I Only Have Eyes For You

I just filled out a transplant donor registration form. I’ll send it in regardless, but I really want a message to be able to accompany it, to be given to a person should their life be saved by my organs. It would read something like this:

Hello, I just saved your life. Since you’ve been given a second chance, I think it’s fair to say that you owe me one. And since I’m dead, here is my last request: Don’t muck up the planet. Recycle, take the bus, don’t eat Chilean sea bass…all that crap. You know the drill. Now do it!

But of course they won’t give my list of demands to the patient. On the back of the card is the FAQ which assures the public that this is not a Monty Pythonesque operation where they’ll come into your home and pull your organs out of your live body. Check it:

Q: If I am in an accident and the hospital knows that I want to be a donor, the doctors will not try to save my life. A: The medical team that treats patients is separate from the transplant team. The BC Transplant Society is not notified until all lifesaving efforts have failed and death has been determined. Registering for organ donation will not affect the kind of medical care you receive.

Q: I might want to donate one organ but I do not want to donate everything. A: You may specify which organs you want to donate or not donate at all. Your decision will be respected.

Because I’m saving my pancreas for a special occasion.