Post-Apocalyptic Movie Review: Deathsport (1978)

1000 years after the Neutron Wars, nomadic ranger guide manly Kas Oshay and sexy blonde Deneer hang out in the wasteland riding horses, until captured by riders on their Death Machines (AKA dirt bikes with spacey-looking consoles) and brought back to the walled city of Helix. Tortured by the mad and dying Lord Zirpolo, and forced to partake in Deathsport (AKA a dirt bike track), they somehow break free and escape back into the wasteland, with former ranger guide and Zirpola lieutenant Ankar Moor in hot pursuit. After a brief encounter with cannibalistic cave mutants Kas and Ankar have a duel with clear plastic swords.

Apparently a sort-of sequel to Death Race 2000, this movie is a lot of riding around on bikes with obnoxious sound effects while explosions happen close by, punctuated with some T&A courtesy of playmate Claudia Jennings. The only cast member with any charisma is Richard Lynch. Oh yeah there’s a kid that is thankfully relegated to the beginning and end of the film.

TROPES: vehicles explode for no reason; futuristic jargon; lights flash when torture is happening; exposition about what’s happening on screen; blowing on a gun; mutants only grunt

Toren’s Rating: 3/10

Now back to Toren’s Post-Apocalyptic Movie Guide

https://tubitv.com/movies/465010/deathsport

Overdue Who Review: The Armageddon Factor

Season 16, 1979, 6 parts, Fourth Doctor (Tom Baker)

The Doctor and Romana land on the planet Atrios and meet Princess Astra, her lover Merak, and The Marshall, the latter of which is war-mad about defeating neighboring planet Zeos in their ages-long war. Secretly Zeos is run by an AI, which is secretly run by a guy in a skull mask (The Shadow – he hates light) who also is secretly advising the Marshall through a black mirror. The Shadow is an agent of the Black Guardian and is hunting for the sixth segment to the Key to Time, which (spoiler) is Princess Astra. K9 is captured by The Shadow and reprogrammed, while Astra is likewise corrupted and transforms herself into the puzzle segment. The Shadow gains entry to the TARDIS while The Doctor is miniaturized by friendly Time Lord Drax (found in the bowels of The Shadow’s space base). The Shadow puts the Time Key together and starts monologuing so The Doctor returns to size, grabs the macguffin and our heroes get away.

The Doctor practically turns to the camera and says the name of the episode out loud, which is always fun. This is the final chapter in the Key of Time story arc which spans the entire 16th season. Overall, a disappointing climax to a fun season. This could easily have been 4 episodes, there’s a lot of chaff in the first 3. It only gets interesting when K9 becomes a servant of The Shadow and The Doctor bumps into Drax. Given how overpowered K9 is as an ally, he should be more of a threat to The Doctor, but he’s defeated easily and stupidly. Also it occurs to me that K9’s eyes are always red, so how can we tell when he’s good or evil? In a rare twist Romana upstages The Doctor when she clues him into the fact that the White Guardian is the evil Black Guardian because he’s unwilling to restore Astra to human form. This leads to the question, was there ever a White Guardian, or was it the Black one all this time?

Maybe we’ll find out in the next episode: Destiny of the Daleks

Toren’s Taiwan Trip 20: Taipei at Last!

THURSDAY MARCH 10 2022

Took the high speed rail from Kaohsiung to Taipei (a 2 hour 20 minute trip) where I saw the mountains and farmland of Taiwan

We arrived and walked around the neighborhood of our hostel, and visited the

National Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall

Creepy

I wanted to try Britshake, the British-themed restaurant, to see how it was in Taiwan. Unfortunately, not super memorable. So I won’t bother with pics. Anyway – here’s an interesting chart showing the ethnographics of Taiwan

A little park/mosquito breeding ground

Check out the space age 7-11. What happens in there? I don’t know

It’s a gas station just for scooters. They’re ubiquitous!

Your average Taipei commuter train station

We met up with two of Erica’s old friends, Frankie and Andy, at

Kokoro izakaya (Japanese bar with food)

where I had a cute little cumquat, deep fried bitter melon (yummy) and some nuts of some kind!

After that we went to a lesbian karaoke bar that I believe was called 7 Plus, but I couldn’t find it on google. It was…interesting, because the lesbians will try to chat you up for tips, which I found to be awkward, because although they were very nice and tried hard to make me feel welcome – I don’t really drink, and we don’t speak the same language. But there was some karaoke so not too bad!

I wanted to go to the poo-themed restaurant I had heard about years prior, but sadly they had permanently closed 🙁

DENIED!

Toren’s Taiwan Trip #20 Moon Bay Beach, Yuguang Island, Tainan

March 09 2022

Should you find yourself at Mitsui Outlet Park in Tainan, be sure to visit Gozen Kamicha!

Former fishing settlement on a forested island, with water sports & a beach with sunset views. Travel Tainan says “Yuguang Island, connected to the bustling Anping District by the Yuguang Bridge. Visitors can stroll along the beach or step barefoot into the waves to feel the caress of the sea breeze and the cool seawater lapping at their ankles.”

All true!

First thing on the island is the small area of vendors, and a temple of course.

A beautiful wooden path leads to the beach. Maybe to protect your feet from snakes? I didn’t see any snakes.

Isn’t that nice? I think so

Overdue Who Review: The Androids of Tara

Season 16, 1978, 4 episodes

Fourth story in the Key of Time series. The Doctor and Romana split up immediately and Romana is captured by the evil Count Grendel, who is using android duplicates to try to seize the throne. The Doctor and K9 have to rescue Romana twice, culminating in a sword duel. Also the princess is a doppelganger of Romana for an unexplained reason. 

A fairly basic plot with low stakes, which could have been improved with tighter writing and directing. Apparently this is a take on The Prisoner of Zenda, which I have not read. Baker and Tamm have a good time. Not what I would call an essential episode by any stretch, but there’s horses and regal garb so there’s that.

Next up: The Power of Kroll

Toren’s Taiwan Trip 17: Return to Lotus Pond

SUNDAY MARCH 6 2022

Had some unscheduled time today so, after I grabbed breakfast from Mei Zi Quan Breakfast Restaurant 美滋泉早餐店 (or maybe it was Tian Tian Wu Breakfast Restaurant 甜甜屋早餐店),

I walked aimlessly and found myself at Anning Street where umbrellas decorated the space between buildings overhead

Time to grab a U-Bike!

And go where? Why a little bike tour from Lane 450 to Lotus Pond and back. Like this:

The Love River

Finally, did a little bit of shopping at PX Mart

Next: Sanduo Shopping District

100 NPC Names Your Players Will Remember (Probably) – Part One: Car Names

One issue I’ve noticed both as a player and DM is that names of non-player characters get lost in the mix, sometimes because they are too banal or otherwise forgettable. If you as a DM want your players to remember that important NPC’s name, I’m here to help you pick one!

You probably won’t recognize some of these names as cars, but I assure you, I’ve done my research, all the way back to 1889. This is one part of a larger series. Note: if you run a serious campaign where jokes are frowned upon, this list is not for you!

Acura – maybe put the emphasis on the second syllable
Ajax – also a figure in Greek mythology
Alfa Romeo
Altima
Argo – also the ship from Jason and the Argonauts!
Astra -literally means a star
Audi
Austin
Bendix
Bentley
Bolt
Borgward – possibly an orc name?
Buckeye – also a tree!
Bugatti – some people told me to not include this one but it just sounds too great.
Camaro
Carhartt
Cayenne – also a spice!
Citroen
Cricket
Cutlass
Cyklon
Daihatsu
Dingfelder
Dudly Bug
Durango
Edge – probably a rogue or some guy who thinks he’s cool.
Elantra
Elgin – sounds like a scholar to me
Envista
Ferrari
Fiat
Ford
Forester
Grout
Gurgel
Gurley
Gutbrod – another orc name? Or a dwarf?
Harley
Heinkel
Huracan
Impreza
Jetta
Kermath
Kia
Kukushka
LeRoy (accent on the second syllable, HATES being called LEE-roy)
Levante
Lexus
Lincoln
Lockheed
Lux
Malibu
Maserati
Maverick
Maxima
Mercedes
Metris
Murano
Nautilus
Niro
Omikron
Otto
Packard
Passat
Peugeot
Pieper – pronounced ‘peeper’ if you like
Piggins – a plump halfling?
Porsche
Portofino
Primus Priamus Prius
Protos
Renault
Rickenbacker
Riker
Roma
Rover
Royce
Saab
Savana
Scion
Sienna / Sierra
Sirocco – also a Mediterranean wind!
Solidor
Solterra (literally ‘sun earth’)
Sonata
Sorento
Spark
Spaulding
Sprinter
Stinger
Studebaker
Talbot
Telluride
Tiguan
Trax
Urus
Wartburg
Wendax
Wingle
Yugo
Zender

YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY… 500 Post-Apocalyptic Place Names

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/370354/500-PostApocalyptic-Place-Names

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Dungeons and Dragons Cartoon – THE ESSENTIALS – Part 3 (Season 3)

Click here for part 1. Click here for part 2.

There were only 6 episodes in season 3!

22. DUNGEON AT THE HEART OF DAWN

Essential? Yes. This episode explains some of Venger’s backstory, and what master he serves.
Game Adaptation Friendly? It could be challenging but also interesting to take away kids’ weapons of power during the Underworld set pieces. Possibly your players would hate it.
AD&D Monsters: Shadow demon, salamanders, duergar (possibly), purple worm
Bonus monsters: He Whose Name Cannot Be Spoken

When the kids release a powerful evil entity from the Box of Balefire, DM drains the Weapons of Power to fend it off, and escape to the Underworld. Without magic and with Venger on their heels, the kids are separated one by one as they cross the Planes of Fire to revivify DM in the Dungeon at the Heart of Dawn.

Notes: Starts off with the characters in pitch black, saving thousands on the animation budget! Frank Welker voices Hogar the duergar.

23. THE TIME LOST

Essential? No but as a kid’s cartoon with Nazis it’s worth a watch
Game Adaptation Friendly? No this could go sideways in many many ways.
AD&D Monsters: blue dragon

Venger uses the Crystal of Chronos to send a Nazi fighter pilot back to WWII Germany with modern jet technology to win the war for Germany, thus eliminating the kids before they’re born. 

Notes: Diana has never seen an American fighter jet. Frank Welker Voices:  American fighter pilot

24. ODYSSEY OF THE 12TH TALISMAN

Essential? No
Game Adaptation Friendly
AD&D Monsters:  jackalope. Bonus monster: some kind of dire camel or possibly off-model catoblepas

DM quests the kids to find and destroy the unpredictably dangerous Stone of Astra, which is in the hands of a kid that Eric bonds with named Lorn. An evil wizard frames the kids in an effort to acquire the artifact.

Notes: this is Eric gets a friend episode. Frank Welker voices the wizard Korlock

25. CITADEL OF SHADOW

Essential? No
Game Adaptation Friendly? No
AD&D Monsters: orcs. Bonus monster: flying bat-thing

Sheila frees a girl Kareena from her magic prison, and there’s two magic Ring of the Heart and the Ring of the Mind that can send the kids home, but Kareena has a connection with Venger. 

Notes: Frank Welker voices an orc

26. CAVE OF THE FAERIE DRAGONS

Essential? No
Game Adaptation Friendly? Quite possibly! But I haven’t tried it yet.
AD&D Monsters: Faerie dragons, giant ants

Tasmira, queen of the Faerie Dragons, is held prisoner by the evil warlord King Varen, who desires their treasure. Aided by the sassy little dragon Amber, the gang must free her and help her people find a new home.

Notes: Presto makes a reference to the 1950’s giant ants movie “Them!” 

27. THE WINDS OF DARKNESS

Essential? No
Game Adaptation Friendly? Quite possibly! But I haven’t tried it yet.
AD&D Monsters: brontotherium. Bonus monsters: furry pet, darkling.

BONUS EPISODE: REQUIEM

Essential? Tough call. Considering it’s not official, I would say it’s strictly not essential. But if you want closure, watch it.
Game Adaptation Friendly? Ask me later.
AD&D Monsters: Hydra, bronze dragon, lizard men, shadow demon. Bonus monster: amoeboid

The final episode that wraps up the kids’ journey was scripted by Michael Reaves but was not professionally animated, as Mark Evanier explains on his blog. A radio play of the script was released with the DVD box set, including the original voice of Sheila, Katie Leigh. In 2020 a fan-made animation was released on Youtube which you can see here.

Dungeons and Dragons Cartoon – THE ESSENTIALS – Part 2 (Season 2)

Click for PART ONE (Season 1)
Click for PART THREE (Season 3)

This season the episodes begin to focus on individual characters a bit more, giving them connections with other kids they meet during their travels. There are 8 episodes.

14. THE GIRL WHO DREAMED TOMORROW

Essential? No
Game adaptation friendly? I haven’t tried to run it but it seems problematic.
AD&D Monsters: bullywugs, lizard men, hydracockatrice. Original monsters: bat-winged tentacle monster

Bobby’s true love episode. The kids meet another refugee from the D&D ride on Earth, Teri, with an ability of prophetic dreams. DM tells them a portal home lies within within the Maze of Darkness. Teri dreams that she will be reunited with Bobby in America and DM confirms it will happen. Venger wants the secret of Teri’s powers. For some reason Bobby destroys the portal after Teri passes through it. 

Notes: Sheila spanks a lizard man, and We learn former pupils of DM died in the maze!

15. TREASURE OF TARDOS

Essential? No
Game adaptation friendly? No, for multiple reasons
AD&D Monsters: plesiosaurus, orcs, shadow demon. Original monsters: demodragon

Venger has created a two-headed horror Demodragon in an effort to trick Queen Sulinara of Tardos Keep into giving up their treasured dragonsbane. Venger would use the plant against Tiamat, but DM sends the kids to help. Somehow they avoid dying. 

16. CITY AT THE EDGE OF MIDNIGHT

Essential? No
Game adaptation friendly? I think this could work if you’re willing to separate a PC from the rest of the group.
AD&D Monsters: hook horrors, possibly a modified Type III Demon

King Ramuud, posing as a caravan merchant from Kadish, has lost his daughter Aisha to a creature called the Night Walker, who enslaves kids in his city where time is stopped. When Bobby is also taken, the kids go to rescue him.

Notes: Schoolmate Jimmy Whitaker says Presto does stupid magic tricks. Ramuud is way nicer than Eric’s dad. 

17. THE TRAITOR

Essential? No
Game adaptation friendly? Yes, the plot is quite simple, though I have not run it myself. 
AD&D Monsters: orcs, shadow demon. Original creatures: Cloud bears.

In this Endor/Ewok/Care Bears ‘ripoff/homage’, Hank and Bobby are captured by Venger, and Hank makes a deal to betray his comrades in order to save Bobby. Then he learns that the magic stones of the cloud bears are Venger’s kryptonite.

Notes: Venger uses orcs to attack the tree-dwelling cloud bears. He should have used his flying apes from episode 3!

18. DAY OF THE DUNGEON MASTER

EssentialYES!
Game adaptation friendly? Not with any regard to power balance, no.
AD&D Monsters: giant wasps, yeti, red dragon, roc, giant octopus (presumably)

Eric takes on the mantle and powers of Dungeon Master while the kids quest to the City of Darkhaven to acquire The Golden Grimoire. 

Notes: They reference Star Wars. Eric has a selfless moment, Bobby is fine with leaving Uni alone in the realm this time. The animation during the climax is higher quality than the rest of the ep.

19. THE LAST ILLUSION

Essential? No
Game adaptation friendly? Probably, but I haven’t run it personally.
AD&D Monsters: Tiamat, orcs, giant squid

In this fairly dark episode, Presto connects with a natural illionist Varla, held captive by Venger in the Forbidden Tower. The kids must rescue her but Venger frames them as witches and townsfolk throw them in jail. 

Presto’s love episode, with a happy ending, but we don’t know what happens to Varla for the rest of the series. 

Notes: DM takes a bow at the end of the episode

20. THE DRAGON’S GRAVEYARD

Essential? YES! One of the darker episodes where the kids finally try to take control of their destiny.
Game adaptation friendly?
Not sure how you would do this. Would give the PC opportunity to gain new Weapons of Power.
AD&D Monsters: frost giant, shadow demon, Tiamat

Remarkably this episode starts with the kids finding a portal home, and the kids are fed up when Venger thwarts them. The plan: to put an end to Venger, permanent-like, with the help of Tiamat.

21. CHILD OF THE STARGAZER

Essential? No
Game adaptation friendly? No
AD&D Monsters: doombat, demon

Diana falls for the extremely uncharismatic Kosar, recently escaped from a dungeon in city of Turad by the demon queen to prevent the fulfilling of the prophecy “On the Night of Starfall, the child of the stargazer shall come from a far away land to stand in the Temple of Light and the demon shall be banished.” 

Notes: No Venger in this episode. Episode opens with Diana singing the end credits music. The animation is uneven in this episode, off model at times but more anime at the end

ESSENTIAL EPISODES FROM SEASON TWO:
DAY OF THE DUNGEON MASTER

THE DRAGON’S GRAVEYARD

…on to SEASON THREE!