Wow. Today I put on eBay two old Thickets demo tapes that I found. They’re already up to $52 US. That’s nutty!

First Flight 050 While Enterprise is investigating a nebula, Archer hears that A.G. Robinson, his old rival in the early days of the NX test program, has died.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz… huh? What?

Bounty 051 A Tellarite bounty hunter captures Archer intending to turn him over to the Klingons for a substantial reward.

Definitely a stronger episode. I liked the bounty hunter – he was a good actor under all that makeup. Boos: I thought the comeraderie between them was a bit much. Also – as if the Klingon’s wouldn’t get wise that the handcuffs were ‘fixed.’

The Expanse 052 When a probe from an unknown alien source unleashes a devastating assault upon Earth, Enterprise is recalled, then sent to search for the perpetrators.

Uh yeah, I never saw this one.

The Xindi 053 Captain Archer and his crew set out to gain information about the mysterious and antagonistic Xindi race.

I don’t like where the series is going with this third season. It reminds me too much of Voyager. Anyway, this episode had a good premise. I’m already getting tired of Captain Archer the stern, focussed, badass.

Anomaly 054 Enterprise starts experiencing effects of the spatial distortions pervading the Delphic Expanse, and falls victim to predatory aliens.

I really liked this one. Can you guess why? That’s right – space pirates! They used their transporters in an efficient manner. I like that, it should happen more often. If it were me I’d be transporting robots everywhere that shoot out transporter beacons (like Star Trek: Insurrection). As soon as you fire on a ship and its shields go down, just start transporting big chunks of the ship off into space, or better yet your cargo hold. And transport the crew into the brig. No fussAlso the anomaly business was well done.

Okay that’s it. We are now up to date. I won’t have anything more to say on the subject of Enterprise until next Wednesday at the earliest, I promise.

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Hot on the heels of my grandpa’s birthday – my Grandma is 83 today. I wish Eudora could filter emails by their content rather than having to rely on the “from” or “subject” fields. Spammers are getting awfully clever these days. Oh, how I despise them.

Marauders 032 In need of fuel, Enterprise discovers a mining colony that is being controlled by Klingons who are bullying the inhabitants and hoarding their supplies.

Not a bad episode, if you don’t count T’Pol’s outrageously over-sexy catsuit. And of course, there’s the fact that the aliens look exactly like humans but with funny foreheads.

The Seventh 033 T’Pol is is dispatched by the Vulcan High Command to capture a fugitive that has eluded their authorities for nearly two decades.

Pretty dumb! Captain Archer is a big baby.

The Communicator 034 Reed and Archer retrieve a communicator left behind on an alien planet, but are captured in the process.

Oooh! Ooh ooh! They should have got the Coen Brothers to write/direct this episode. It’s a good premise, they could have made it a lot more entertaining though (though Trip’s arm being partially cloaked was nice). Boos: getting “surgically altered” to pass as aliens.

Singularity 035 On a “typical” day on Enterprise, the crew finds their routine tasks turn into uncharacteristically strange obsessions over trivial matters.

I missed this one.

Vanishing Point 036 Following her first experience in the transporter, a series of eerie events leads Hoshi to question whether she is the same person.

Horrible. Please, no more transporter accidents that result in hour-long plights. Just kill the bastards like in Star Trek the Motion Picture.

Precious Cargo 037 Trip rescues an exotic alien woman from her kidnappers, but ends up on an unexpected romantic adventure.

Sucked!

The Catwalk 038 When a deadly radioactive storm threatens Enterprise, the entire crew must take refuge for eight days in a small maintenance shaft.

Missed this one too.

Dawn 039 Trip is fired upon by a territorial alien and forced to land on the night side of a moon.

Okay, this was done before on TNG a couple of times. If you guys need some ideas, I’ve got a notebook full…

Stigma 040 T’Pol’s standing on Enterprise is threatened when it is learned that she has contracted a deadly disease.

I like the idea that mind melding has a long-term degenerative effect. I also like the idea that not all Vulcans can mind-meld.

Cease Fire 041 When a military conflict erupts between the Vulcans and Andorians, Archer is brought in as negotiator.

Not my favourite Andorian episode, but still, not too bad.

Future Tense 042 Enterprise finds a small craft adrift in space that contains what appears to be a human corpse, one the Suliban and the Tholians both try to retrieve.

Yays: Tholians! Yeah! Mysterious dead guy who is part human, part vulcan, part terrellian, part Rigellian.

Canamar 043 Archer and Tucker are mistakenly arrested and placed on a prisoner transport vessel bound for the penal colony Canamar.

Missed this one too.

The Crossing 044 Enterprise is swallowed by an otherworldly vessel occupied by noncorporeal creatures who seek to trade consciousnesses with the crew members.

Eugh. Typical Star Trek non-corporeal entities that possess humans. Dull dull dull.

Judgment 045 Archer stands accused before a Klingon tribunal of conspiring against the Empire, and faces a lifetime sentence on Rura Penthe.

Even though we’ve seen this in the movies, a Klingon trial is something I think that deems a second look. I like the way they did recreations from the various P.O.V.s, but I wish the Klingon legal system were even more fucked up than they portrayed it. Too many similarities with Earth (and more specifically Western) trials.

I went to high school in Chilliwack with Jordan and Josh Pratt. Jordan drums for The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets. Josh is an artist, like me, but not like me. He listened to Voivod, as I recall. He was also in a band called Eugene’s Axe – they were very heavy and he sang. He also wrote the lyrics to the Thickets song “My Tank” and some of “Slave Ship”. He did a bunch of sketches for the Spaceship Zero cd, and they were all very cool, but when we decided to go with a 1950’s style they suddenly didn’t fit in. I did end up using one, so he got a copy of the book anyway. This is not his resume, I’m just giving you some background before I type this: I was just informed he has art on his website joshpratt.com, so if you like art, go have a look.

Got this email today:

Toren
Hey just saw your blog. You said you might want to name a musical project “Genghis
Tron”…. My band from Maryland is actually called Genghis Tron! how strange. I guess it turned out to be a good name… I dunno if you’d like it…
http://www.geocities.com/genghistron/
Cheers,
Dave Black

Funny! Speaking of, I thought of another band name this morning, Pretending to Sleep.
Also here are more ideas from Jacob Skaaning:
Doctors Without Moral Borders (sounds better in Danish, Læger Uden
Moralske Grænser)
Or what about simply
ÆØÅ (I betcha warren will like that one)
Mungo Mongrel
The Gin Soaked Boys
Popstopper
Beatles 2
Not A Band Name
No, Take This

Flying Mongeese (is that even the right plural for mongoose?)
Megalomanic Minimalists
Flush

Meanwhile, more Enterprise thoughts….

Horizon 046 While Enterprise investigates a planetary phenomenon, Mayweather takes the opportunity to visit the cargo ship where he was born and raised.

Not a bad episode. I like the guy who plays Mayweather but he’s got the most boring character on the show. I guess somebody had to be that boring person.

The Breach 047 Enterprise is asked to evacuate a group of Denobulan geologists from a world that has been taken over by a militant faction.

This episode was pretty dull, except for the bits with Phlox.

Cogenitor 048 Enterprise encounters a race called the Vissians who feature a third sex of “cogenitors” who are treated as second-class citizens.

Missed this one.

Regeneration 049 An arctic research team discovers debris from an alien vessel, buried in a glacier along with the bodies of two cybernetically enhanced humanoids.

Ok, officially I’m against using the Borg in Trek pre-TNG. But unofficially, this episode had my attention all the way through. I guess Braga & co knew this would be the case.

I got another pair of converse in the mail today. I got them on ebay – $28 they cost me, or so. Not bad, considering new ones go for $40-60. These ones are just boring old black though. They’re practically brand new and in case you were curious, it costs $7.65 US to mail a pair of shoes from Los Angeles to Vancouver.

There is great competition developing between researchers – backed by television companies – to catch the first giant squid on camera. No giant squid – also known as Architeuthis dux – has ever been caught in its natural habitat – the great depths under the ocean – as it only ever comes to the surface when dead or dying. Indeed, scientists know more about the dinosaurs than they do about the huge cephalopod.

Meanwhile, more Enterprise episodes get Toren reviewettes:

Minefield 029 Enterprise becomes disabled by an alien orbital mine while trapped in hostile Romulan territory.

This was a fine episode, with two exceptions: angling the shuttlepod hatches in mid-float using only the propulsion from a jet pack would be incredibly difficult; why didn’t they just use the transporter instead?

Dead Stop 031 Enterprise docks with a mysterious high-tech space station which proves too good to be true.

Yay! Something interesting!

A Night in Sickbay 030 Archer spends a fretful night in sickbay with Porthos and Dr. Phlox.

Yays: someone aboard Enterprise picks up a lethal pathogen – FINALLY. Too bad it’s the dog. I thought Archer’s dream sequence with T’Pol was going to be awful, but it was actually quite well done I thought. I especially liked how Phlox’s eulogy during Porthos’ funeral.

The problem with dates is that I never know when to stop eating them before it’s too late. Far far too late. Eugh.

PHASE TWO: Mwahhahah! My cunning plan has already started to blossom. Jeff and Michael have already received their special mail. Oh the fun…the fun I say! More details to follow.

Enterprise Episodes PART TWO

Silent Enemy 012 An ill-prepared Enterprise is under attack by mysterious aliens with unknown motivations.

I like this episode. It contains aliens that the crew can’t interact with. Behold the unfathomable mysteries of space. Yes please.

Dear Doctor 013 Dr. Phlox faces a serious dilemma as a dying race begs for help from Enterprise.

Another good episode, we get to see what Starfleet was like before the prime directive. Nicely done. The doctor is my favourite character.

Sleeping Dogs 015 T’Pol, Reed and Hoshi get stranded on a Klingon “shipwreck” sinking inside a gas giant. Archer tries to convince a captured Klingon to help before his crewmates get crushed in the intense pressure of the planet’s atmosphere.

One of my favourites. There’s not many twists or suprises but it’s just generally a very cool episode.

Shadows of P’Jem 014 When T’Pol is ordered by her superiors to leave Enterprise, she goes on one last away mission with Archer to planet Coridan, where they are taken captive by a militant faction and once again encounter the volatile Andorians.

Has it’s problems, but the Andorians show up at the end and make it all worthwhile. I was so happy to see the Andorians back on Star Trek. They’ve been ignored all through Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager and the movies.

Shuttlepod One 016 During a shuttlepod mission, Tucker and Reed are cut off from Enterprise and become convinced the starship has been destroyed and that their days are numbered.

I actually didn’t see this one.

Fusion
017 A group of atypical Vulcans visiting Enterprise subject T’Pol to uncomfortable new ideas.

I like the idea of Vulcans who aren’t very Vulcan (for a reason, as opposed to the Vulcans we’ve been seeing up to now). The episode had the kind of gay (not in the good way) namby-pamby bullshit you get with a Troi-centric TNG episode, but not as bad as all that.

Rogue Planet 018 While exploring an uncharted planet, Enterprise crew members encounter a group of aliens who are hunting down indigenous creatures for recreation.

Yawn. Encountering hunters on an alien world is a nice, relatively unexplored idea, but the whole “alien who can access your subconscious and create a beautiful girl for you to interact with” is tired and old.

Acquisition 019 When the Ferengi, a group of intergalactic thieves, stun the Enterprise crew and try to rob the ship, it’s up to Trip to work covertly to stop them.

Yays: Space pirates!!! Huzzah! Jeffrey Combs as a ferengi! Ferengi whips! Boos: OK – first contact with ferengi was in TNG – am I supposed to believe that Data and the rest of them just forgot about one of the encounters of the first Enterprise.

Oasis 020 The crew is directed to a derelict ship on a barren planet that they can salvage for supplies, and learn that rumors the shipwreck is haunted may not be unfounded.

Well I like a space mystery as much as the next guy, I guess. Boos: Alien men wear pants, alien women wear skirts. Parallel evolution I guess. “Vulcan’s don’t imagine things” – what a crock!

Detained
021 Archer and Mayweather are detained by the Tandarans in a Suliban internment camp. Learning of the Suliban’s persecution by the Tandarans, Archer enlists the aid of Enterprise and his crew to look past their own prejudices and free the wrongfully imprisone

Not a bad concept. The fact that the crew had to deal with alien bureaucracy was surprisingly cool.

Vox Sola 022 When a strange, symbiotic alien creature boards Enterprise and captures several crew members, it’s up to Hoshi to decipher the creature’s complex language.

I thought this episode was going to be good (weird inhumanoid alien) but it turned out to be typically Star Trek. Next time a monster comes on board, have it EAT SOMEONE!!!

Fallen Hero 023 Archer is ordered to transport Vulcan Ambassador V’Lar, an early role model of T’Pol’s, from a planet where her integrity has been called into question.

A surprisingly well done episode.

Desert Crossing 024 When Archer and Trip are invited to a desert-like planet by an alien leader, they discover he is a terrorist who has lured them there under false pretenses.

Not bad. Seeing Clancy Brown was nice.

Two Days and Two Nights 025 Shore leave takes an interesting twist for the lucky few who are able to take some time off on Risa, the famous pleasure planet. Archer, Trip and Reed all have mysterious encounters with females who may not be all they appear.

Worst episode ever.

Shockwave, Part I-II 026 After apparently causing the obliteration of an alien colony, Enterprise is ordered to return to Earth, until a surprise visitor offers Archer startling evidence about what really happened…

Not bad. I like this storyline.

Carbon Creek 027 T’Pol’s recollection of the Vulcans’ first encounter with humans conflicts with what Archer and Trip learned from history books.

I think they should make a Star Trek sitcom with three Vulcans trying to adjust to 1950’s America, with a Klingon who comes in once an episode and yells “Aaaaaaaaaay!” or “Dy-no-mite!”

Today is my grandfather’s 87th birthday. Happy Birthday Gramps!

To celebrate my grandpa’s birthday (and the new season of TV shows, of which I actually watch very few) I would like to take a nerdy moment and look at past Enterprise episodes. (Blame Kathryn for this)

PART ONE

Broken Bow
001 The Enterprise crew sets on a maiden voyage with a mission to return a wounded Klingon to his people.

Yays: The suliban and their tech is cool. Dr. Phlox is great. Using the grappler in combat was inspired. Thank gawd there’s no spandex. Boos: What is with the Vulcan’s being so emotional? What is with T’Pol’s “action wear”? Traditional robes aren’t good enough? Also, gratuitous hard-nippled seminaked rubdowns is laughable. They show Klingon blood as being dark red, it’s been previously shown that it should be pink.

Fight or Flight
003 The crew comes across an abandoned ship of dead aliens.

Yays: Corpses on hooks. Universal translators that don’t work. Alien ships drilling into the hull not with a laser, but with a big fuckin’ drill.

Strange New World
004 Crew members go on a survey mission to a seemingly uninhabited Earth-like planet where a mysterious alien presence sends them into a state of paranoid overdrive.

Yays: Alien mind-affecting spores.

Unexpected
005 After discovering the presence of a damaged alien vessel, Archer dispatches Tucker to its aid, but the engineer’s encounter with a Xyrillian female has an unexpected side effect.

Having to go through hours of environmental acclimatization before going onto an alien ship is something we should see more of. I’m tired of everything between alien species being compatible. “I can see my house from here” – Klingon captain.

Terra Nova
006 Archer and the Enterprise crew set out to learn what happened to the lost human colony of Terra Nova, and discover a tribe of human-hating cave dwellers.

Boo! This episode is lame.

The Andorian Incident
007 When Archer and his crew pay a friendly visit to an ancient Vulcan monastery, they stumble into an interstellar conflict between the Vulcans and their militaristic rivals, the Andorians.

Fantastic episode – this is the kind of stuff I hoped for when I heard about Enterprise. Jeffrey Combs as the head Andorian, nothin’ to complain about there!

Breaking the Ice
008 While the Enterprise crew researches a newly discovered comet, Archer tries to deal diplomatically with a Vulcan ship that is suspiciously watching them.

Well done episode but kind of dull. I liked the way Vulcans were portrayed, except that at the end of a meal one of them was visibly upset. Vulcans certainly seem to be letting their disciplines drop in this series.

Civilization
009 The Enterprise crew encounters a pre-industrial society that is afflicted with a plague caused by exploitative secret visitors.

This is one of those lame typical Star Trek episodes where the humans go undercover as another species. I think we can all agree that we’ve had enough of these.

Fortunate Son
010 Enterprise must intervene when the leader of a human freighter crew sets out for revenge against alien pirates.

Yay! Space pirates preying on cargo ships – this is what space is all about! It was great to see Nausicans again.

Cold Front
011 While Enterprise joins an alien pilgrimage to witness a religious stellar occurrence, Archer finds himself again faced against the Suliban warrior Silik.

Pretty good episode.

…more to come….

Two of my three closest friends I have known less than nine months and five months, respectively. Please God don’t take them away from me in some cruel ironic manner.

Here’s a trailer for a French animated film called Les Triplettes de Belleville. It starts of interesting and then…it gets more interesting. I’d like to see it.

If the twits in Washington renamed French fries “Freedom Fries”, does that mean they’ve renamed France “Freeland”?

I’m listening to the Weakerthans. Ang Hold made me a mixed CD. I’m enjoying it (even though the singer sounds like Robin (Kermit’s nephew) in a song or two). Likely I’ll see them this Thursday at the Commodore. This may mean that I have to blow off Mutants and Masterminds (again) – Theo will be so mad. But I’ll make it up to him…somehow.

I came up with two more possible band names: Metazoic. Kinda dull but I like it; *ahem* is the other one. That’s right, *ahem*. I posted the band name question to the many fine cultists at hillsidethickets@yahoogroups, and got some interesting suggestions:

My Other Band (these 8 from “Latex”)
Pantiless Cartwheels
Projectile Dysfunction
N’SUCK
Spongy Cavernous Tissue
Tossed Salad
Yenta
Yet Another Boy Band
Penfold’s Glasses (Jason Averill)
Metaphysical Abuse? (Scott Wells)
The MacBin Project?
Dog Almighty
The Arcatuthus Sound?
the hopping fishfrogs (or just fishfrog) (Craig)
Globster!
The Abdul Alhazred Project
Ash to Ashes
Ogopogo
Mega Danger Mouth (William R Porter)
Wendi-a-go-go
Not your average Cult Band
Hastur Sewing Circle of Death
Transcription Error (Tim Emrick)
Band in a Jar
Metempsychosis
Plutonian Speech Machine
Off the Top of My Head (or “OTTOMH”)
Satan Ghost (Daniel Chaves)
Colussus of Toads (Joseph)
Papal Bull
Cthatholic Dance Party
Furry Elise
Perl Necklace
MC Ultra and His Majestic 12 (Atruwe)