And if you see your mom this weekend, would you be sure and tell her: “SATAN!!!”
I’m single again, as of Wednesday the 13th.
After a breakup, my thoughts often turn to the fallout. What does the girl tell her friends and family about what happened? What version do they get, and what are things going to be like the next time I see them? Will I ever see them? Do they even get any version at all or is it just “we broke up”, “oh I’m so sorry” *hugs*? Who is saying “I never saw you so happy” and who is saying “I never saw you so miserable.” I think that any version that either side gets is going to be biased by nature, and by time. What I would tell my friends now will be different than how I see things, hopefully a little more objectively, after a year or two has passed. And now that we’ve broken up, I think about what concerns were founded and what were not. Was I getting enough of X or Y? Did Z bother me less than I made it out to, or more? How much will I miss N vs how much I had to tolerate R?
This is one of those things we are not prepared for by childhood lessons. As kids we learn to play fair, play safe and be of good character and those lessons can hopefully guide us as adults, but nothing prepares us for love lost. The ache that is so deep, it seems to transcend all limits of reason.
If doing a little logic puzzle (X or Y minus Z, etc.) gets you through it a little, then puzzle away. I always wrote mountains a god awful poetry and thought that no one else understood this pain.
Of course we all know the pain, unless we have opted to live the cloistered life and I have learned that it is one of the great unifying qualities of humanity. All people share this experience, like birth, puberty and love. Just as the ultimate reality of life is death, love lost teaches us just how wonderful love really is.
Enjoy the suffering while you can, feel the power of emotion, because soon (never soon enough) it will fade and become distorted by memory. Journal like mad my friend, you’ll find it amazingly embarrassing to read latter.
Anytime you wanna get together for a whine session, I’m always available as a champion whiner. 🙂
–michael
We are the champions, my friend.
And we’ll keep on whining ’til the end.
I think Matt Groening said it best: “Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come.”
Breakups suck. Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck in a way that sucks so much that the word suck just doesn’t even come close to doing the depth of emotion justice, so I just use the word suck as a sucky shorthand for it.
However.
The part right after you come out the other side and life, for just a moment, appears to be limitless in its possibilities… that’s a very good moment.
Even if right now it seems like an utter impossibility.
The Groening quote, I’m sooo gonna steal. Thanks Puck!