While looking up the excellently named hellgrammite (beware anyone in any of my RPG groups, this name WILL be used) I found this interesting website called “What’s That Bug?” Just thought you might like to know.

ADDENDUM:

I guess someone already thought it was a cool name.

Now I must go draw comics. No time for blog!

A part of me says that I should be respectful and sorry for this poor man, but a much larger and boisterous part of me is saying take note religious nuts.

PS – you’re not stupid, just ignorant. And stupid.

Thanks to Geisel for this one.

How does a Christmas tree worm celebrate the holidays?

Make up your own punchline.

I hate these “what character are you” tests but this one is actually well written and entertaining to an old fan of HPL.

Your Score: Brown Jenkin

In H. P. Lovecraft’s universe you are

Brown Jenkin

Benevolence Inquisitiveness Obstinacy Discretion low high low high This familiar to the witch Keziah Mason is described as looking like a large rat but with a malevolent human face and tiny human hands. Acting as courier between Mason and the devil (not necessarily the devil as known in traditional religions), it was agile both in mind and body, loyal, and secretive. Other than the physical description and the loathsome nature of its mistress, it’s not a bad alter ego; there are certainly worse characters to align with in Lovecraft’s universe. A quick wit and agile hands will serve you well as long as you use your natural abilities for good rather than evil. Oh, and resolve to eat a healthy diet: Brown Jenkin’s tastes are too repulsive to be detailed here. If you really want to know the grisly details of this character, you can read about them in The Dreams In The Witch-House. The image above comes from Dreams in the Witch-House (2005), an episode of Showtime’s “Masters of Horror” series. Yevgen Voronin plays Brown Jenkin.

Similar Entities less inquisitive more benevolent less discrete

Scoring

Your Inquisitiveness score indicates a desire to thoroughly research new activities. This may be a good or bad thing: if it stems from a fear of being ridiculed for a mistake or a mistrust of your own instincts, it’s a drawback; if it’s the result of rigorous training or natural curiosity tempered with skepticism, it’s a strength. In either case you’re more likely to study first and act later rather than move ahead rashly without getting all the facts. In Lovecraftian terms, you’re the person who goes to the library, catacomb, or museum to study the ancient text, or you assemble the scattered pieces of the protective amulet before facing the horror lurking in the shadows. Alas, often it’s reading the text or assembling the amulet that releases the [insert entity here], which emerges to destroy the universe beginning with you.

As I’ll explain fully on the Methodology and Characters page (see link below), there really aren’t any “correct” answers to this test, but some are more incorrect than others. Your Benevolence score is the result of some very incorrect answers. You’ve consistently chosen the most aggressive and hostile of the possible responses, and while your choices may be the result of an antisocial attitude, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and suggest that you’ve been trained to be suspicious, perhaps as part of your job in the police force, army, or somewhere else where a high awareness of threats serves you well. Such people are often either the first or last to die in a Lovecraft story: if they’re not the first line of defense (and thus the first course in something’s meal), they’re often resourceful enough to evade the horror until the final page.

Your Obstinacy score indicates alertness to danger and agility in avoiding it. Having a low level of obstinacy may seem like a good thing to you, but in Lovecraft Land it really just defines the nature of your doom. You’re the character who stays where he belongs, who doesn’t unlock the forbidden door, who doesn’t read the ancient inscription aloud, who doesn’t consort with weird creatures in his dreams, who avoids the sinister new neighbors, who doesn’t drink from the mysterious vial. Too bad: the stuff in that vial would have saved you from Cthulhu!

Your Discretion score indicates ability to keep a secret and go about your business without calling attention to yourself. In the real world that’s a good thing, but in a Lovecraft story it can be fatal. You’re the character who keeps his discoveries to himself and thus precludes any warning or rescue from those who may have unearthed a piece of the Cosmic Puzzle that could counteract the one imperiling you. When you travel into the Unknown, you go alone and tell nobody your destination; eventually it’s just you standing before Something Huge and Horrible on the next-to-last page.

Test Methodology and Complete List of Characters

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The comparisons below won’t mean much because this test only records the categories (high, medium high, medium low, or low) of your scores rather than the exact values, and the totals only include half the possible range of characters. The comparisons at the end of The OkLovecraft Test are much better indicators of how your results compare to those of other test-takers.

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Listening to all those asinine manipulative ads on the radio is souring my xmas spirit. Here’s an idea: instead of spending a day shopping, spend a day making cards by hand or baking treats to share, or spend the day chatting and merry-making with the people you’re shopping for! But if you must shop, my message is to buy local and independent, and especially from your favourite Cthulhu rock band merchant.

Phew! Now that I got that token anti-establishment anti-commercialism propaganda out of the way, here’s my xmas wish list:

More time in a day
Those black plastic VHS tape cases
Stripey socks (not sports socks)

DVDs: Home Movies Season 2
My Neighbor Totoro
Tom & Jerry Spotlight Collection
The Tick (cartoon) Season 1 or 2
Castle of Cagliostro widescreen
Popeye the Sailor: 1933-1938, Vol. 1 (pricey)
Tex Avery’s Droopy: The Complete Theatrical Collection (1954)

BOOKS (not to be purchased at Chapters please!):
A Manual of Writer’s Tricks
The Observation Deck
On Bullshit
Facial Expressions: A Visual Reference for Artists (Paperback) by Mark Simon

AT THE COMIC STORE:
Gift Certificate
Justice
Alias Vol. 3: The Underneath (Paperback)
The DC Comics Guide to Pencilling Comics (Paperback)
DC Comics Guide to Coloring and Lettering Comics (Paperback)
Alan Moore’s Writing For Comics Volume 1 (Paperback) (super cheap)
Graphic Storytelling (Paperback) by Will Eisner
Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud
Comic Artist’s Photo Reference: People and Poses (Comic Artists Reference) (Paperback)
Visual Reference for Comic Artists (Visual Reference for Comic Artists, 1) [CD-ROM] (CD-ROM) by Buddy Scalera (any volume)

Oh look at this silly thing I did! http://tinyurl.com/32v5jp

Oh tomorrow is D&D and there will likely be unhealthy snacks.

This morning I had eating cookies dreams.

I’ve had a large mole on my toe for as long as I can remember, but lately I noticed there are black spots on it which weren’t there before. My physician says it’s too big for him to tackle, so he’s referring me to a plastic surgeon! Maybe I’ll get my chin tucked while I’m there. Anyway, while in his office I weighed myself on that big old traditional scale where you move the weights left and right and I was 183 lbs. Only four pounds to go! I have a feeling those may be the most difficult ones.

Crock Experiment #5: chicken breasts; chicken broth; garlic; lots of salt; potatoes; carrots; squash; pumpkin spice; coconut extract; 5 cardamoms; pepper. Truly, less is more – this is a good one! On LOW for 12 hours and everything’s nice and mushy.

Day 25: Crispy Delights 90 apple 100 granoli 110 granoli 110 apple 100 ice cream 50 vegetarian chili 180 granoli 110 ice cream 50 banana 150 ice cream =1100

After reading this post, Jason wrote:

I’ve been following your food travails with intrigue and interest. I think this post answered the big question that I have had: Why does he eat so badly? A: You’re addicted to junk food.

It’s really too bad that you are so resistant to cooking and/or eating healthy food. There is a vast, and I mean VAST world of amazing flavor and satisfaction out there that crushes your pathetic grocery store 7 layer dip and M&M’s into the dust.

I’m sure that you have heard all this ad nauseum but I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. Kudos to you on the crockpottery experimentation!! Might I suggest cruising the used bookstores …for things like [The Biggest Book of Slow Cooker Recipes]:

I will not deny that I am addicted to junk food, but I would go farther and say that I have an addiction to rich foods. How many of the following would you consider ‘junk food’: chicken shawarma, dolmathes, pita & houmous, fresh pineapple, grapes & cherry tomatoes, butter chicken, chicken korma, thin crust feta-only kalamata olive & sundried tomato pizza, Max’s turkey stuffing, goat cheese on whole wheat crackers, mixed nuts (heavy on the cashews), and anything that’s on the menu at a Mexican restaurant.

Tell me about this vast world of amazing flavour that is also healthy! I have no aversion to eating healthy as long as it satisfies my sweet tooth. I have cooked before. I used to own a few cookbooks and tried making various Indian recipes. I would make pasta with different kinds of sauces. I would make nice soft boiled potatoes with a moderate amount of butter and parmesan cheese. This was all before I found out that carbs were making me fat. I would even boil up corn on the cob – with nothing on it – pretty much until I moved. And even when I order Chinese food, it’s never sweet & sour pork, it’s always chicken with vegetables and cashew nuts. The problem is that I’ll eat several plates of the stuff and then I’ll still want a baklava or ice cream, and I won’t be satisfied with a small portion of that either. It’s not like I haven’t eaten salads and broccoli – I enjoy them greatly and would eat until I can’t eat any more. And then I want a butter tart. I remember two Christmases ago I ate about a dozen mandarin oranges and subsequently refamiliarized myself with the reading material in the bathroom.
The problem is that I’m a glutton. I need a long term gluttony-management strategy.

I left my cookbooks at the old place because they just didn’t get used. There’s a wealth of recipes on the web, and that’s what I’ve been using for my crockery. I saved 17 crock recipes to my computer, and I’ve adapted 4 of them.

Crock Experiment #4 Orange ginger pumpkin spice chicken, merging this recipe with this recipe.

As ushered by Jess and Geisel, I changed the temperature and duration of cooking for this one. I cooked this dish on high but only for the first three hours, because then I went to bed and didn’t want to leave it on high overnight. So total cooking time was 12 hours, 3 of which was on high, the rest on low. And it’s true, the yams definitely are crumbling at the touch of a fork. So – success in that regard!

The contents:

chicken, obviously
butternut squash
yams
onions
yellow bell peppers
can of concentrated orange juice
pumpkin spice
ginger
salt
coconut extract
cumin
pepper

I toned down slightly the amount of ingredients I’ve been putting in. Nevertheless, this was sadly too disgusting to eat, and it got flushed (except for the chicken itself). I think next time I’m going to keep it to the bare essentials.

Day 24: Crockery 150 orange 100 granoli 110 ice cream 25 crockery 100 tomatoes 35 crockery 175 ice cream 25 granoli 220 = 950