Where does the school board find them, and why do they keep sending them to me?

I was talking to Yvonne about youthful obsessions with famous people the other day. I never had any crushes on movie stars. I never had magazine-clipped photos of famous cutie-pies in my locker. I guess my mind was too full of Star Wars and Transformers to worry about such nonsense as healthy natural development. However I did have a crush on Moose (AKA Christine McGlade) from You Can’t Do That On Television. Today, in an odd coincidence, I realized the tape that I was recording Enterprise on was an old YCDTOTV tape. After the tremendously dull episode of Enterprise ended, I watched a couple of episodes of YCDTOTV. Guess what? Last year they had a YCDTOTV convention in Ottawa. I missed it. I could have met Christine. Damn. Once again I’ve let true love slip through my fingers.

Just like Darth Vader tightening his grip on star systems.

There, you see? Tragic.