Chris Woods and I stormed The Normandy* this morning where I had a reprise of my dinner at Denny’s the night before. It was an interesting experience with, as Chris put it, the tiny David Lynchian Chinese maitre d’**, and a waitress who was clearly somebody’s crazy aunt. She was quite astounded that Chris is from Chilliwack. I think I’ll make it my slacklustre mission to try to find the cheapest place to get a breakfast in town. Of course – if you already know then please tell me and my mission will be at long last completed, leaving only the paperwork to do. Key factor will be hash browns. The browned hash at the Normandy was not as good as the home fries from Denny’s, but they were still better than the hash browns at Denny’s. Does that make sense? Let’s have a look…
Shredded hash browns. The worst. Usually undercooked at that.
Hash brown patties. Typically shredded hash browns in a patty form. McDonald’s style.
Tater tots. AKA Mexi-fries if you’re at TacoTime (pronounced teh KAW’ tih MAY). Kin to the patty. Usually restaurants don’t have the audacity to pass these off as hash browns. Usually.
Sliced hash browns. Like the shredded, these are usually underdone. Oh, they’re cooked (sometimes), but their not browned. Sometimes the edges are browned but usually the flats of the brown are soft and white. And then you don’t have hash browns, you have hash whites.
Tiny diced hashbrowns. These are the kind you get at the grocery store. They’re also the kind they serve at de Dutch Pannekoek House. Which is in itself shameful but the worst part is I know people who work there so I can’t hurl my plate across the restaurant in a huff, screaming Dutch expletives.
Home fries/Country fried potatoes. I don’t know how size makes the difference, because if you just triple the size of the tiny diced hash browns, you’ve got the winner. Cut them any way you please – as long as they’re chunky!
* on Granville and 11th, across from the theater (not to be confused with the cinema).
** Maitre d’ is short for ma�tre d’h�tel which literally translates to HOTEL MASTER.