Month: November 2004

Posted on Thursday, November 4, 2004. From a list of cases heard in U.S. civil and criminal courts, published in the October 24, 2004, issue of the ABA Journal eReport, the online magazine of the American Bar Association. Originally from Harper’s Magazine, January 2004.

See the full list at http://www.harpers.org/2004-01-NoContest.html

Schmuck v. Dumm

United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo v. Satan and His Staff

I Am the Beast Six Six Six v. Michigan State Police

Friends of Kangaroo Rat v. California Dept. of Corrections

State v. Big Hair

U.S. v. Pipe on Head

Henny Penny v. Chicken Little

Easter Seal Society .for Crippled Children v. Playboy Enterprises

Loser v. Superior Court of Alameda County

United States of America v. 2,116 Boxes of Boned Beef, Weighing Approximately 154,121 Pounds, and 541 Boxes of Offal, Weighing Approximately 17,732 Pounds

Jones v. God, Jesus, Others

Plough v. Fields

United States v. 11 1/4 Dozen Packages of Article Labeled in Part Mrs. Moffat’s Shoo Fly Powders for Drunkenness

Truelove v. Truelove

Short v. Long

People v. Booger [Yes of course I saved the best for last!]

I finally saw Kill Bill. I watched both parts back to back, as though it were the single movie originally intended. I was pretty disappointed.

Here’s the setup for the entire film: the bride and her wedding party have an assassination attempt made. Why? We don’t find out right away. That’s the mystery that for me supports the film. I waited intently for the resolution to that, and after 4 hours Bill’s answer was basically “I dunno.” There were no interesting onion-layers. There was almost no backstory. I didn’t really care about any of the characters because a) most of them don’t really show any character apart from “don’t I look cool…and deadly” and b) they’re obviously just obstacles on the way to Bill – 2-D obstacles. Lucy Liu’s character is given the most back-story, and yet her character seems to be the most two-dimensional. Michael Madsen’s had no backstory but seemed to have the most character. Curious.

I guess in my old age I’m caring less and less about on what interesting new way the bad guy gets impaled or beheaded, and more about characterization and plot. I was introduced to the main character and instinctively I am interested to know why she and her wedding party had an assassination attempt. I am curious about what she is going to do, and what she is going to say. Turns out the she doesn’t really say anything, and she only does one thing: kill people and react. I was more interested in things like: What does she eat? What does she read on the airplane? Why did she want to marry that guy?

The most interesting scene was the bride talking to the guy who made her sword. Now here we have some interesting characters; we have some dialogue; we have intimations made and a bit of humour to spice things up. Nice. Interesting.

The rest of the movie seemed conflicted. The bride doesn’t want to kill one lady in front of the lady’s little girl. And then she does. Madsen’s character says he deserves to die and doesn’t seem keen on killing the bride – and then that side of him is gone and he shoots the bride with a shotgun and buries her alive.

I was disappointed that I never really find out the relationship between Bill and all of his assassin-lackies. The dialogue was not up to the Tarantino precedent. In fact, it was all pretty insipid. Then I have the nit-picky stuff: the snake in the brief case; the truth serum; the anime-like gushing blood; the katana on the airplane. Sure, the fight scenes were everything they promised, but by the time Bill and the bride are sitting down for their head to head – I am worn out. I just want answers to my questions. What answers I get are either weak or conflicting.

5/10

Now that I’ve seen the film, I can finally read Kevin Murphy’s review: http://www.ayearatthemovies.com/reviews_10_07_03.htm

I noticed that the US buck hit a new low today – 1 US dollar = 1.17 Canadian.

I thought I’d reprint some choice snippets from this article from
http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/edit/archives/2004/11/25/2003212489 just in case anyone else cares. I imagine you probably won’t. Unless you’re Warren. This one’s for you.

US dollar has to go it alone

By Larry Elliot
THE GUARDIAN , LONDON
Thursday, Nov 25, 2004,Page 9
US President George W. Bush’s foreign policy is simple: don’t mess with America. The same, it appears, applies to economic policy. Last Friday, the dollar fell sharply against the euro.
…
Eurozone policymakers are growing increasingly alarmed about the fall in the value of the dollar, since it threatens to choke off exports — the one area of growth in the 12-nation single currency zone. They would like nothing more than to wade into the foreign exchanges in concert with the Fed and the central banks of Asia to put a floor under the greenback, but they know that Washington has no interest in such a move.

Joaquin Almunia, Europe’s monetary affairs commissioner, said last week: “The more the euro rises, the more voices will start asking for intervention. It has to be a coordinated effort, but it seems that our friends across the Atlantic aren’t interested.”

That sums things up rather nicely. There are two reasons why the Bush administration is not willing to play ball with the Europeans.

The first is that it sees a lower dollar as inevitable, given that the US current account deficit is running at $50 billion-plus a month. A lower dollar makes US exports cheaper and imports dearer.

“The truth is that the US fiscal and monetary excesses, which have been essential to keeping the global economy afloat in recent years, are no longer tolerated in the foreign exchange markets,” he said. “The status quo is not an option. The only question is how the pain of adjustment will be apportioned.”

The second reason is that the Bush administration has neither forgotten nor forgiven France and Germany for the stance they adopted over Iraq. French President Jacques Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroder weren’t interested in helping the US to topple former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein, and now it’s payback time. If the European economies are suffering as a result of the weak dollar, why should the US care? What’s happening in the currency markets is simply American unilateralism in a different guise.
…
Washington may have another reason — apart from getting its own back — for allowing the Europeans to suffer. The US is desperate for the Chinese to revalue the yuan, but has so far utterly failed to get Beijing to agree to abandon its dollar peg. The Chinese, for political as well as economic reasons, are determined to resist American pressure.

Europe – the French, in particular – have influence in China. As one analyst noted last week, China has never been censured by the United Nations security council — even over the massacre in Tiananmen Square — because Paris has always vetoed any such moves. France, so the theory goes, might have more success in persuading the Chinese to revalue than the Americans have had.
…
Washington, in other words, is relying on a soft landing for the dollar. History shows, however, that there is a better than even chance of this process ending in a full-scale crisis, as it did in the mid 1980s, when the weakness of the dollar culminated in the stock market crash of 1987.
…
The US is happy to go it alone for now, since this is the forex equivalent of the quick push to Baghdad. Life is likely to get tougher later — and when it does, multilateralism will have its attractions.

OK that last entry got me all in the mood for a look at some of my favourite chocolate bars.

Coffee Crisp.
It’s delightful. It’s delectible. They don’t have it in the states.
Alternate versions: French Vanilla (yuck); Latte (yuck); Triple Mocha (yuck); Orange (yum).

Reese Peanut Butter Cups. Yes. Yes yes yes. I love the way the chocolate actually melts while you hold on to the cup. You’ve tried the cups – now try the cereal!

Lowney’s Bridge Mixture. Variety goes a long long way, even so far as to excuse the low quality chocolate. If any of these bits were sold by themselves, I wouldn’t be interested. What can I say, I like getting a whole bunch of different tastes in one box. I mean package. Oh, nevermind. I like “midgit mix” for the same reason, even though some of the candies in it are gross.
Not technically a candy “bar”.

Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut. The fruit is raisins, the nut is almonds. The quality of the chocolate is pretty good for a cheap bar. If they made this in dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate it would be really something. Launched in Canada in the ’50s. This is my “I want a sophisticated, adult choco bar.” I used to eat this a lot more than I do now. I think that’s because I’ve discovered Ritter Sport.

Ritter Sport dark chocolate and dark chocolate with hazel nuts. Oh my goodness! Now that’s good chocolate for two bucks. Put this in my top five. Some of the flavours on this website I haven’t even seen in Canadian stores. Tiramisu? Cherry vanilla yoghurt? I’d try that!

Whatchamacallit!
Not easy to find in Canada. Whenever I go down to the states, I make a point of grabbing one of these when we stop for gas. I remember the commercial like it were several days ago. That sentence doesn’t actually make sense.

Eat-More. On those rare occasions when I want more nuts ‘n’ shit than chocolate, this is what I reach for. It’s like the candy company took all the sweepings from their factory floor and pressed them into a bar. And I dig it.

Crunchie. Oh Crunchie sweet Crunchie. I haven’t eaten you for strange aeons. But I still love you.

M&M Peanuts. Remember that old Indian legend of how Coyote tricked Raven into giving M&M peanuts their beautiful colours? I consider this almost a healthy treat given the candy to nut ratio. But when you get one little one that is missing the nut – that is a special treat in and of itself, isn’t it? I see you agree.

My secret shame: Lowney’s Cherry Blossom. I don’t know why. Don’t judge me. Just check out the cool interactive box at some nerds’ website.

Special mention: Maltesers, especially when they come in the milk carton container.

The Caramilk Secret REVEALED! They put the caramel into the chocolate in a machine in a factory.

And just one more thing…while I have your attention, once again: there is no such thing as red licorice. Licorice is a flavour. You are thinking of Strawberry Twizzlers. To say red licorice is like saying red mint.

Prime Minister Iyad Allawi of Iraq declared martial law after twenty-two policemen were killed in one day. Doctors Without Borders announced that it will cease its operations in Iraq. American soldiers admitted to watching Iraqi looters haul off tons of explosives from the Al Qaqaa ammunition depot.

An Air National Guard warplane fired its 20-millimeter cannon at an elementary school in Little Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey.

Election software in Onslow County, North Carolina, miscounted the votes for county commissioners. [Jacksonville Daily News] Some voting machines in Broward County, Florida, started counting backward once they reached 32,000. [Palm Beach Post] An electronic voting machine in Ohio added 3,893 votes to President Bush’s tally in a district that had only 800 voters. [New York Times] Four thousand five hundred and thirty early electronic votes in Carteret County, North Carolina, were lost. [New Bern Sun Journal] Votes were also lost in Palm Beach County, Florida, and [Bradenton Herald] in Tampa. It was noted that anomalous voting patterns in Florida (where a disproportionate number of Democrats apparently voted for George W. Bush) were all confined to counties where optical-scanning machines are used to read paper ballots. Such votes are tabulated by Windows-based PCs that are vulnerable to tampering. [Truthout] A poll taken just before the election showed that 75 percent of Bush supporters still believe that Iraq either was a close ally of Al Qaeda or was directly involved in the September 11 attacks.

Commerce Secretary Donald Evans and Attorney General John Ashcroft resigned, as did [ MSNBC ] Secretary of State Colin Powell. President Bush nominated Alberto R. Gonzales to replace Ashcroft.[ Washington Post ] Gonzales, a critic of the Geneva convention and long-time Bush loyalist, [ AP ] was instrumental in protecting then-Governor Bush from the details of clemency pleas for death row inmates in Texas,[ Common Dreams ] and in 1996 took pains to help Bush hide a 1976 drunk driving conviction.[ Texas Monthly ] Tennessee took steps to eliminate its public health programs, and Bush moved forward with his plan to privatize Social Security.[ USA Today ] The White House ordered the CIA to purge all agents who were disloyal to the president.[ Newsday ]

Eleven states passed ballot initiatives banning gay marriage. Saskatchewan legalized gay marriage. [New York Times]

A giant Wal-Mart opened up within a mile of the pyramids at Teotihuacán, Mexico. [New York Times]

Farmers in India were reportedly spraying their cotton and chili fields with Coca-Cola because it’s cheaper than pesticides and kills pests just as effectively. [Ananova]

A 29-year old Connecticut woman accused her eight-year-old boyfriend of being too controlling. In Japan, young women were being raped by the men with whom they’d hoped to commit suicide.[ The Japan Times ] A six-year-old Florida girl took $1,000 worth of crack cocaine to school; her mother said she must have got it trick-or-treating. [Associated Press]

An interview that I did quite some time ago is finally online at
http://www.flamesrising.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=119&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0