Rhinosferatu Roughs – Please Critique for Readability

If you comment on every single panel I’ll be happy. I’m having a few problems with this but the biggest is that for authenticity, since this is supposed to happen during the Third Crusade, the house and the furniture should be uh..Palestinian, or Holy Landish, or Jerusalemish, or Israeli…or whatever (history is my worst subject after sports), and I can’t find anything on google.


2 Replies to “Rhinosferatu Roughs – Please Critique for Readability”

  1. The only thing that jumped out at me — or rather, didn’t — is the eye on page 2 that’s supposed to show that he’s seeing (remembering?) the final panel is oddly placed and I skipped over it initially and only saw it after I saw the final panel.

    Could it be extended all the way across (going over the “yarg, fire” panel) and have both eyes?

    I didn’t really get what was going on — is the rhino in page 2 the one with the crusader cross, or a different one? Where’s the fire from “yarg, fire” from? Oh wait, sunlight? I guess that’ll be more obvious with colour?

    Ok, I’m getting it now. The flashback stuff needs to be more obviously a flashback. And page 4’s “bite” is *very* important and should be more prominent as well. I also passed over that.

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