I’d just like to be the first one to point this out to the internet-at-large, so it doesn’t sneak up on them (or before it goes away):
“1. Toren Atkinson
A man of mediocrity. Engages in mediocre art, mediocre music, and mediocre acting. If you happen to meet him, he will make all his occupations seem far more exciting and challenging than they really are.
In Toren’s mind, a lot of mediocrity all add up to singular achievement.
He does art for small roleplaying publishers. His art is generally black and white. He’s not a talented enough artist to branch out of this small niche.
He is the lead singer for the Darkest of the Hillside Thickets. A niche Lovecraft band. Toren is the singer. He plays no instruments. He sometimes writes his lyrics. He’s been know to use the internet to get other people to write his lyrics for him. He takes all credit, of course.
He acts in independent films. Really really independent. So independent you’ve never heard of any of them. They’ve only been screen in the basements of friends.
He does some voice-acting. Again for projects that see very little exposure.
He’s in love with himself. He thinks he’s cool beyond measure. He’s the King of Mediocrity.
You’re so asstastic I dub thee the Toren Atkinson of the neighbourhood.”
Three guesses who wrote this up.