Category: Post-Apocalyptic

A military self-repairing robot is scavenged from the wasteland and a man (Mo) who fears commitment brings it to his non-girlfriend (Jill) where it comes to life and chases her around the apartment.

This world has the trappings of a post-apocalyptic film (radiation, crappy outfits, cyborg hand) but there is a government and the woman’s apartment building has all the amenities (electricity, a security system, hot water that is more reliable than in my pre-apocalyptic building). A merchant in the first act finds out the robot’s weakness and then Mo learns it (it’s water) but in the climax of the film Jill learns it rather coincidentally. At some point in the film the robot skull’s US flag paint job goes away.

I finally finished watching this after years of not making it through the first half – quitting around the time the slovenly peeping tom neighbor invades the woman’s apartment. The dialogue is trite, and with very few exceptions, the actions of all the characters have zero bearing on how the story plays out which makes for very monotonous fare, despite the pedestrian attempts at avante garde cinematography and special effects.

Tropes: perverted neighbor; little person is a result of radiation; radio DJ exposition; shower lovin’; thermal vision sex scene; phone is destroyed to help the plot along

Toren’s rating: 4.2/10

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After an attempt to thwart an asteroid impact backfires, rocket chemicals spray the land turning everyday creatures into giant monsters. Joel is separated from his ladyfriend and spends 7 years in a bunker before he decides to take the 7 day journey in monster territory to reunite. En route he overcomes his paralyzing fear and his terrible aim, meets some new friends and bonds with a dog.

The monsters and settings were well-designed and the world was fun to inhabit. I liked that the ending wasn’t schmaltzy. It wasn’t a ‘rescue the damsel’ situation but neither did it turn 180 with the ‘men are incompetent’ trope. Meanwhile, was expecting some closure on the dog’s red dress.

Tropes: passing on a treasured keepsake; radio stops working at dramatically convenient moments; dropping the grenade;

Toren’s rating: 7/10

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Kevin Costner is an ‘icthyo sapiens’ with webbed toes and gills who wanders an endless ocean trying to get by. He gets caught up in a battle between jet ski marauders known as Smokers and a floating settlement that harbours a child with a tattoo that may be a map to the mythical “Dryland.” Of course he escapes with the help of the child and her surrogate mom. At first he’s a complete dick to them both but through the trials and tribulations of eluding the Smokers and their merciless leader Dennis Hopper they become a dysfunctional family.

This film has reprehensible hair as only Hollywood (and Italian cinema) could hope to achieve, sketchy makeup (nobody’s buying that gouged eye socket), 2-dimensional dialogue, and hokey action that made me laugh out loud, but it does have rich worldbuilding in the form of consistent wardrobe and amazing set pieces.

Tropes: stoic lone wolf of few words; eccentric inventor; villain has eye patch; heroine offers her body as payment; each explosion bigger than the last

Toren’s rating: 4/10

Now back to Toren’s Post-Apocalyptic Movie Guide https://torenatkinson.com/2014/08/09/post-apocalyptic-movie-guide/

Barely squeaking by as a post-apocalyptic movie, as it chronicles the tail end of the apocalypse. A war has created a lethal cloud of radiation that has done in the rest of the world, and will reach our heroes in Australia in about 4 months. I think only one of the actors is Australian, and it’s not Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire or Anthony Perkins, our main cast. While our hero Commander Towers comes to terms with his family’s death, he gets involved with another woman and then is sent on a mission to investigate a strange signal from America and determine whether or not the cloud is dissipating. Strangely, the streets are devoid of the dead OR their cars. Meanwhile, the government is handing out suicide pills to all citizens, and Anthony Perkins doesn’t know how to handle her wife and new babymama, who is in denial of the whole situation.

Meanwhile, the Waltzing Matilda musical motif is overused to the point of distraction.

A bit long but very well done.

Tropes: unwanted military promotion; weak women

Toren’s Rating: 7.8/10

Now back to Toren’s Post-Apocalyptic Movie Guide https://torenatkinson.com/2014/08/09/post-apocalyptic-movie-guide/