Some people go bald, or get grey hair, right out of high school. Some people have allergies when they’re kids*. Other people go through metabolism changes sometime in their twenties. For me, the year 1998 or thereabouts is where my body played terrible, terrible tricks on me. Pick a body part, and something started to go wrong with it. I didn’t go bald, but my hair did recede a tiny bit in the corners. That’s no big deal. However, check out this shopping list of ailments that my body checked off across the board:
hair growing out of my ears
super-dry skin on face
allergy to some kind of tree
floaters (“muscae volitantes”)
the dribbles “down there”**
…and I’m sure I’m forgetting something.
*I just realized that my Mom told me I was allergic to Tide when I was a kid. I am certainly not allergic to Tide.
**more on this when I’m not at work
*** no longer could I sleep on the floor in any position I wanted without a pillow.
**** Okay I made this one up.