A million hit points and maximum charisma!

I think it would be fun to make up a “what non-standard D&D race are you?” quiz, but you better your bottom GP I’m not going to sit down for X hours/days and work out the programming for that. So, just choose your favourites:

drow
tiefling (devil blood)
aasimar (celestial [angel] blood)
genasi (genie blood) – air/earth/fire/water
aranea
centaur
drider
salamander
sprite (grig, nixie, pixie)
harpy
lillend (points if you even know what the heck this is)
medusa/half-medusa
mind flayer (illithid)
ogre/half-ogre
satyr
troll
aellar (winged elf)
blinkling
lizardfolk
gnoll
goblin
kuo-toa
nymph
giant
merfolk
troglodyte
dryad
sthein (elf/naga)
werewolf
woodwose (elf/treant)
bugbear
derro
duergar
formian
githyanki
githzerai
hobgoblin
kobold
orc
yuan-ti

Freud would say "get me out of this coffin!"

I had this dream the other night that my ex came back from Alberta and she was livid that I had not sired a child for her. She demanded that I have sex with her on the spot so that she could have a baby, and rather than argue I said “fine.” I expected not to ever have to see her or the child again once the deed was done. So, that was pretty twisted.

Time Flies

January is already more than half over. I don’t feel like I’ve wasted it, but I do feel like I want to try some new, different things very soon. Any ideas?

Canadians are More Important

You know what really bugs me? Headlines like:

3 Canadians among victims of tsunami

I think that’s incredibly crass. Tens of thousands of people lost their lives in that disaster. I don’t get why the media has to play up the local angle of a tragedy like that. Doing that makes it sound like some peoples’ lives – the people who live in this particular plot of land – are somehow worth more than all the others, and that’s pretty sick.

Four Weeks Worth

Time Magazine named President George W. Bush “Person of the Year” and praised him for “reframing reality to match his design.” [CBS News] Fourteen U.S. Marines were convicted of abusing Iraqi prisoners, including one soldier who used an electronic device to make a detainee “dance.” [New York Times] The ACLU circulated memos, obtained under the Freedom of Information Act, that suggest President George W. Bush directly authorized torture against detainees in Iraq.[ACLU] A new species of monster cockroach was discovered in Indonesia. Adoptees and adoptive parents were calling on Fox TV to stop the broadcast of a game show called “Who’s Your Daddy,” in which an adopted woman has to pick her biological father from a line-up; she wins a prize if she picks correctly.[Reuters] A 9.0 magnitude earthquake created a tsunami that ravaged south and southeast Asia, as well as parts of Africa.[NYTimes] The wave reached from Somalia and Kenya to Malaysia. Thousands of fatalities were reported in the Maldives, Sri Lanka, South India, Thailand, Bangladesh, and Indonesia.[Wikipedia] Three-story waves washed sunbathers into the sea, carried away snorkelers, and swallowed up Hindu ritual bathers celebrating Full Moon Day. A prison in Sumatra was torn open by the tsunami, and hundreds of inmates fled. [NYTimes] Entire towns were turned into rubble. Corpses hung from trees and fences, and the rotting bodies of humans and animals threatened to pollute water supplies.[Reuters] It was difficult to bury the dead for lack of dry ground.[MSNBC] The earthquake was the largest since 1964, and slightly altered the rotation of the earth.[NYTimes] Studies showed that the terminally ill do not, as is commonly believed, hold on to life until major events, like birthdays or holidays, transpire. Rather, they simply die.[Reuters] Other studies found that half of American food goes to waste. NASA announced that a 400-meter asteroid had a good chance of striking the earth in 2029.[NASA] Director Oliver Stone blamed audiences and the critics for the box office failure of “Alexander.” [New Age Media Concepts] Krispy Kreme Doughnuts announced that it has bad credit and that the Atkins diet was not to blame. [The New York Times]

MC Cynic is in the hizouse

Marlo & I were talking about the “MC” in the rap world last night.

Now, in my experience, MC, or emcee, means “master of ceremonies” which is, by definition, “a person who acts as host at formal occasions (makes an introductory speech and introduces other speakers)”, but obviously it is not the same in the pop culture/rap world. I didn’t really know what it meant. Marlo said that, opposed to the DJ, who spins the records, the MC raps. And never the twain shall meet.

Marlo says that the term “MC” as part of a rapper’s name has been in the vernacular for 20 years so I should accept it. But I think it’s overused and that any old slob with a boombox on a street corner can call himself MC Skillless and nobody will kick up a fuss. Well I’m here to fuss. I mean I know you don’t need 7 years of rhyming school and a diploma to be an MC, but it bothers me in the same way that Captain Caveman bugs me. Friend, you’re a lot of things – but you’re not a captain. Of course this comes from a guy who for the most part despises rap (& hiphop moreso). I guess it’s just the fact that it has always bothered me that, unlike playing the tuba or the drums or even singing, anyone can rap as well as the next palooka (no offense to the mute), and so by extension, anyone can be called MC.

Oh he flies through the air with the greatest disease

Marlo read to me some thing about cats with separation anxiety and behaviour problems just need a cat buddy. And to think when Stewie asked about bringing a kitten into our home I didn’t think it was a good idea.

I had dinner with Marmar last night at Cipriano’s, which is a really good pasta restaurant on main. It was expensive, but you basically get two meals worth. It reminded me of an article on watching your weight that informed that your body takes a while to tell you that you’re full, and that if you stop eating before you’re actually finished your big meal, you’ll find that you’re already finished your big meal. It suggested that when you go to a restaurant, ask the waiter to put half of the order in a takeaway before you even get the meal. I don’t think I would ever do that, but it’s a good idea.

Sometimes it's fun to look back

Last year, on the first day of 2004, I found a ten dollar bill on the road. Perhaps a portent for a financially fruitful year? Not so. 2004 was the year of no money for Toren. So much so that I had to get a part time job. That’s the saddest part of all. But 2004 was also the year I got together with Marlo, which is fantastic. My nearly 2-year relationship with Tinessa seems like a different world now. And since then, I had been single for another 2 years. I’ve never really been satisfied as a single person. Every public event – parties and get-togethers – half of the reason was hanging out with friends. The other half (where applicable) was the hope that I might meet a girl. Not just a girl, but the girl. It’s such a relief that I don’t have to wonder and expend that energy now.

I did enjoy being single and spending more time with a varied amount of people, but I’ve been ready to spend more time with just one person for a good long while now, and I’m enjoying that too. I’m sorry if that took anyone by surprise. I worry that some people think they’ve fallen by the way side, and I recognize that in at least one of my previous relationships I actually was forced to give up friendships that I did not really want to give up as part of keeping things going with my girlfriend at the time. But the fact is that although I spend a lot of time with Marlo, very rarely do we set aside time that is just for the two of us. We still do all the things we used to do as friends, with other friends, with a few exceptions that cannot be helped. We play D&D, we have game nights, we hang around and watch movies with Stewie etc.

Last year at about this time I was getting tipsy on…I don’t even remember the drinks. Vodka coolers or something. I got my Cloney McStudent address labels in the mail. I was looking into mentoring. I was watching Return of the King at the Metrotown Mall. I got my flail in the mail.