Here’s lesson two on stretching & squashing the face. As a bonus, I include sketches of Uncle Eddie Fitzgerald! You can see the photos here!
Today was supposed to be the day that Comet 73/P Schwassmann-Wachmann (phew!) was to impact the Earth and cause tsunamis and whatnot. That is, according to some no-nothing crackpots. It was also Towel Day, for you Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy fans.
Plus, the Enron goons were convicted of fraud and conspiracy and face many years in jail. Which I think is wrong, and I’ll tell you why. I read that the judge “set a $5 million US bond.” I don’t know what the difference between bond and bail is, but I’m going to publicly renew my stance on non-violent criminals. See, some criminals definitely need to be taken out of society and institutionalized, like sex offenders and murderers. Actually they need to be tied to the Tree of Woe, but that is another post. But jail is “too good” for hucksters and corporate criminals. They should be made to pay for their crimes in a way that benefits society. These Enron goons don’t need to be locked up. Clearly they have some kind of business skills and these could be put to use – put back into the workforce.* BUT! the vast, vast majority of their earnings should go into social services, environmental programs, funds for scientific research on the hyena’s pseudo-penis, or combating invasive species, or whatever the prospect du jour may be. Basically, they should be taxed up the wazoo in all aspects of their finances**.And if they can’t pull in their expected profits for someone in their line, then they’re put to work cleaning streets or whathaveyou for 8 hours a day, or as long as will pay for their auditors.
The sentence time should reflect the damage done in monetary terms. It’s said that the Enronalds may have cost billions of dollars, so they’d be sentenced to life in my scheme.
Felons could still live comfortable lives if they are willing to work hard enough–they would get to keep a certain percentage or whatever they can earn over and above their quota–but they’re entered into a semi-communist system where most of what they can earn is going to worthy endeavors.
* heavily monitored, of course.