Molly, the subject of medical experiments that left her with psychokinetic powers, roams the wasteland with her sometimes-friend falcon. When the minions of an excessively theatrical ringmaster kidnap her new orphan friend in a dinosaur onesie, she makes an assault on their lair. This colorful and ambitious Dutch action movie is a bit of an endurance test, with meandering treks through repeating set pieces and overly-long oners that are valiantly attempted but leave the viewer as worn out as the combatants. There are lots of wonderfully fun and cool ideas in the film, but with a borderline cartoon tone and pulled punches, it’s kind of like watching friends play-fight. Acting choices are made with commitment, but never transcend, and bold cinematography demands your attention.
What’s the difference between ethics and morals? Eight years after a virus all but wiped out the female population, An itinerant father has to keep moving to keep his young daughter out of the sights of the dystopian world of men. Luckily they always have an escape plan.
Tropes: bedtime stories; preachy old man; code word; walking away and not answering when called.
50 years after the plague-inducing “Cloud Fall,” Gina Carano is a pragmatic bounty hunter who decides to infiltrate a gang led by the criminal with the biggest bounty on his head. She finds herself outmatched and seeks the help of her old mentor. It’s a very Old West style setting including saloons, card games and cowboy hats. And horses of course. The currency in the land is water purification tabs and silver, which is used to make mask filters. Some fun scenes including a raid on a caravan with an armored fighting vehicle.
Better than the imdb rating indicates
Tropes: Flashback to traumatic event that relates to current events, old veteran with leg injury; dragged behind a horse; dragged behind a vehicle;
Shawn Ashmore (Ice Man) and Dominic Monaghan (Merry Brandybuck) lead a group of survivors into an abandoned house to dry off and clean up, and maybe find some food. Little do they know they are marked by a gang of cannibals. Their best chance of survival is working together but one survivor’s secret tears the group apart!
Most of the movie takes place in the house, and while there are some interesting ideas and twists, the writing is awkward and trite. Characters’ motivations and allegiances flip-flop and both heroes and villains act in nonsensical ways. The army of cannibals with no ranged weapons come in small waves of 3-5 attackers that the survivors can easily repel from inside the house with their guns, and both groups make terrible tactical decisions. In typical gore-fest fashion the leader of the cannibal gang, in hopes of eating the few survivors in the house, sacrifices five times that amount of his own forces.
The film is shot in muted tones, on the edge of black and white, with rich red blood sometimes gratuitous and other times unrealistically held back. Props to the design team though, everything and everyone looks filthy and worn out. And I enjoyed the hopelessness of dwindling food and bullets. Ashley Bell is a standout as creepy loner asskicker.
Tropes: building traps and defenses montage; clan tattoo; ammunition count
A scavenger in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, trapped overnight in her overturned vehicle with a dangerous man-creature roaming around, reflects upon her life choices.
I don’t usually review ‘zombie’ films, but it’s not entirely clear what the creature is, despite the fact that it seems highly resistant to injury, so I choose to believe it’s some kind of viral mutant. Regardless, without the post-apocalyptic monster angle this would be a pretty by-the-numbers tale of a rich man getting involved with a pretty heroine addict.
Tropes: trapped with a nocturnal monster; light stops working; radio stops working; twist ending
Let me start by saying that the trailer posted here does not do justice to the film. The dialogue is clunky, read without any nuance, and the song is not part of legendary Joe Hisaishi’s wonderful score for the film, which goes from orchestral, to sitar + tabla, to 1980s synth masterfully. So, ignore the trailer.
I first saw this film in its dubbed, Americanized version called “Warriors of the Wind,” with over 20 minutes cut from the original, rented, no doubt, on VHS. The cover art for the box, below, shows gun- and lightsaber-toting characters who have nothing to do with the movie, with the main character relegated to the back corner. It wasn’t until 2006 that Disney released the full film in the west, though I’m sure I got a sneak peak through my habit of tape-trading through the 90s.
Regardless, the movie took hold of my imagination like no other. The design of the world, the creatures, the flying machines, and the characters are fantastical yet immersive. You feel the grandeur of the world, but the highly curious and compassionate princess Nausicaa also makes it intimate, with her connection to it.
In brief, 1000 years ago a global war culminated in the “Seven Days of Fire” which decimated human civilization and created the Sea of Corruption–a toxic jungle full of giant insects and deadly spores which threaten to consume the world. Nausicaa lives in a farming community in the Valley of the Wind which keeps the forest at bay. Regardless, her father, the king, is dying from spore contamination. As she tries to unlock the secrets of the toxic jungle, a flying fortress with a deadly cargo crash-lands in the Valley, involving Nausicaa and her people in a conflict between warring nations.
The movie takes enough time that you can appreciate the visuals, the sound design…you can almost smell it at times. You feel the power of the war machines and the giant god-warriors, and the awe, mystery and alien-ness of the toxic jungle and its denizens. Nausicaa has a profound capacity for empathy that connects her with any creature she finds, and which takes her enemies aback, but that empathy also gives rise to uncontrolled rage when turned by injustice and pain. The viewer identifies with her as someone who is just trying to understand the world while getting caught between cold, thoughtless assholes with their power-grab agendas. But even then this movie, through Nausicaa, brings you close to these characters so that you understand their point of view, if not their actions. And when the shit hits the fan in the last act you are with Nausicaa all the way.
The minor quibble I have with the story is the ‘bird man’ prophecy angle, which I feel is unnecessary and tacked-on. Other than that, this movie is, for my money, a perfect piece of art that is filled with heart. 10/10
This movie goes out of it’s way to not disclose what happened that caused ‘the event’ which leaves terminal cancer victim George Clooney isolated and a space ship full of scientists homeless. It also asks you to accept that there’s a recently discovered Jovian moon suitable for human habitation, which I guess is fine. There’s not a lot new here, and everything is pointless. At least it looks nice? Let me know if the twist ending makes you angry.
Tropes: twist ending; it’s cold and wolves are after me; mute child
Based on a manga, this movie is set about 2000 years after machines took control of a possibly-endless city. The humans are running out of food and tech, and have to venture out into the city where the AI that rules sends out “safeguard” killer robots to exterminate human infestation. A group of kids, striking out on their own against the colony’s wishes, encounter a mysterious and reticent stranger – named “Killy” of all things – who is definitely a robot. He is searching for humans with the genetic capability to control the AI, because a contagion stripped humans of that gene 2000 years ago, which seems weird. They bring the stranger back to the village and he detects another robot nearby, which he re-activates, and the village is okay with this, which seems weird. The two robots take the villagers on a journey to a factory which can create food and also a mcguffin that will save the village (in a roundabout, confusing way). Things don’t go as planned.
The cinematography and action scenes are quite compelling, but the villagers all kind of blend together since they have no distinct features to tell them apart, with the exception of the old man. That and the convoluted worldbuilding/plot make this film as confusing as its title.
Tropes: strong silent stranger; cyberspace is a floaty place your body goes to; baddies have creepy masks; food is dehydrated nutrition paste
It was a manga, it was an anime television series, then it was this movie. The Earth was devastated by nuclear war but also there’s a magic martial arts force called “Big DipperDivine Fist” (hokotu shinken) and multiple characters want to prove themselves to be the most powerful because…well, I guess we’re just supposed to understand that’s important. And you can only prove you are powerful by killing a bunch of people. Oh and also by controlling women. So, that’s the premise.
A couple of kids show up to lighten the tone a bit, and that’s refreshing. There’s kind of a subplot about seeds being able to make the Earth green again but that’s kind of glossed over in favour of buildings falling on people and fingers being pushed deep into manly chests and heads exploding from ‘qi’ or some such thing. Also, some bad guys are literally as tall as a multi-story building, for reasons not explained. I watched the dubbed version so I’m sure there were some nuances that I missed. Plus, I’m not that well versed on Japanese culture. Still…melodramatic and nonsensical.
Tropes: lone wanderer too cool to talk; thrown into a chasm; women as property; psionic powers?
From the director of MASH and Gosford Park comes this confusing look at a frozen five-sectored city where the starving and freezing residents spend their time drinking booza and playing the titular board game. Paul Newman doesn’t like games but he finds himself involved in a whole other game where a group of gamers play a deadly live action version of Quintet using knives and bombs. Also packs of scavenging dogs are all rottweilers for some reason.
Tropes: dogs eating dead humans; random earthquakes