The problem with dates is that I never know when to stop eating them before it’s too late. Far far too late. Eugh.

PHASE TWO: Mwahhahah! My cunning plan has already started to blossom. Jeff and Michael have already received their special mail. Oh the fun…the fun I say! More details to follow.

Enterprise Episodes PART TWO

Silent Enemy 012 An ill-prepared Enterprise is under attack by mysterious aliens with unknown motivations.

I like this episode. It contains aliens that the crew can’t interact with. Behold the unfathomable mysteries of space. Yes please.

Dear Doctor 013 Dr. Phlox faces a serious dilemma as a dying race begs for help from Enterprise.

Another good episode, we get to see what Starfleet was like before the prime directive. Nicely done. The doctor is my favourite character.

Sleeping Dogs 015 T’Pol, Reed and Hoshi get stranded on a Klingon “shipwreck” sinking inside a gas giant. Archer tries to convince a captured Klingon to help before his crewmates get crushed in the intense pressure of the planet’s atmosphere.

One of my favourites. There’s not many twists or suprises but it’s just generally a very cool episode.

Shadows of P’Jem 014 When T’Pol is ordered by her superiors to leave Enterprise, she goes on one last away mission with Archer to planet Coridan, where they are taken captive by a militant faction and once again encounter the volatile Andorians.

Has it’s problems, but the Andorians show up at the end and make it all worthwhile. I was so happy to see the Andorians back on Star Trek. They’ve been ignored all through Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager and the movies.

Shuttlepod One 016 During a shuttlepod mission, Tucker and Reed are cut off from Enterprise and become convinced the starship has been destroyed and that their days are numbered.

I actually didn’t see this one.

Fusion
017 A group of atypical Vulcans visiting Enterprise subject T’Pol to uncomfortable new ideas.

I like the idea of Vulcans who aren’t very Vulcan (for a reason, as opposed to the Vulcans we’ve been seeing up to now). The episode had the kind of gay (not in the good way) namby-pamby bullshit you get with a Troi-centric TNG episode, but not as bad as all that.

Rogue Planet 018 While exploring an uncharted planet, Enterprise crew members encounter a group of aliens who are hunting down indigenous creatures for recreation.

Yawn. Encountering hunters on an alien world is a nice, relatively unexplored idea, but the whole “alien who can access your subconscious and create a beautiful girl for you to interact with” is tired and old.

Acquisition 019 When the Ferengi, a group of intergalactic thieves, stun the Enterprise crew and try to rob the ship, it’s up to Trip to work covertly to stop them.

Yays: Space pirates!!! Huzzah! Jeffrey Combs as a ferengi! Ferengi whips! Boos: OK – first contact with ferengi was in TNG – am I supposed to believe that Data and the rest of them just forgot about one of the encounters of the first Enterprise.

Oasis 020 The crew is directed to a derelict ship on a barren planet that they can salvage for supplies, and learn that rumors the shipwreck is haunted may not be unfounded.

Well I like a space mystery as much as the next guy, I guess. Boos: Alien men wear pants, alien women wear skirts. Parallel evolution I guess. “Vulcan’s don’t imagine things” – what a crock!

Detained
021 Archer and Mayweather are detained by the Tandarans in a Suliban internment camp. Learning of the Suliban’s persecution by the Tandarans, Archer enlists the aid of Enterprise and his crew to look past their own prejudices and free the wrongfully imprisone

Not a bad concept. The fact that the crew had to deal with alien bureaucracy was surprisingly cool.

Vox Sola 022 When a strange, symbiotic alien creature boards Enterprise and captures several crew members, it’s up to Hoshi to decipher the creature’s complex language.

I thought this episode was going to be good (weird inhumanoid alien) but it turned out to be typically Star Trek. Next time a monster comes on board, have it EAT SOMEONE!!!

Fallen Hero 023 Archer is ordered to transport Vulcan Ambassador V’Lar, an early role model of T’Pol’s, from a planet where her integrity has been called into question.

A surprisingly well done episode.

Desert Crossing 024 When Archer and Trip are invited to a desert-like planet by an alien leader, they discover he is a terrorist who has lured them there under false pretenses.

Not bad. Seeing Clancy Brown was nice.

Two Days and Two Nights 025 Shore leave takes an interesting twist for the lucky few who are able to take some time off on Risa, the famous pleasure planet. Archer, Trip and Reed all have mysterious encounters with females who may not be all they appear.

Worst episode ever.

Shockwave, Part I-II 026 After apparently causing the obliteration of an alien colony, Enterprise is ordered to return to Earth, until a surprise visitor offers Archer startling evidence about what really happened…

Not bad. I like this storyline.

Carbon Creek 027 T’Pol’s recollection of the Vulcans’ first encounter with humans conflicts with what Archer and Trip learned from history books.

I think they should make a Star Trek sitcom with three Vulcans trying to adjust to 1950’s America, with a Klingon who comes in once an episode and yells “Aaaaaaaaaay!” or “Dy-no-mite!”

Today is my grandfather’s 87th birthday. Happy Birthday Gramps!

To celebrate my grandpa’s birthday (and the new season of TV shows, of which I actually watch very few) I would like to take a nerdy moment and look at past Enterprise episodes. (Blame Kathryn for this)

PART ONE

Broken Bow
001 The Enterprise crew sets on a maiden voyage with a mission to return a wounded Klingon to his people.

Yays: The suliban and their tech is cool. Dr. Phlox is great. Using the grappler in combat was inspired. Thank gawd there’s no spandex. Boos: What is with the Vulcan’s being so emotional? What is with T’Pol’s “action wear”? Traditional robes aren’t good enough? Also, gratuitous hard-nippled seminaked rubdowns is laughable. They show Klingon blood as being dark red, it’s been previously shown that it should be pink.

Fight or Flight
003 The crew comes across an abandoned ship of dead aliens.

Yays: Corpses on hooks. Universal translators that don’t work. Alien ships drilling into the hull not with a laser, but with a big fuckin’ drill.

Strange New World
004 Crew members go on a survey mission to a seemingly uninhabited Earth-like planet where a mysterious alien presence sends them into a state of paranoid overdrive.

Yays: Alien mind-affecting spores.

Unexpected
005 After discovering the presence of a damaged alien vessel, Archer dispatches Tucker to its aid, but the engineer’s encounter with a Xyrillian female has an unexpected side effect.

Having to go through hours of environmental acclimatization before going onto an alien ship is something we should see more of. I’m tired of everything between alien species being compatible. “I can see my house from here” – Klingon captain.

Terra Nova
006 Archer and the Enterprise crew set out to learn what happened to the lost human colony of Terra Nova, and discover a tribe of human-hating cave dwellers.

Boo! This episode is lame.

The Andorian Incident
007 When Archer and his crew pay a friendly visit to an ancient Vulcan monastery, they stumble into an interstellar conflict between the Vulcans and their militaristic rivals, the Andorians.

Fantastic episode – this is the kind of stuff I hoped for when I heard about Enterprise. Jeffrey Combs as the head Andorian, nothin’ to complain about there!

Breaking the Ice
008 While the Enterprise crew researches a newly discovered comet, Archer tries to deal diplomatically with a Vulcan ship that is suspiciously watching them.

Well done episode but kind of dull. I liked the way Vulcans were portrayed, except that at the end of a meal one of them was visibly upset. Vulcans certainly seem to be letting their disciplines drop in this series.

Civilization
009 The Enterprise crew encounters a pre-industrial society that is afflicted with a plague caused by exploitative secret visitors.

This is one of those lame typical Star Trek episodes where the humans go undercover as another species. I think we can all agree that we’ve had enough of these.

Fortunate Son
010 Enterprise must intervene when the leader of a human freighter crew sets out for revenge against alien pirates.

Yay! Space pirates preying on cargo ships – this is what space is all about! It was great to see Nausicans again.

Cold Front
011 While Enterprise joins an alien pilgrimage to witness a religious stellar occurrence, Archer finds himself again faced against the Suliban warrior Silik.

Pretty good episode.

…more to come….

Two of my three closest friends I have known less than nine months and five months, respectively. Please God don’t take them away from me in some cruel ironic manner.

Here’s a trailer for a French animated film called Les Triplettes de Belleville. It starts of interesting and then…it gets more interesting. I’d like to see it.

If the twits in Washington renamed French fries “Freedom Fries”, does that mean they’ve renamed France “Freeland”?

I’m listening to the Weakerthans. Ang Hold made me a mixed CD. I’m enjoying it (even though the singer sounds like Robin (Kermit’s nephew) in a song or two). Likely I’ll see them this Thursday at the Commodore. This may mean that I have to blow off Mutants and Masterminds (again) – Theo will be so mad. But I’ll make it up to him…somehow.

I came up with two more possible band names: Metazoic. Kinda dull but I like it; *ahem* is the other one. That’s right, *ahem*. I posted the band name question to the many fine cultists at hillsidethickets@yahoogroups, and got some interesting suggestions:

My Other Band (these 8 from “Latex”)
Pantiless Cartwheels
Projectile Dysfunction
N’SUCK
Spongy Cavernous Tissue
Tossed Salad
Yenta
Yet Another Boy Band
Penfold’s Glasses (Jason Averill)
Metaphysical Abuse? (Scott Wells)
The MacBin Project?
Dog Almighty
The Arcatuthus Sound?
the hopping fishfrogs (or just fishfrog) (Craig)
Globster!
The Abdul Alhazred Project
Ash to Ashes
Ogopogo
Mega Danger Mouth (William R Porter)
Wendi-a-go-go
Not your average Cult Band
Hastur Sewing Circle of Death
Transcription Error (Tim Emrick)
Band in a Jar
Metempsychosis
Plutonian Speech Machine
Off the Top of My Head (or “OTTOMH”)
Satan Ghost (Daniel Chaves)
Colussus of Toads (Joseph)
Papal Bull
Cthatholic Dance Party
Furry Elise
Perl Necklace
MC Ultra and His Majestic 12 (Atruwe)

Czar of Scrabble

The goddamn swimming pool was closed! Closed for renovations or some such tomfoolery. So instead of swimming, Ang Hold, Ian and I went to 7-11 and I got a bag of penny candy (what they call five cent candy these days). My favourites are the marshmallow bananas and the licorice babies. Then we came back to Ang Hold’s where she did my hair up blue-green, and we played Scrabble. I came in 2nd. I used a Z and a C in the same word, on a double word score. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Oh yeah – Chris Woods and I (in the form of one of Chris’ paintings) are on the cover of Common Ground this week (month? – I have no idea how often it comes out).

I don’t like the way Blogger has taken to asking me my username and pw each time I want to post. It didn’t use to do that. I’ll be in the anger dome if you need me.

Be that as it may, I’m done my drawing for the night, and it’s only 12:41 am. I feel the sleep bees creeping up on me with their stingers of drowse, but not yet my pets…no, not yet. There’s nothing to do on the internet, so I thought I’d write some, even though practically nothing happened to me today. I had no interesting thoughts, I did no interesting activities. I made hummous. Boring. Oh, I know – I’ll tell you about my dream:

I came out of a building (a movie theater) and I looked to the sky. There was no sun. There were no clouds and no blue openness. All of that was blocked out by a vast dull grey metal ceiling, with various flat mechanical bits & bolts shewing that it was obviously constructed. There was a highway that led off into the distance (and possibly a car) so I left the person I was with to try to discern how far the dome went. Not long, I arrived (possibly by car) to the edge of the dome, and there was a door. I opened the door, and there was a room with two workmen going about their business. I asked what was going on with the dome. They told me that the sun had gotten too bright, and that if they hadn’t put the dome up, everyone would be blinded. They gave me these protective goggles, like welder’s goggles, and let me go out another door that led to the outside world. I put them on and went out. It was really bright. I explored what seemed to be a tenuously deserted world, climbing up to a wall of abandoned machines and vehicles, large tires perhaps.

Hearing about other people’s dreams is usually pretty boring, I find. I was telling Ang Hold about this dream (and another one) this morning, while they were fresh in my mind – she asked me if I thought they had any symbolic meaning to me. I don’t really put much stock in the symbolic meaning of dreams, apart from the fact that I am afraid of bears and my penis means a lot to me. I mean, your brain has nothing to think about while you’re sleeping, so it makes its own reality up to play around in. And sure, it has basis in your subconscious –absolutely — but spending time trying to figure out why my mind works the way it does when I’m asleep is like trying to figure out why my mind works the way it does when I’m awake, only harder. In theory it’s an intriguing notion, but have you ever tried to take apart a car while you’re driving it?

I recommend the pina colada flavour. You’ll be surprised by the authentic taste.

Oog. Ang Hold came over, we watched some Eddie Izzard, and I ate way too much crap food. Crap food is even worse than junk food. Oh well – in the next 3 days, swimming is in the stars. That’s kind of a double entendre, but not really.

Slater-boy’s blog brought me back to a classic Strongbad email about coming up with band names. And I mean classic in the classic use of the word. Not the new cheesy use of classic as in “I just found a quarter on the ground, that’s totally classic!” No, no no.

Speaking of emails, I got this one out of the proverbial blue yesterday:

hello um i see that you can draw very good well can you draw umm lets see elfs/elvs and orcs in a war if you can can you please do so becouse i like elfs/elvs and orcs ^_^; and um my emil adress is thundereagle33@aol.com or and my um yahoo E-mail adress is night_elf_boy k oh yah and one more thang can you draw a night elf you no i want him werring black with red eyes with two swords that would be cool and great e_e hehe thanks! please email me back when you can talling me if you can draw them or not!
kool orcs!

Damn Nation is another good band name. I hope it’s not taken.

We got a big box in the mail yesterday. Turns out my roommate’s mom shipped two sacks of potatoes from Prince Edward Island to him to give to his friend’s father.

I think that’s weird.