Category: General

No Country for Old Men is now playing at Fifth Avenue Cinemas as well as the Scotiabank Bullshit Theater. It’s also playing in Coquitlam if you like those sorts of options.

Go see it.

GO NOW!

Here are the people who live in the house in which I also live: Casey, French-Canadian Guy, Boozy Breath Guy, Too Much Aftershave Guy, Scowly Silent Guy, and Never Seen Guy. I think that’s everyone. I was told when I moved in that there is only one suite with its own kitchen. Everyone else shares the kitchen in the basement, right next to my suite.

Here’s a few interesting facts about me: cooking – not a fan. Occupying the same room as other people I don’t know – not a fan. The guy I see the most is probably Too Much Aftershave Guy, who cooks real meals like roasts ‘n’ suchlike, leaving the kitchen smelling great. Everyone else seems to come down to make toast or something equally prosaic.

Additionally, I don’t own any pots and pans or other cooking utensils–they never made it through the move. So I can’t boil an egg. Not to mention I’m afraid of the semi-antique industrial size gas stove. So, for the time being, the dream of Toren cooking healthy things for himself is dead. Let’s leave that for when I’m married (insert belly laugh here). Luckily there is a microwave at my disposal. And by a microwave, I mean a microwave oven, not an electromagnetic wave inbetween infrared and radio waves.

That said, I am learning to be clever with food in ways that would put most people off it. For example, today I was eating a banana and got about half way through when I thought “baby Jesus this is a boring banana.” So I took said half-banana, mushed it up real good with one of my co-tenants’ forks because I can’t find my own one metal one (I blame my co-tenants), sprinkled on a heaping teaspoon of cocoa powder (which I bought to make low calorie chocolate milk but even skim milk is in the neighborhood of 300 calories for a decent size glass), a heaping tablespoon of Splenda, and a teaspoon or so of skim milk so I could mix the other bits together into a brown goo. “Hey that’s pretty good, I’m some kind of fucking genius” I whispered in an ultrahigh frequency so only dogs could hear, but my genius did not stop there – OH NO! I had a half of a granola bar left in my coat so I smashed it up inside it’s individually wrapped package on my computer desk and then added the oaty particles to the concoction. It was like some kind of delicious crunchy pudding for less than 200 calories. I win.

Day 7: Thinsations (100) orange (100) granola bar (110) ice cream (100) tomatoes (100) granola bar (130) banana (200) salad (150) = 1000 calories

Kelly’s scale says I’m at 191.0 lbs. Twelve lbs to go.

The single greatest thing about mustard is that I love it and it’s very low calorie. The two greatest things about mustard is that I love it, it’s very low calorie, and it comes in many varieties. Amongst the greatest things about mustard are such diverse elements as: I love it; it’s very low calorie; it comes in many varieties….

Day 5: orange (100) caramels (400 damn you Kelly!) chicken & salad (300) Thinsations (100) Banana (150) = 1050 calories

Day 6: salad (100) apple (100) chocolate covered candied orange peels (200 damn you Kelly!) apple (100) chicken (180) + carrots (100) = 800 calories

It may have been Richard Dawkins on the Colbert Report…or someone else somewhere else…but I remember the quote:

Nobody in this audience believes in Odin or Zeus. Some of us just go one god further.

And it’s true. To believe in the Christian God or Allah or Yahweh or whathaveyou is just as ludicrous as believing in Thor or Osiris or Camazotz or the Spaghetti Monster.

Recently I had a discussion with a coworker about religion and the meaning of life. I had told him I was an atheist, he asked me a bunch of questions, said that my answers made sense, and a few days later said to me “I tried being an atheist for a couple days and it scared the shit out of me.”

People need their comfort. They need to know that there is more to life than what they see. They need a reassurance that the universe is not a cold, heartless, random Lovecraftian uncertainty. They need the comfort of order and meaning.

Imagine a universe completely devoid of meaning. Imagine a life that has absolutely no greater purpose or meaning. No cosmic significance. No spiritual purpose. No plan. No goal.

Imagine a person without a soul.

That is my life. I am living my life with no expectations beyond what I experience with my senses and extrapolate through reason. I have no immortal soul that will exist after my body dies, in a paradisal afterlife or otherwise. I have no one to answer to for my deeds except myself. I could die tomorrow or I could die in 60 years, and when I do so, my thoughts and memories will be gone and everything that is my being will be worm food. I am not part of any great plan.

Does that make me a bad person? Can a person who believes these things be a moral person? What possible purpose could he have to go on living? Is it true what some religious people say, that atheism = amorality?

Well my friends, I don’t need the threat of Hell or the scrutiny of any deity to keep me from gouging your eyes out just for the thrill of it. It just so happens that I like life, in all its cosmic pointlessness. I like treating people well because it makes me feel good and engenders reciprocation. I like enriching the world around me because frankly, I’m selfish. Selfish enough to want an enriched world for me to live in. I don’t steal and I have never cheated on a girlfriend or fooled around with someone in a committed relationship (and yes the situation has presented itself). I have promised myself I will never inflict violence on another person, or kill another even to defend myself.* Certainly I have made some bad choices in my time and made a few mistakes, but the goals and rules that I set for myself are my own, and I believe that they are highly moral, at least relatively speaking. The meaning I make for my life is my own – it’s not because of God’s judgment or ancient commandments or any other made-up hocus pocus.

Some people need the comfort of religious faith and the comfort of a meaningful life. I guess the comfort I find is in my own rationality and the strength of my convictions. That and a cozy bed with Kodos, and maybe some nachos.

People also seem to need the comfort of tradition (which interesting enough also ties heavily into religion), but that’s another post.

*of course some things you can never really know until the situation comes up, but that’s the promise, anyway.

I miss peanut M&Ms.

Zdepthcharge writes:

Madness. Toren you could do this, but it wouldn’t be healthy. What? Are you trying to impress a pretty girl? Chill it. Set your goal a little lower and maybe do some regular exercise. Diet will only take you so far. Hit a gym twice, three times a week and the weight will stay off.
Jeez man, if you could drink real coffee you wouldn’t need all this food stuff…

I do exercise regularly. I bike almost every day. Minimum 20 minutes. Often more like an hour. I’ve noticed in the past few weeks that it’s been harder for me to maintain my speed and duration without getting worn out quicker, as my belly grows larger. That was one thing I noticed when I took off the weight the first time, it was sort of exponentially easier to bike around. I didn’t get out of breath on a tiny gradient anymore, which made biking all the more enjoyable so I did it more often. Since then I’ve really enjoyed biking around, and I will often find excuses to do so, even when it’s cold and wet out.

A few years ago, over a period of several months, I tried going to the gym on and off. I absolutely loathe the gym. I despise it. There are few things that make my skin crawl more than going to a public place to use public gear with mirrors all around, running on treadmills and exerbikes to not go anywhere…and to pay for it? Nobody can say I didn’t give it a fair shake – I went probably a dozen times. Never again. Give me swimming, tennis or racquetball – something that is fun and occupies a tiny iota of the brain while you do it. It drives me bananas to think of people spending a half hour in a car to travel to (and from) somewhere to ride a stationary bike. To quote Major Clipton in The Bridge On The River Kwai: “Madness! Madness!”

And I’m trying to impress ALL the pretty girls, not just one!

Day 3: Thinsations (100) + carrots (100) + Thinsations (100) + orange (100) + skim milk & cocoa & splenda (100) + Thinsations! (100)+ chicken w/ mustard (200) + green beans (80) + chocomilk (100) = 980 calories

Scotiabank Theatre Vancouver (formerly Paramount)
900 Burrard St Vancouver 604-630-1407

No Country for Old Men 122 mins
Fri-Thu: 12:30 1:00 3:30 4:00 6:40 7:10 9:50 10:20

Anyone for a Sunday matinee?

On Sep 22 I posted that I was monitoring my toilet paper usage. I forgot to post when I finally finished the roll about a week ago. So, that puts me at about 1 roll a month…12 rolls a year. Just wanted to mark that for posterity. Or do I mean posteriority?

Well isn’t that just the darndest thing! The shooting in Shaughnessy that happened this weekend was just 2 blocks from my place!

IS NOWHERE SAFE? ARE NOT EVEN THE RICH PROTECTED IN THEIR SWANKY MANSIONS?!? I better get a gun to protect myself.

Do you think it’s possible that Beowulf might not be as incredibly bad as it looks in the trailers? Because, sweet Moses, if I was a stronger man I’d gouge my eyes out.

The horror…the horror….

Meanwhile, No Country for Old Men opens this weekend.
The awesomeness…the awesomeness….