Sweet Lovely Death

Even though I had terrible dreams about being eaten by crocodiles when I was a kid, I think that being eaten would be a great way to go. Because then at least you’re giving something back to the world, or to the crocodile at least. Stupid old humanity and their respect for lifeless husks, it’s a needless burden on the environment to burn a body or to build a graveyard. Let it be known that when I die, I want my body to be fed to sharks or wolves or something. Maybe a swarm of starving chihuahuas so that they acquire a taste for human flesh.

Also I think that when you fill out the organ donor form, you should also be able to write a test. And I don’t mean take a test, I mean write it. When you die and the doctors divide up all your pink goodies, prospective recipients have to take the test you wrote — sort of an application form. If they don’t pass the test (and you can set it so that passing means you have to get 50% or 100% or whatever) they don’t get the donation. That way I can make sure my kidney isn’t going to someone who is stupid (because that would be a waste of a perfectly good kidney), or someone who is anti-abortion and anti-gay, like, say, the Pope.

6 Replies to “Sweet Lovely Death”

  1. I voted yes to STV and I spoiled my ballot for the provincial elections. I wrote “CAN’T” in the NDP bubble, and “DECIDE” in the Green bubble.

    Lari thought it was funny that I voted for electoral reforms when I’d probably just spoil my ballot anyway.

  2. I thought you wanted your body just left wherever it was you died. The authorities would just put some sawhorses around your corpse and there you’d stay at the mall or the theatre or the 7-Eleven.

    I CAN supply a Chihuahua with a taste for human flesh though…

  3. If this new system ever goes down, please provide me with a good cheat sheet for your “tidbits of Toren test”… I want your liver, seeing that you’ve had about 10 alcoholic beverages in your life, I’d say it’s pretty much close to perfection.

    I voted Green too. I figger – the more people that vote Green, the more people will say, “Hey, maybe *I* should vote green TOO!”

  4. Well, you can rest assured that your organs won’t go to any Christian Scientists. 😉

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