The Blahs – past present and future

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about time, over the past couple days. The past, the future, the present. What I’ve accomplished, what I’ve wanted to accomplish but haven’t, and what I can still accomplish. What I’m ashamed of, what I’m proud of…regrets and all of that. All because I’ve spent a lot of time cleaning up–cleaning up my room*, throwing away old scripts of movies, plays and cartoons that I’ve been in. Old music tapes. My art career, how it’s been flagging over the past while and how I’m okay with that, because I’m kind of sick of doing the same thing for 10 years. Video game companies look good to me right now.

I’ve also been cleaning up my computer. I have my blogs and sometimes diary entries, and I like to print them out so that in case something goes wrong with the internet and my computer, I have a paper copy. So I’ve been musing over old entries: the shaved crotch woman entry, the poobag entry, holidays spent with friends, important stuff with Marlo, etc etc.

And all because I couldn’t sleep! I went to bed at 1pm after watching an episode of National Geographic on “body snatchers” (parasites) and then I woke up at 6:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep. I remember reading that if you have insomnia and can’t get back to sleep after 20 minutes you should get up and do something. Cleaning my room was it. I did that for about an hour and a half and the job’s half done at most. I had a mug of warm milk just like Dr. Beverly Crusher taught me, and eventually I started to feel that I could go back to bed. Again I just lay there, so this time I put X-Men 2 into the VCR, and drifted in and out of consciousness a couple times. By the time Professor X was mentally freezing everyone in the white house, I was wide awake, so I got up. That was at about 10am.

And I have realized over the past couple of days that I am really tired of this apartment and this neighborhood. I’ve been saying that for a while now actually – is it just the winter blahs? Or do I need to rearrange the furniture again? Or just finish tidying? I guess being in one spot for almost 10 years would make anyone yearn for greener pastures.

*Does anyone else keep their ATM slips? Because I have a box of them and I can’t bring myself to chuck them. Is that weird?

11 Replies to “The Blahs – past present and future”

  1. Toren,

    It’s February in Canada man. It’s just a natural part of the seasonal thing here. Some days we just seem to feel it more than others. If it gets clear out your way be sure to go outside and spend as much time out in Vitamin D land as you can.

  2. P.S. I too keep my Interac slips for irrationally long periods of time. I’m inclined to attribute it to some kind of blunt trauma.

  3. I say….. Time to move! It’ll make all your belongings look brand new to you, give you ample opportunity to re-organize your stuff, and will snap you out of your winter blues by plunging you into a mad panic trying to find boxes!

    As for the interac slips – liberate yourself…. slips of paper are a bane.

    *slapping the dust of my hands* My work here is done….

  4. I thought I was the only one loony enough to print out and save my blog; it’s in a 3-ring binder, like you said, just in case. ‘Course, every time anyone comments, I have to print out the new, updated page. One day, it might be cool to publish such a thing. Or not.
    I also save slips from the ATM, along with deposit receipts. After a year, you might as well discard them, as you will have no recourse even if you DO find an error after all that time.
    I love moving – a chance to reassess your belongings, priorities, and sense of self. Do I really think vampires are as cool as I used to? Why am I saving this box of Pogs? Of course, it’ll all come back around and be worth something to someone, but who has the SPACE for all their historical crap?!

  5. It’s hard to shed my attachment to certain items of crap in my life. I have trouble tossing stuff that I’ve had for a long time just because of sentimental value. Even though…it truly is…crap.

    Good to know that after a year the slips are garbage…I wasn’t really clear on that. Thanks!

  6. A backup can be made of the database your blog is stored in. It’ll be pretty small, given that it’s just text. Plus, it’ll save some trees.

    Talk to your webmaster and/or hosting provider to get pointed in the right direction.

  7. Ahem. That’d be me.

    Every site I have is backed up nightly off-site. It’d take a heck of a catastrophe to lose it all. But yes, a “backup WordPress database” plugin is simple to install and use and will save trees.

  8. “You can’t leave! All the plants will die!”

    It’s time to shuffle the furniture. We could always build that wall to wall, floor to ceiling bookcase. Then it’s kind of like moving, only it’s moving stuff ten feet – you get the benefits of moving (ie organization) and none of the down side (lifting over long distances and cost.)

    I’ve been staring at the wall a lot – I think I can do it.

    And I toss my atm slips after about a month. Most everything has a 30 day rule these days, so after 30 days, I toss them.

    Also, a package was left, unceremoniously, in the mail nook… counter… thing. For you. As I was on my way out and doubling back undesirable, but leaving it there was questionable, I took it with me. It’s about the size of a 45. Record, not automatic.

    I’ll either bring it back home tonight or you can swing by on your way home.

  9. Oh that could be my Illyah Kuryahkin CD!
    I am all for doing some rearranging in the old homestead, if you’ve got the time we can be a dynamic duo!

  10. Awesome! And more than just a little gaypable. But fuck it, we need the shelf space.

    Isn’t Illyah Kuryahkin the Russian psychic Jeffrey Coombs mentions in The Frighteners?

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