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Toren’s Guide to Star Trek: Voyager Season 1

Q help me, I’m forcing myself to watch Star Trek: Voyager. Resistance is….pending.

Click here for Season 2
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CARETAKER Parts 1 and 2

Strangely for a ship that was part of the United Federation of Planets – a coalition of over 150 worlds – they had to go into another quadrant to integrate some non-humans into their crew. There is a scene with Quark to offer fan service to DS9 viewers. An alien transports a maquis ship and Voyager to the Delta Quadrant and puts them in an anachronistic farm setting so as to keep the show budget reasonable. Certainly not to make the humans feel at home since it more resembles the 20th century than the 24th century. The alien caretaker wants someone to take over his shitty job but can’t find anyone. Janeway destroys the array that summoned them rather than use it to get them home. That makes the nasty Kazon aliens so angry! 6/10

PARALLAX

Not a terrible episode – some interesting crew interaction but a lot of boring technobabble and the usual wormhole/time/multiple ships b.s. 5/10

TIME AND AGAIN

On a barren post-apocalyptic planet Janeway and Paris get sent back in time and are hounded by a child who neglects to be shot by ruthless protesters wearing rainbow corsets. Kes can sense minds through time and gets a bunch of stuff wrong. Interesting if predictable twist ending. 6.5/10

PHAGE

Neelix disobeys orders like a dummy and has his lungs removed by someone with a medical station hiding in an asteroid. He gets cranky. Then the doctor gets cranky. Then Voyager captures the party responsible and gives them a stern talking to. Kes donates a lung so now Neelix and Kes both only have one lung. I’m sure they’ll be fine running about for the rest of the 6 seasons though. This ep introduces the Vidiians who will will get to know over the next little while. 7/10 including a bonus point for the phage makeup.

THE CLOUD

Boring. Pointless. Prosaic. 3/10

EYE OF THE NEEDLE

In “Eye of the Needle” the crew finds a wormhole that goes to the Alpha Quadrant! HOORAY! Oh no it’s too small for the ship to go into. BOOOOO. Oh but wait we can send a probe through and contact someone. YAY! Oh but it’s a Romulan and they’re the enemy BOOOO. Oh but he’s going to help us and send our letters to our loved ones YAY! Oh no the other side of the wormhole and the Romulan are from the past BOOOOO. I liked this episode! 7/10

EX POST FACTO

For a somewhat ridiculous film noir-esque murder mystery involving aliens with terrible feather wigs this actually wasn’t bad. 6/10.

EMANATIONS

This episode had some good ideas but didn’t take it far enough. I try to imagine this as a TNG episode and would I like it then? It seems like this would be a season 6 or 7 episode. Weak in some places that it matters. 5/10.

PRIME FACTORS

Interesting ideas. Star Trekky in a perhaps-slightly-too-comfortable-but-only-just kind of way. Interesting dynamics with Seska vs Torres. Good acting with Mulgrew at the end. 6/10, but I don’t feel the need to ever watch this episode again. Still, better than I could do.

STATE OF FLUX

Voyager “State of Flux” Is Seska a Cardassian? If she is, is it bad? Is she giving technology to the Kazon? Is Kazon hair made out of papier mache? No colorful space clouds in this one, so it gets a thumbs up, even though something about Seska weirds me out. I don’t buy her and Chakotay having a romantic history together. 6/10

HEROES AND DEMONS

Season 1 ep 12 “Heroes and Demons.” Yes it’s time for a ‘holodeck safeties are off’ episode! It’s a doctor-heavy episode so that’s a good thing, but it’s also a medieval LARP. So turns out that Voyager has captured some living light creatures which hide out in the holodeck and integrate with the Beowulf program. Also the doctor chooses the name “Schweitzer” but by the end of the episode he doesn’t like it. 5/10

CATHEXIS

In episode 13 “Cathexis” we renew the trope of aliens possessing crew members and trying to take control of the ship. Very forgettable episode. 5/10

FACES

I like the idea of the phage but this episode makes no sense. I could see them taking the klingon DNA out of Torres to make a fully human version, or vice versa – but two B’Elannas? One is aggressive and not-so-clever while the other one is more clever but cowardly. Silly! But at least one of the Voyager crew members was killed and their face was put on an alien. That’s fun! 5/10

JETREL

The guy who played Worf’s grown son and Odo’s father is back as an analog of the scientist who invented the atom bomb that was dropped on Hiroshima. Neelix gets angry. Then he gets sad. Then angry again. Interesting idea executed in a ham-handed fashion. 5/10

LEARNING CURVE

Tuvok takes on some maquis ne’er-do-wells in this episode that finally addresses the fact that there are two incompatible crews working together. Meanwhile, cheese has infected the computer’s circuitry because why not? One of my favourite episodes so far. Wish we saw more of these crewmembers after this ep. 7.3/10

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Toren's Resto Rants 10: Volcano Sushi

Yes! It’s not just a phase! Or if it is a phase, here’s an extension to the phase!”

Volcano Sushi (Commercial Drive)

Their blurb: “Volcano Sushi is a cornerstone in the Vancouver community and has been recognized for its outstanding Japanese & Asian cuisine, Sushi, and excellent service and friendly staff”

MENU

Address: 1861 Commercial Dr
Phone: 604-676-8809
Open 11:30am-10pm weekdays, 12-10pm weekends
Booths? Yes!
When I dined: Weekday evening and weekend
Noisy? No
Candies with your bill? No

I live close to here so I’ve been a few times, including takeout. I really should stop doing takeout. There’s so much waste, especially with sushi restaurants — plastic, styrofoam, chopsticks, packets of sauce. Oi! Okay, BUT…with regards to takeout they do offer online ordering. So at least all that waste is convenient to make. On the other hand they do NOT give you disposable chopsticks in the restaurant, so that’s a plus for good old planet Earth.

So this restaurant is fairly small. Service is hit and miss. One time my water was refilled promptly, another time I had no refill throughout the entire meal. Their food is decent, not great. Of all the times I’ve been there, there haven’t really been any standout dishes. That said, the dishes seem reasonably priced, portion size seems good, and the lady I usually go here with knows more about sushi and she keeps coming back, so it can’t be too bad. They seem like nice folks and they have never been rude.

Oh, also – they have a giant neon sign and it spreads red light all over the tables at the front of the dining area. If you like the feeling of being in an adult theater while you eat, choose these tables.

Biggest Rave: They’re open every day of the week until 10pm.

Biggest Rant: Banana tempura ice cream was on the menu. I ordered it. They said it was not available. But I wanted it. But I couldn’t have it.

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Resto Rants Volume 9: Miura Waffle Milk Bar

Sando me? Sando YOU!

Miura Waffle Milk Bar

Miura interior
Miura interior

Their blurb: “We offer fresh, made-to-order savory and sweet waffle sandos with flavoured yoggy milks and milkshakes for drinks. If you are an adventurous foodie just like us, you will enjoy our signature savoury waffle sandos like “Hoisin Sausage”, or “Wasabi Salmon”. We use fresh ingredients for all items in the menu and make almost everything in the house. ”

MENU

miura cutlery Address:  2521 Main St, Vancouver, BC V5T 3E5
Phone: (604) 687-2909
10am to 10pm every day except closed at 9pm on Sunday.
Booths? Single long bench seat along one wall.
When I dined: weekday lunch
Noisy? No. They played a top 40 radio station but not too loudly.
Lives up to its name? Yes you will be barred from milking the waffles.
Candies with your bill? No.

I enjoy sweet waffles. I enjoy chicken regularly. The idea of savory waffle doesn’t appeal to me, and I feel the same way about chicken & waffles as I do about chicken on pizza – it’s weird and not for me. That said, I am always open to trying new things and this venue is definitely one of a kind in Vancouver.

So in this place they make sandwiches where the bread is a waffle. They call them “sandos.” Weird, right? I have been in this establishment three times as of this writing and tried something new each time. I’ve had the bananarama, the BLT and most recently the hoisin. Of the three I actually liked the hoisin best – it was like a Vietnamese sub with a waffle. I think they forgot to put the pork sausage on my sando but I actually didn’t care – it was quite good the way it came.

They also have milkshakes and yogurt drinks, with the option of adding booze! Recently (to my knowledge) they added the option of adding pearls and coconut jelly to the drinks. As a bubble tea connoisseur I was very excited about this. I kind of love this place and will be coming back to try more stuff off the menu.

Service was friendly enough and fairly prompt.

Ok so there's a two syllable word 'sandwich' which had two more syllables added in Japanese, and you shortened it back into a different two syllable word. Good for you!
Ok so there’s a two syllable word ‘sandwich’ which had two more syllables added in Japanese, and you shortened it back into a different two syllable word. Good for you!

Biggest Rave: The chocolate wasabi milkshake is amazing. Make it a bubble tea and you’ve stolen my heart forever!

Biggest Rant: Sign says “NO PUBLIC WASHROOM” but there is a washroom, and I used it. It was awkward to get into and when I turned on the light it strobed so intensely I actually had to close my eyes while I peed. It was like a very tiny rave without the other good stuff.

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Toren's Resto Rants Volume 8: New Spicy Chili

From the restaurant reviewer who can’t handle spicy food comes…

New Spicy Chili interior
New Spicy Chili interior

New Spicy Chili Restaurant

Their blurb: No website. No blurb. No fun.

No Online Menu Available

Address: 4200 No 3 Rd #160, Richmond, BC V6X 2C2
Phone: (604) 273-3388
Open 11:30am to 9:30pm except Fri, Sat, Sun open until 10pm.
Booths? No
Noisy? Nope. Not even any music.
Candies with your bill? Negative.
When I dined: Sunday afternoon.

What a facade!
What a facade!

Do you like menus that have giant photos of the food? Photos that are so big you can only fit 3 to 5 items on a page? This might be the restaurant for you!

My date chose this restaurant because we were in Richmond and she was craving dandan noodles. Almost everything in the menu had at least one little chili icon beside it, sometimes up to 3 of them. Since I can’t handle capsaicin spice, it was a challenge to find something that wasn’t scary to me. I also wanted to order a dish that was under $16 (all of the items on the menu had little stickers for prices – they had obviously altered the original menu prices). Also, some items on the menu had prices only in Chinese, which I cannot read. The food seemed overly expensive but I managed to find a noodle dish for about ten bucks that had no chili icon and I verbally confirmed with the server was not spicy.

We did not wait long for our food, and it was actually quite tasty. My co-eater (a term of endearment) also enjoyed her spicy noodles. I had very low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. If I enjoyed spicy food I think I would have had a better experience.

As expected, there are no smiles or pleasantness in the service here. Also the server’s phone was constantly going off in her pocket. I read a review on another site that the server chased down someone trying to leave because they didn’t leave a big enough tip. I guess that’s one way to run a successful business?

I did appreciate the dearth of disposable chopsticks. Hooray future of planet Earth!

Biggest Rave: At no time during our dining experience were was there more than three tables occupied. Apart from the obnoxious phone ringer in the server’s pocket it was very peaceful.

Biggest Rant: This place is cash only, unless your bill is $60 or more. Which, if you order more than three items is likely. Since most of my friends don’t carry cash, this is a huge drawback. Might return to try some other dish. Maybe. Probably not.

Fun stuffed chilis hanging in the corner.
Fun stuffed chilis hanging in the corner.

Enjoyed this review? Check out all my Vancouver restaurant reviews at http://www.thickets.net/toren/category/resto-rants/