The Post That Offends Everyone Who holds wedlock sacrosanct

At the wedding this weekend instead of a guest book there were piles of construction paper on the dinner tables. Naturally I was at a table full of gamers – Jon, Stewie, Neal, Shawn & Mariko, so there were lots of jokes about gaming. I.E. the wedding was actually a LARP, and we turned our table place name tags into mini character sheets, etc. One of the of the pieces of construction paper I wrote:

I try to pickpocket Shawn’s character

…and folded it up. Only gamers will get that. The rest of the papers we mostly doodled on.

Marlo and I were discussing the wedding. I think that if we ever do get married, for tax purposes or because we live in an Orwellian future, or because Marlo discovers that she is part Shangri-Lan and the only way I can stay there for more than a 6-month work visa is to be one of her many husbands, it would be a great excuse to throw a catered party at our parents’ expense. I would be dressed as Princess Leia and Marlo would be dressed as Darth Vader and the justice of the peace would be dressed as Grand Moff Tarkin: “I grow tired of asking this, so it will be the last time: Do you, Toren, take Marlo to be your wife?” and Marlo can shout “I’ll never join you!” And the wedding cake would be the Death Star, and all the guests would have to be in stormtrooper outfits and stand at attention while Marlo walks down the aisle to the tune of the Emperor’s March.

7 Replies to “The Post That Offends Everyone Who holds wedlock sacrosanct”

  1. At our table the discussions were very similar and everyone agreed that instead if the wedding march it should have been the Imperial March. We could dress Madoka as an Ewok! 🙂

  2. Aaron and Kirsten used the Imperial March at their wedding.
    Our friends Judy and Phil said they would kill us if we turned their wedding into a LARP. Well, mostly Judy said that. Naturally, I turned their wedding into a LARP. A very simple one. There was one card that read something like “If the person you’re talking to asks you a question, give them this card.” And whoever had it at the end of the wedding won, or lost, or exploded, or something. I forget.
    Rebecca and I are now planning ours. It probably won’t be as extravagant as your idea, but it certainly won’t be normal.

  3. And I could actually say, “TOREN, I AM YOUR FATHER” and it would make sense because you would be Leia! YAY INCEST! And you could tell the JP that you recognized his/her foul stench. ahahahahahahaha.

    You task me Toren, and I will have you.

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