Snakes and Ladders of My Heart

My new project is to copy and paste old blog entries to LiveJournal. I’m not sure why. Comment gluttony? Not all old entries, just ones that are still relevant. Or…whatever I feel like, really.

The breakup really made my world go topsy turvy. Not just emotionally, but practically. For the first time in years I really had long-term plans that seemed natural. We were going to move in together, we were going to go to China. I was excited about that stuff. I looked forward to it. During the past 2 weeks I’d been focusing my grief on the here and now, but once in a while something would come up to slap me in the face with a “yeah…that thing you took for granted? You aren’t going to be doing that anymore. What now, smart guy?” I feel stuck. I feel back where I started. I don’t like the dating process. In fact I will go further than that and say that I HATE the dating process. I guess most people do. I don’t want to think about it, but at times, when I am lonely, I feel it looming. Like at some point I am going to find myself back on Lavalife, and I dread it. I was extremely gratified to have been able to leave that behind me.

But I have lots more time before I have to worry about that. I am not over Marlo yet. I find myself in the awkward position of wanting to spend more time with her, to support one another and to be a friend…but at the same time wanting to get over her. It’s just so weird to not come and go as I please, to have to ask before I come over, to not call her at work every day to see what she wants to do for dinner.


7 Replies to “Snakes and Ladders of My Heart”

  1. Just wanted to extend my sympathies to both you and Marlo. Breaking up is unbelieveably difficult (and awkward when complete strangers like myself send their sympathies online).

    “Just staying friends” has always been nearly impossible for me. It always felt weird seeing the other person at the super market, or the bookstore, or god forbid, with anyone else.

    I hope you two can pull it off. Good friends aren’t easy to find.

  2. Can’t offer anything helpful re:Marlo. Sorry.

    As for comment-whoring on LJ, I’ve got a little thing that’ll automatically mirror anything from your WordPress (this *is* WordPress you’re running, isn’t it?) to LJ. I use it because I found that my friends on LJ never read my blog in a timely manner because it wasn’t on their “what my friends have posted recently” list.

  3. There’s a plugin called LivePress that does it, but it currently doesn’t work until WordPress 2, which is what I upgraded Toren to so he could more easily put up images (and size them properly).

    I’ll keep my eye out for a WP2 compatible plugin though.

  4. Hiya Puck, (I have the urge to say beedee-beedee-beedee) seems to work fine under WP2 (and was also perfectly happy under WP1.5, before I upgraded, FYI).

    I’m also using Askimet for comment spam, which hasn’t failed me yet, a StatTraq for logging visits, etc.

    …instead of upgrading to my new server, like I’m SUPPOSED to be doing.

  5. I happen to know very well what John’s talking about, because I happen to have written it.

    In fact, I can do better than a dollar. The code’s been released under the MIT license, which basically means you can do whatever the hell you want with it for free.

    My plugin’s called LJXP and is designed to transparently copy posts from WP to LiveJournal. Once you set up the initial options, you shouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

    Also, in the latest version, there’s a button to copy all of your posts automatically. It is thoroughly untested and may or may not freeze up on you, but it’s worth a shot.


  6. A friendship where one Pal is romantically interested in the other (who is not) is a recipe for disaster.

    I’m old. I know.

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