When your day job is depressing, having valuable dream-time taken up by your work place doesn't help.

I’ve said it before. Having too much work to do is troublesome. It’s causing problems. I feel like I’ve been neglecting my friends. Since I got my new day job shortly after I started dating Marlo, it’s probably pretty easy for the other people in my life to think that I’m spending all my time with my new girlfriend at the expense of my other friendships. The truth is, the reason Marlo gets so much time with me is because she comes over and sits on the couch watching TV while I basically ignore her – plugging away at (what I like to call) my first job: drawing. This is not the optimum way to spend time with one’s sweetheart, and I feel bad about it.

But…
It is amazing to think that at any time I can go up to Marlo and touch her hand or steal a kiss. I never want to take that for granted. I have always cared for Marlo, and with each passing day I love her more than ever before. Which is lots. At my day job, every day, I write a letter to her during my breaks. We talked for hours last night. Marlo makes my depressing day job sufferable, and every day that I know I’m going to see her later puts a spring in my step. The longest relationship I’ve had was 2 years. I hope Marlo stays with me until I die. And I hope we die at exactly the same time. But I hope it’s not tomorrow.

Question for Future Toren:

Did your eyebrows grow back properly? Because on November 16th 2004 you were wondering about them.

Safeway plastic bags are crappy. They’re too…wide. When I set one down on the bus stop bench two cans of cat food rolled out. Then, as I was walking home, I dropped both of them. This has nothing to do with the function of the bags, but the function of my fingers. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my yogurt burst open in the bag. When I got home I found frozen yogurt on the outside of my orange juice can.

I have no Mouse and I must scream

Wednesday Marlo and I went to Green Lettuce and it was too spicy.

Thursday…what happened Thursday. Oh yes, I saw the Incredibles with Yvonne and Stewie and Marlo and it was very very good. I loved it and I’ll avoid going on a killing spree only if they do a sequel. That Brad (Iron Giant) Bird can really put a movie together. I saw a girl on the bus this morning that looked like Violet (the invisible girl). When I take the bus to work it’s filled with gangly, awkward, clumsy teens on their way to school, who serve no end of visual entertainment. I didn’t realize that Jason Lee did the voice of Syndrome (the bad guy) – that’s neat. He was the most entertaining part of Mall Rats. I got a message from my brother that there was band practice that night in Chilliwack, so I scrambled to arrange the borrowing of Stephane’s car. I tell my bandmates that I need lots of notice for practice. I might as well be talking to an actual thicket. But I did manage to get the car (Stephane has a bout of labyrinthitis) and I listened to Bjork and Faith No More and the Rushmore Soundtrack while I drove. It’s an hour and a half each way to Chilliwack. That’s 3 hours of driving and 1 hour of practice. But I like to drive sometimes. Except when it’s really foggy through Langley and I’m tired.

Friday we had the rock show and it was good. Everything went off without a hitch. My voice was in top form – I didn’t have problems in the usual trouble-spots (the end of Frogstar, and Dies Ist Unverschamtheit) which is unusual. I even did the full scream(s) in Sounds of Tindalos which I usually don’t (after Stewie kept bugging me about how that, I made sure to belt them). I saw Dennis and I even saw Jessica Milligan (AKA Je-Psycho) our own uber-fan from days gone by, whom I haven’t seen in years. Pub 340 is a pretty good place to play – and they gave us the guarantee I asked for. I must say we rocked the house and we deserved it. There was no small amount of dancing/moshing. And let’s not forget PUKOR.

Saturday I drew while Marlo loitered lovingly. We had breakfast at de Dutch Pannekoek House and watched Powerpuff Girls. Or maybe I’m getting things confused with Sunday. Oh, I remember – on Saturday we watched Re-Animator and The Day the Earth Stood Still (good movies to watch while drawing), both of which were on Marlo’s ‘to see’ list.

And I did laundry. And that was my weekend.

I'm not a monster. I just think patriotism is backwards

You’ll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.
– George Bernard Shaw

One of the many many many books I see on a daily basis is “How to be a Canadian.” My cynicism meter shot right up and the first thing I answered (yes, I talk to the books) is – “be born in Canada, or immigrate.” Of course the book isn’t how to become a citizen of Canada, but about Canadian culture. My problem is with Canadian stereotypes, in the same way I have problems with any cultural or country stereotypes. I don’t drink beer, I dislike hockey. I spend more time looking at American politics than I do Canadian. But I’m a still a Canadian. There are peace-loving, hippie Canadians, there are warmongering naziesque Canadians. There are nice Canadians, there are asshole Canadians. There are Canadians out there in third world countries who are healing the sick and feeding the hungry. There are also Canadians that blow things and people up in the name of religion or whathaveyou. There are good things and there are bad things about every individual who is by definition Canadian. I think identifying yourself with a group of people because you were born in the same country is silly, and outdated. The race to a peaceful future is not a team sport. Nobody wins by wearing matching jerseys and waving flags around. That serves to alienate everyone who isn’t wearing your jersey and waving your flag, and it brings out the worst kind of competitiveness – the global kind; the 1980’s America vs Russia kind. There are more positive, useful things to pride yourself in other than the flag you share with X million people whom you do not know. If you need to be proud of something – be proud of the good things* that you yourself do that make this world a better place; of the happiness you bring to your friends and family*; of healing the sick, teaching the young, bringing art and literature into the world, etc.

See how I turned that negative cynicism into something warm and mushy? I planned that.

* where applicable.

Work is Unpleasant

If I were Janet and I had to get up at 4 in the morning I don’t think I would be alive today. Getting up at 7:30 is depressing enough. Although – Janet gets to sit down and occasionally surf da internet. When I was younger I had crappy jobs – like the sewage filter factory, and DeVry Greenhouses. I never was one to get depressed much, but getting up to go to work at these jobs was that special time when depression shined on through. Usually it would just last for a few minutes to a couple hours. Once I actually started doing something rather than sitting in bed thinking “why don’t they get it over with and kill me?” (yes, I was listening to Metallica at the time) I was okay. Grouchy, but okay. Some days those feelings come back. This morning was not a problem, but Monday made me feel terrible. I don’t know what makes it change from day to day.

The skin on my face is being problematic. It gets so dry on the cheeks around my nose, and on my eyebrow – then it peels off (or I peel it off if I’m being stupid) and is raw underneath. Normally I can put some vitamin E cream on before I go to bed and I look normal in the morning, but today I had these big red blotches and I was pretty self-conscious about them. I don’t know why this has started to happen, but I wonder if going to see a dermy-to-ligist is covered by MSP.

On Sunday we had a Vancouver Gaming Guild meeting and we decided we’ll just try 3 conventions this year, not 4. Winter is a hard time to book a con because in October there are other, non-VGG cons like V-Con and Con-Fusion going on, and nobody wants to do anything in December. Okay this is already getting boring so I’m going to switch topics.

Marlo’s parents took us out to dinner at the Boathouse. The dinner was okay but the dessert was astounding. Keith (Marlo’s Dad) called me Tynan when he dropped us off and I think that’s funny. I don’t get phased or bothered by that sort of thing because people get my name wrong so often. Plus – who the fuck cares? It was nice for them to buy me dinner!

We also had another miniature painting potluck party but 4 of the 8 attendees jammed out at the last minute, so we got distracted from painting and played Talisman instead. It was fun on a bun. Next time I don’t want to be the Inquisitor because I always forget his special abilities, and we’ll play with the City and the Dungeon expansions. TALISMANNNNN!

Arrrrrrrrrr

If not the longest, this is the most in-depth D&D campaign I’ve ever run. I’m learning a lot about galleons and sea travel from it, too. For example:

-For lavatories, the crew uses seats overhanging the deck rail at the head (bow) of the ship.
-Everyone in the crew takes turns at the watch (keeping look out). Watches last 8 hours, and are timed with an hour glass. Sand takes half an hour to run through the narrow waist of this glass bottle.
-Sailors on the ship do not have cabins. They just sleep wherever there is space.
-Strict regulations control the use of candles, because of the risk of fire.
-Damage to the rigging (the sails and ropes) is common, so every ship carries spares. Rats eat even the sails if they can, so spare sails are often stored in empty barrels.
-Seawater that seeps into the ship collects in the bilge–the space between the hold and the keel–and turns into a foul brew. A pump clears the bilges but the smell of the water is disgusting.
-Cooking facilities are different on every ship. Often there is no chimney, so the galley gets very smokey.
-Many ships carry pigs, sheep, and chickens. Fresh eggs and meat are reserved for the sick and the ship’s most senior officers.

Harper's Weekly report (selected)

The Bush Administration reversed itself and declared that non-Iraqis captured fighting in Iraq are not protected by the Geneva Conventions; such prisoners, it was reported, have already been transferred out of Iraq in recent months and could be taken to Egypt or Saudi Arabia where torture is more common than it is in the United States.

Just reading this is a form of torture.

President Bush suggested that the missing explosives from the Al Qaqaa military facility might have been removed before the invasion. Several news agencies confirmed that their embedded reporters were present at the facility with American troops and that they saw boxes labeled as explosives; KSTP Television in Minneapolis broadcast footage taken at Al Qaqaa of boxes of high explosives.
Congress approved a measure that will permit soldiers and their families to seek reimbursement for combat equipment, such as body armor, that they have purchased with their own money.

Osama bin Laden released a new video message and said that it was U.S. foreign policy, particularly U.S. support for the Israeli invasion of Lebanon in 1982, that led him to plan the September 11 attacks. [CNN] Bush-Cheney campaign officials were happy to hear from Osama: “We want people to think ‘terrorism’ for the last four days,” said one. Another said that “anything that makes people nervous about their personal safety helps Bush.” [NY Daily News]

Ah, the perfect campaign policy.

Voter suppression campaigns were reportedly underway all around the country, though all indications were pointing to an historically high turnout. [Talking Points Memo] Wisconsin Republicans were trying to challenge about 37,000 voter registrations in Milwaukee. [Talking Points Memo] In South Carolina a letter purporting to be from the NAACP claimed that voters will be arrested at the polls if they have outstanding parking tickets or child support payments and said that voters must provide a credit report, two forms of photo ID, a Social Security card, a voter registration card, and a handwriting sample. [Associated Press] Broward County’s election supervisor said that up to 15,000 absentee ballots would be resent to voters whose ballots mysteriously disappeared. [New York Times]

The Bush Campaign was forced to withdraw an ad that had been digitally altered to increase the number of soldiers in an audience listening to the president speak. [New York Times]

This bears a larger rant but I don’t have time right now.

Fidel Castro banned the U.S. dollar

Scientists announced the discovery of a species of hobbit-like humans on Flores, an island 370 miles east of Bali, that lived as recently as 13,000 years ago. The adult hobbits, who apparently hunted pygmy elephants and Komodo dragons for food, were about the size of a three-year-old modern human child. [National Geographic, New York Times]

New research found that it is better to be bullied for the first time as a young child than as an adolescent. [New Scientist]

jingle hells

The very first Christmas-themed commercial I have seen this season made me actually cry “oh my god” out loud. Maybe you’ve seen it: Old grandpa opens his front door and on his porch/stairs is a little plastic snowman and a little plastic dog, side-by-side. The snowman sings some of the lines of ‘jingle bells’ and the dog musically barks the others. Additionally, they both vibrate and make a tinkling sound. The vision fades into a younger ‘mom’ type, who is in a store and daydreaming the whole scenario. At this point, I’m ready for the punchline. I’m ready for the lady to shake it off and buy something cool and extreeeeeeme for grandpa, or the Juicy Fruit nun to come in with the guitar and break it over the knicknack. But no – this santa-ized singing fish wall trophy is actually the product they’re advertising on television, I realize when the Hallmark “Jingle Pals” $12.99 blurb. You really have to see it to believe it.

"US to Canada: S.O.S"

“US to Canada: S.O.S” – That was how Jeff Curtis signed an email to me today. Poignant. Everyone knows how I feel about Bush so I won’t do a big rant on my blog. Instead I’ll just do a small one:

It’s just completely unbelievable how it doesn’t matter to (51% of the voting) American people what actions their president takes. As long as he waves the flag and has the rhetoric down (and even this seems a bit shakey) – that seems to be good enough. And it’s scary to think what this means for the future, now that the precedent is set. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but it’s just as likely that next time around they could make an even worse choice.

There. Under 100 words.