Location: Vancouver
School: Crazy Go Nuts University.
Status: Single
Crush: Jayna.
Virgin?: Only my drinks.
Natural hair color: my hair is like a halo of mouse-brown fire
Current hair color: indescribable, like the colour out of space. But if I had to describe it – sloth moss green.
Eye color: green.
Height: 5’9″ apparently
Birthplace: Winterpeg, Manitoba
Shoe size: 10.5
Bra size: I guess I should find this out.

[ Family ]
Parents: Yes.
Siblings: Merrick my oldest and eldest brother.
Live with: In order of most furry to least furry: Kodos and Stewie.
Favorite relative: Uncle Harry

[ Favorites ]
Number: 2.
Color: madder.
Day: Saturday morning.
Month: Smarch, despite the lousy weather
Song: Some guy did a remix of the Superfriends theme song, and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
Movie: Spaceship Zero
Food: licorice; hot mustard/horseradish.
Band: Nomeansno.
Season: Ausprwinsumtumner
Sport: Tennis
Teacher: I forget his name.
Drink: Bubble Tea
Veggie: Umm…killer tomatoes?
TV Show: Superfriends meet the Real Ghostbusters
Radio Station: Emergency Broadcast System
Store: I give up.
Word: Either Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia or poo.
Animal: architeuthis dux
Flower: venus fly trap
State: Denial.

[ This or That ]
Me/You: Both
Coke/pepsi: Henry Weinhardt’s premium draft root beer
Day/night: Night.
Aol/aim: Trillian.
Cd/cassette: Cassettes are more reliable.
Dvd/vhs: VHS are more reliable
Jeans/khakis: khakis
Car/truck: whichever causes the least pollution and noise
Tall/short: short
Lunch/dinner: midnight snack
NSYNC/BSB: Ashley Angel from O-Town
Britney/Christina: Peaches
Gap/Old Navy: Gap.
Lipstick/Lipgloss: Au naturale.
Silver/Gold: Brass.
Alcohol/Weed: qualuudes.

[ Love and Relationships ]
Do you have a bf/gf?: not yet
Do you have a crush?: no
How long have you liked him/her?: forever
Why do you like this person: because they don’t exist.
If you’re single… why are you single?: I’m going to have to call B.O. on this one.
If you’re not single… give details: No, YOU give details!
How long was your longest relationship?: longer than a year but shorter than two.
How long was your shortest relationship?: several weeks?
Who was your first love?: I don’t know
What do you miss about them?: the knife-throwing.

[ The Past ]
What is the one thing you would change about your past?: I would make it shorter.
Last thing you heard: noisy cars with misaligned wheels
Last thing you saw: Last thing you saw:
Last thing you said: Bye bye
Who is the last person you saw?: Yvonne
Who is the last person you kissed?: Kirsten
Who is the last person you hugged?: Yvonne
Who is the last person you fought with?: Tinessa – but there were no fists.
Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: Marlo
What is the last TV show you saw?: Ren & Stimpy (on tape)
What is the last song you heard?: Oh, uh…I’m going to have to say Massive Attack “Teardrops on the Fire” in Andria’s car because I don’t remember the actual last song.
[ The Present ]
What are you wearing?: Holy smokes these questions are getting boring
What are you doing?: yawn
Who are you talking to?: Okay I’m going to start making up my own questions because that’s the only way this is going to hold my interest…
What song are you listening to?: When’s the last time you peed in the shower? Sometimes you gotta get when the gettin’s good.
Where are you?: What was your last D&D character class? Wizard/monk fashioned after the main hero in Volcano High.
Are you online?: What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you? I went through high school. Also I was attacked by a blind doberman pinscher.
How are you feeling?: What’s the last thing you had a big fight about? I’m not sure – probably something about not making enough sacrifices.
Are you in a chatroom?: Whose the last really good friend in your life that you don’t have any sort of contact with anymore? Tinessa

[ Future ]
What day is it tomorrow?: What day are you most looking forward to? Could be Tuesday.
What are you going to do after this?: What do you hope to accomplish the most this week? Get my bank balance up to a healthy level, if possible.
Who are you going to talk to?: Tony. REDRUM! REDRUM!
Where are you going to go?: Under the sea, under the sea! There’ll be no accusations, just friendly crustaceans under the seeeeeeeeeeea!
How old will you be when you graduate?: Apparently this was written by Caillou.
What do you wanna be?: a voice actor and writer and artist for film and TV
What is one of your dreams?: I’m rolling a big donut, and this snake in a vest….
Where will you be in 25 years?: On Io, mining for cadmium for our reptilian masters…with an onion tied to my belt.

[ Have You Ever ]
Drank?: Yes to all in this section.
Had sex?:
Wanted to die?:
Hit someone?:

[ Other ]
Do you write in cursive or print?: Haha – you said cursive.
Are you a lefty or a righty?: depends.
What is your sexual preference?: the girls.
What piercings do you have?: None
Any tattoos?: I have a full body tattoo of myself
Do you drive?: Only when I’m in a car.
Do you have glasses or braces?: I have glass braces.

[ Physical Appearance ]
What do you most like about your body?: The fact that I’m rightside out.
And least?: That it’s susceptible to injury and disease and aging. Cut it out, body!
How many fillings do you have?: Just one – Boston creme. Oh you mean in my TEETH? Oh! Two. Boston Creme.
Do you think you’re good looking?: Depends on the lighting and how drunk you are.
Do other people often tell you that you’re good-looking?: No. But you should see the other guy!!
Do you look like any celebrities?: Somebody told me Harrison Ford but I think that’s crazy. My dad looks like a little like Petr Cepek so I will probably end up doing likewise.

[ Fashion ]
Do you wear a watch?: I have a pocketwatch that is broken and has been for years.
How many coats and jackets do you own?: More than I wear. Want some?
Favorite pants/skirt color?: Army green.
Most treasured?: Army pants
What kind of shoes do you wear?: Converse all-stars. What else?
Describe your style in one word: No.

4 Replies to “Yvonne & Marlo conspire to keep me from my work”

  1. My god, who invents these surveys? Why are there questions about everything except Tibet? I prefer your questions, shower peeing is more intriguing.

    It even rhymes.

  2. What happens on Tuesday that you’re most looking forward to?
    Is archetiuthus dux a bat?
    And come on, we all wanted to know what you were wearing. Giv’r.

  3. Mar: Well the story goes that my Uncle Harry was cornered by a crazy moose in his barn, and shot it in the head just before it mauled him. I don’t know how much of that story is true but I was there when they were burning the ticks off of the moose-corpse.
    Michelle: I should talk all of these surveys I’ve done and merge them into the definitive survey that everyone does once and then THAT’S THE END OF IT.
    Y:Tuesday was to be my next date but now it might be Sunday, though I am also looking forward to D&D on Thursday even though I’m not ready for it; Archeteuthis dux is the giant squid; Last night when I wrote that I was wearing the clothes you saw me in. Now I’m wearing my luxurious purple velvet bathrobe that makes me feel like a king. It would make a king feel like a nutty kookoo super-king.

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