Toren Atkinson

Tonight Ween is playing, and I can’t go because of the play. Toren is sad. Even if I could go, I probably shouldn’t for monetary reasons. Hopefully Stephane will videotape it for me, if he’s going.

Tuesday Queens of the Stone Age is playing. I want to go see them, but I haven’t bought a ticket yet. I’m not sure if I will. I might be doing other stuff that night, I don’t know yet.

The good news is, this month sees a new Wheatus album. Remember that song “Teenage Dirtbag?” That’s Wheatus. I never really took much interest in them until I borrowed the CD and listened to it repeatedly while The Thickets were on tour one year. Turns out all the songs were quite pleasing to my ears. Now their second album is coming out, I only hope it’s as good.

As you all know, I am generally against blogs that just circulate URLs around the net, but this one is a particularly fascinating read: The Worst Jobs in Science (Fart smeller, Barnyard Masturbator, Isolation Chamber Tester, and more!). Thanks again to Phil….

In other news, nothing in this image actually moves, it’s all your brain:

Second night of the play – went much much more smoothly than last night. Although, in the intermission, I was supposed to put a chair onto the set. I forgot to do that. So during my scene I just grabbed it out of the dressing room and started my scene by carrying the chair on stage and sitting down, instead of starting the scene already sitting. It worked out fine. I forgot to mention that Dave (the director) gave us all gourmet jelly beans before the play on opening night, along with a personalized card for each of us. Tonight we didn’t get any jelly beans, so I compensated by buying orange Smarties.

I also went through the big book of coupons and tore out everything for Commercial Drive (that’s where the play is). Until now, I have only rarely been to Commercial Drive. What a fuckin’ weird street that is – a real salmagundi of classes, styles, and misc urban specimens. There is really no other street like it in Vancouver.

The crew invited me out for beers, but I declined in favour of going home and finishing my drawing. Which I did.

First night of the play – in the first scene I was in I was nervous. After that it was fine. Of course, there were only 6 people in the audience but as far as I was concerned that was perfect. I think we need a few nights to iron out the wrinkles. So if you’re going to come and see me act – and you should – come from the 8th to the 12th.

I wanted to pass along this interesting information from Phil:

How many of you have seen “A Mighty Wind“? And how many of you wish you could’ve been in the audience for the big concert at the end of the film? You’ll get your chance on Saturday November 15th at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre. Folk icons The Folksmen, The New Main Street Singers and Mitch & Mickey are coming. As in Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer, Catherine O’Hara, Eugene Levy, Jane Lynch, John Michael Higgins and Parker Posey. Bob Balaban is introducing the acts. Frickin’ incredible. Tickets go on sale Saturday, but there’s an internet presale starting Wednesday October 1st at 10AM.

Looks like it’s official, Chris’ painting has been accepted for the cover of the new Bare Naked Ladies album.

Stop being astonished that I can’t handle vindaloos and kim chi, but I scarf down wasabi and hot mustard. They are different. Hot and spicy Indian and Thai food affects the tongue and throat. Wasabi and horseradish affects the sinuses. I know this. You know this. I rest my case.

You rest your case?

Oh, I’m sorry – I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.

I have black hair again – at last I can be truly emo. Something you may not know about me is that my upper lip hair (I guess I could have said moustache) is very reddish compared to the rest of my hair. Hmm, yes. Intriguing.

Say, does anyone have a tape-to-tape recorder that I could borrow some time in the near future? I need to get on this c:>/Fastur Octopus! Krill! Krill!/Damn the Torpedoes/Whatever music side project thing

Here are some interesting news items from this week and last week:

LAST WEEK:

A giant star was observed eating three planets.

Physicists in Romania created gaseous plasma blobs that grow, replicate themselves, and communicate, suggesting that life might emerge in a wider variety of conditions than scientists have thought possible.

The Galileo spacecraft crashed into Jupiter.

THIS WEEK

The Computer and Communications Industry Association released a report warning that the US government’s growing reliance on Microsoft operating systems and software was exposing federal computer networks to “massive, cascading failures.” The author of the report was fired the next day by his employer, a consulting firm that does business with Microsoft.

The recording industry let it be known that it was promoting a “stealing is bad” curriculum for the nation’s schools that will include classes on the history of copyright and games such as Starving Artist, a role-playing game in which children pretend to be musicians who no longer receive royalties because their work has been copied on the Internet.

Six thousand Segway scooters were recalled because they tend to throw their riders when the battery gets low. President Bush was photographed falling off one of the $4,950 scooters in June, though he had simply neglected to turn it on.

Charlton Heston was named as the first recipient of the Charlton Heston Prize.

There was a new Enterprise last week. When I saw the ad for this episode, I was so confident it was going to suck that I didn’t bother to tape it. I was right.

Boos: a) T’Pol once said that Vulcans don’t touch their food with their hands, or some such. Well, she sure touched that peach pretty handedly (haha). b) Even if I didn’t know what this episode was about, when they went down to the planet the first thing I said (to myself of course, alone in the room) was “why aren’t you wearing environmental suits?” c) Okay, I’m confused – did Trip have to find T’Pol’s DNA by finding a peach? Am I to understand that the doctor doesn’t have all the crew’s DNA on file?

Yays: a) At last a black alien race. b) That dead alien was cool.

I am pleased to present (in my own way) the newest monsterpiece by Chris Woods, “Nighthawk”

My mom’s worried about me because I haven’t posted to my blog since Tuesday. I’m OK Mom!

Last night I had my birthday auction – it was lots of fun, lots of people came, including (in order of appearance) Stuey (well he lives here), Yvonne, Don, Tim, Carina, Anghold, Chris Woods, Angie, Tasha, Jon, Pauline, Denzil, Neal, Raymond, Rowan, Adrian, Stephane, Sheri, Kathryn, Chris Slater, Marlo, Norm, Jenn, Theo, Kate, Chris Gibbins, Lynn, James, ummmm…others. The only things I kept were a little garbage can, two sound effects CDs, a VHS copy of La Femme Nakita, and Mike Nelson’s book “Mind Over Matters.” Oh I look forward to that one, although I am still slogging through Kavalier and Clay. I left my pocketbook copy of The Big Sleep at the Railway Club when we played there last month. It’s going to cost me $30 to pick it up as I said I would pay for a mic stand somebody broke (that somebody might be me). More hassle than the $30 is that I’ll probably never be by the Railway Club during its business hours until the next time we play there (which, if tradition holds, will be another 9 years – 1994:2003:2012?)
Also Chris ‘n’ Angie gave me a gift card for Futureshop! Perhaps I’ll spend it on a DVD of Miller’s Crossing or Spirited Away (or both). I don’t know if the Futureshop near here actually sells DVDs – but I’ll find a way.

Just in case you don’t know, a birthday auction is something that I came up with a few years ago (I think this was my 3rd), and it works like this:

Instead of the regular boring “a party is thrown and people bring gifts”, a party is thrown, and people bring crap from around the house that they’ve been looking to get rid of: books, toys, CDs, lampshades, video games, gewgaws, white elephants–these items they donate to the pile (auction block). Party-goers also bring a bit of jack (bread, as Harvey Pekar would say). You can guess what happens then, but if you can’t, I’ll type it out: Everything gets auctioned off and the birthday star gets all the cash, to do with what he/she/it will. Bills may be paid, habits may be supported, fine dining may be had, who’s to say? It’s actually a lot of fun, as I’m sure you can attest if you were there. Highlights include fine catering by Anghold, the six dollar monkey, filthy-sounding Disney song titles, and…what else?

The Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Author

I thought of another band name today – Damn The Torpedoes.

And now, it’s story time… and YOU’RE THE STAR!!!

Have you ever had an odd, annoying or amusing experience making a dinner reservation, checking in at the airport with tickets you’ve bought online, or trying to register for school over the phone? Did a receptionist or telephone operator give you a hard time, or were they just stupid?

I’m writing “skits” for an ESL book and the current topic I’m working on is this kind of stuff. If you have any stories on this topic you’d like to relay – I may use them in the writing and then your story would be immortalized in print, read by hundreds if not thousands of ESL students.

To quote Monty Python, any help you could give us would be very…helpful.

TV Guilt-be-gone

I am listening to Dashboard Confessional. Thank you, Clone High.

I’ve rediscovered something that makes me feel pleasant – watching TV in bed. Maybe it’s nothing more than the impending transition from summer to autumn, I don’t know, but while I was having my little Enterprise marathon, instead of going to bed and reading, I would go to bed and watch an episode or two. There is nowhere better to watch TV than in bed, I have decided. It’s warm, cozy, horizontal, and I don’t know – maybe it’s nostalgia hitting me from doing it a lot when I was younger, but it strikes me as kind of romantic. It’s not something I’ve done a lot of lately, but I aims ta change that. I feel a little guilty, vegging out in front of the idiot box rather than “improving myself” by reading, but to that I say: whatever.

Speaking of marathons, Yvonne’s roommate has never seen The Muppets, so we were talking about having a little Muppet marathon. I’m looking forward to it. I got some of my favourite episodes on tape through a trade a year or two ago (on Stephane’s behalf, actually). My favourite is the one with Steve Martin. What’s yours?