Toren Atkinson

On my birthday weekend Deanna and I went camping with some friends. We rented a Yaris and drove 6.5 hours north to a tiny lake near Lillooet called Carol Lake. Gas for the entire trip was $62 but the Yaris is uncomfortable to drive – the steering wheel isn’t far enough from the pedals, and the seats have a weird horizontal curve to them. On our trip we saw:

1 whitetail deer (from the car)
1 black bear (from the car, scaring the above deer)
several hawks or eagles
2 duck families (1 duckling I almost ran over in the car)
1 grouse
trout of some kind
1 water beetle (as big as my thumb)
1 loon
dozens of bats, several of which came within a few feet of me
2 huge ravens
2 deer

This hilarious drawing was on the back of a truck as we were driving along the highway.

In Hope at the Visitor’s Centre they had this, and also a woman doing a survey. I totally got a free Supernatural British Columbia magnet. Do you think they will do a spinoff of Supernatural in British Columbia? With the ogopogo and bigfoot?

Here’s another supernatural thing in BC – demon dog.

Here is the tiny lake. There was a pier and we went swimming 3 times.

We hiked to the top of a very small mountain, but the view was amazing. Too amazing to share.

Deanna wanted to bring a cake for my birthday but I talked her down to s’mores. This has 2 candles in it and I don’t know what that signifies.

This is Carpenter Lake, which is very close to Carol Lake, and has a big cool dam and a little rough tunnel through the mountain.

Oh yeah, Deanna was with me too.

All in all a wonderful trip, but I slept horribly and here’s why:

My brain: What was that sound? Is something drinking our camp water right outside our tent? Oh my god. Is it a bear? No, it’s not a bear, it must be a deer. A bear would be noisier, right? Should I wake up Deanna? No, she’d scream and the bear would know for sure we are here. Maybe it’s Angus (Dillon’s dog). Why would Angus be out there in the middle of the night? I remember them saying he wasn’t allowed in the tent, or did I imagine that? Yeah, it must be Angus. Okay cool I can go back to sleep. Oh no, wait, Angus has a little bell around his neck TO SCARE OFF THE BEARS!!! It can’t be Angus! Unless they took the bell off, or it came off somehow? No, it’s nothing. If it were a bear Lunch (Deanna’s dog who slept with us in the tent) would be growling or barking at it. Let me check to see if Lunch is here. She is here, but she’s not moving. Oh my god she’s in such a deep sleep that she can’t hear the bear. That bear is going to rip the tent open and Lunch will run away! Do bears even forage at night? I don’t hear anything now. Does that mean it’s gone away or is it just standing outside the tent being completely quiet? Holy crap I’m just going to lie here completely still, continue having the scariest night of my life and pray to Jebus that I don’t have to go pee. Remember that time when you were camping as a boy scout and you woke up in the early morning having to go pee, but you heard noises outside the tent so you just peed in your pajamas and sleeping bag rather than go out. Better than being eaten by a bear any day of the week. Oh my god next time we get a reinforced kevlar tent with automated machine guns outside.

I can’t say I’m terribly thrilled with the character design, and I’ve seen better animation with much weaker properties, but yeah, I’ll go see it.

Bolthouse Farms has a beverage line that I would call smoothies but they call “vitamin and mineral blend to support good health.” In fact I think they used to be called smoothies on the label. I’m looking at the “Perfectly Protein Mocha Cappuccino” and it looks like in order to evade having to put the nutritional info on the container, they have somehow classified this sweet, milky drink as some kind of medicine. Check this out:

DIRECTIONS: Adults take 240ml two times a day. CAUTION: Take a few hours before or after taking other medication.

Then it lists the “Medicinal Ingredients” (vitamin C, B6, B12, Calcium, Magnesium, Zinc, Iron) in various quantities) and then the “Non-medicinal ingredients” like milk and coffee and cocoa and apple juice from concentrate.

So nowhere on the container does it say how many calories or carbohydrates are in the drink, apparently under the pretense of being a “health product.” This is the kind of B.S. that I hope the C-51 bill will put a stop to.

See also Coca-Cola’s “Nestea Vitao (info cut and pasted from wikipedia):”

Due to labeling regulations, the bottling agency does not have to include a nutritional listing on the side of the beverage containers due to them being “Natural Health Products”. After consulting with a Coca-Cola Customer Service Representative, these health drinks contain the following nutritional information:
Nutritional Information of Nestea Vitao (per can):
Green Tea: 90 Calories, 25 g Carbs, 25 g Sugar, 60 mg Sodium

Pixar features only. All scores out of 10.

The Incredibles: 10
WALL-E: 9
Monsters Inc: 9
Toy Story 2: 9
Finding Nemo: 8
Ratatouille: 8
Toy Story: 7
A Bug’s Life: 6

Cars: Didn’t see it.

I discovered something fun to do on the internet!

dinehere.ca is not only a source of information on local restaurants, but if you’re a fan of passiveaggressivenotes.com you may find some enjoyment in the various user (often with Entertainment Book coupons in hand) reviews of some very special eateries. The Foundation and Budgies Burritos (two places I visit whenever I’m in the mood for some bittersweetness) are sure bets for some giggles.

Here’s a couple of choice quotes:

The food is unbelievably dissatisfying and expensive. What I was most shocked with was that they served it on plates the size of a baby’s fist. Sadly, quality did not reflect upon the quantity. I deeply considered licking the incredibly saline dish clean to wonder if I’d get fulfilled. I cried (inside) with sadly. I could feel myself withering away… Why must you torture this hungry man? Why must I pry my 40$ from the grapples of my wallet? It told me to run away.. please it pleaded, please..

We ordered our burgers, and sat down while they were cooked. The lady who was tending the cash register was scratching her head alot. (no big deal) This didn’t bother me until I saw her tend to my burger fixings. She had just handled a cash transaction, and then proceeded to touch my burger with her bare hands (that have just handled cash and her hair) I couldn’t finish my entire burger after that..
I had the runs the next day unfortunately. (I only get the runs after eating a certain Pho restaurants)

I have been served in the summer time by the girl with the ultra hairy pits, and even though that’s not my bag, and I think it’s kind of gross, that didn’t detract me. I will say, however, that the same girl was pretty rude to me, and I’m a really nice person. I tip pretty big (most of the time if I have the cash). But I have never been in there when the staff wasn’t rude. The last straw was yesterday when I walked there from my workplace (Main & Terminal) for a yummy burrito, stood in line for ten minutes, and the girl behind the counter looked right past me and asked the guy behind me in line what he wanted. Like, what was I doing there? I just walked out, and I will NEVER go back. These workers (who are probably part owners too) are worse than the Soup Nazi when it comes to service. They just don’t give a shit. Well, I don’t give that much of a shit about where I get a burrito either.

Quality entertainment. I myself got into the spirit of things, registered on the site, and have been touting my favourite spots and critiquing the many trendy joints that annoy me.

Click here to see all of my reviews.

Happy Indigenous Persons Genocide Day! And again on the 4th of July for Americans, and January 26th in Australia.

If anyone cares the short film Hello Goodbye is in my hands on DVD. In the interest of vanity here are some photos of me from the set:

Things I need to blog about but keep forgetting:

-my reviews at dinehere.ca
-my trip to the aquarium, and membership to same, and stuff.
-“The Summoning” short film
-my trip to Boundary Bay
-my giant squid dream
-Happy Bats
-Outnumbered #6 cover

It’s my 38th birthday tomorrow. This year will mark the first year in some time that I won’t be having a birthday auction. I’ve moved twice since the last big auction. And everything I didn’t sell at the auction I just left at the place on 13th which was subsequently vandalized. In theory I could have another one at my new place and just auction off stuff that people brought, but if stuff doesn’t sell I don’t really want to start accumulating runoff at the new place since there is no space to store it.

Not instead of an auction, because it wasn’t planned for my birthday but just happened to fall on the long weekend, I’ll be spending my birthday at a place called Carol Lake near Lillooet, about 6 hours out of the city, with Deanna and a few other ladies. Evil bears will have to kill two dogs before they get to my juicy meat. (If we kept going another 2-3 hours we’d be at Green Lake where I spent much of my childhood, but maybe next summer.) And on Tuesday I’ll be having a proper celebration with just me and Deanna on what we are calling a “Toren Day.” Because Toren gets to drag Deanna around doing whatever whim strikes him, which will – happily for her – involve lounging around watching movies and eating ordered food.

I don’t expect anyone reading this who is not already planning on getting me a b-day prezzie will do so, but if the mood strikes you please don’t get me any toys – I have too much already and no space for them. Comics, DVDs, CDs are great. If you want to look at my amazon wish list just click here.

A precursor to Korgoth of Barbaria and on the verge of inspiring me to run Gamma World.