The True Meaning of Christmas

I love the snow. It makes me smile.

I forgot to mention that yesterday I received notice from our dorky (I almost didn’t put in an adjective but then I thought – pff, he’s never going to read this) building manager that all of the storage lockers in the building were broken into. Nothing was stolen from ours, and apparently the only victim of the burglery was the dork. Sucks for him. We didn’t really have anything of value in there except for two fans and my bike, which I haven’t used in at least 3 years. I think the chain needs tightening but I never got around to taking it into a shop. I’d like to ride my bike some times but it can be scary in the big city. Also people look goofy on bikes. There, I said it. That never stopped me when I used it to get to work, but still…people look goofy on bikes.

I got some very nice mail today. One package was a felt Cthulhu doll from Tim Emrick (I posted pics on this blog of them a little while ago). Thanks Tim, I really appreciate it and I will continue to do so! It was very kind of you to send that. The other thing was the DVD of Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath – the animated adaptation of Lovecraft’s short novel in which I provided the voice for the main character. I avoided putting it in all day because I was cringing at the idea of listening to myself voice act badly, but when I finally put it in I was not too terribly embarrassed. Slightly embarrassed, but not as bad as I thought it would be. Apart from that, it’s pretty neat. The animation style & direction surprised me pleasantly, and the music is good but it’s a bit too loud (sometimes it’s hard to hear the voices). Also I think it could stand to have more quiet, music-less scenes. But that’s a minor issue. It’s a very strong effort and I am pleased that I was given the lead role.

Yesterday I printed out the first half of my diaries for the year 2003 (not to be confused with this blog, although many entries from the blog are in the diaries). Sixty-four pages in an 8 point font and that’s only up to July. Come January I am probably going to send out an email to everyone about my experiences in 2003. The first time I did that was last year, as many of you know. It’s very hokum (I was going to say jejune but I don’t know what that means) and lame, I know – but that’s what this time of year is all about. I picture Cinnamon J. Scudworth at his desk writing “dear family and friends, is it possible a year has passed since my last impersonal, over-informative, photocopied holiday update?” to inspire me. So, get your spam filters ready for that one. This year’s will probably be a lot shorter than last year’s though, so be thankful.

And now that it’s over, I present The True Meaning of Christmas (mostly stolen from another website, but pasted & edited here for your convenience).

In Rome, Saturnalia—a holiday in honor of Saturn, god of agriculture—was celebrated. Beginning in the week leading up to the winter solstice and continuing for a full month, Saturnalia was a hedonistic time, when food and drink were plentiful and the normal social order was turned upside down. For a month, slaves would become masters. Peasants were in command of the city. Business and schools were closed so that everyone could join in the fun. In addition, members of the upper classes often celebrated the birthday of Mithra, god of the sun, on December 25. For some Romans, Mithra’s birthday was the most sacred day of the year. In the early years of Christianity, Easter was the main holiday; the birth of Jesus was not celebrated. In the fourth century, church officials decided to institute the birth of Jesus as a holiday. Unfortunately, the Bible does not mention date for his birth. Pope Julius I chose December 25 in an effort to adopt and absorb the traditions of the pagan Saturnalia festival. Holding Christmas at the same time as traditional winter solstice festivals increased the chances that Christmas would be popularly embraced. On Christmas, believers attended church, then celebrated raucously in a drunken, carnival-like atmosphere similar to today’s Mardi Gras. Each year, a beggar or student would be crowned the “lord of misrule” and eager celebrants played the part of his subjects. The poor would go to the houses of the rich and demand their best food and drink. If owners failed to comply, their visitors would most likely terrorize them with mischief. Christmas became the time of year when the upper classes could repay their real or imagined “debt” to society by entertaining less fortunate citizens.

So, next year – more terrorizing with mischief, I think.

I Die In My Dreams

Last night I went out to see p:ano at the Sugar Refinery. I have never had such good luck with the buses (they were pulling up just as I got to the stops at both stops) but it was all for nought as as I waited in line to get in, me and about a half dozen others were turned away. Sold out. Yvonne, Rebecca & Terrence (sp?) arrived shortly thereafter so we went to Blenz to formulate a plan, which consisted of watching Clone High episodes until about 1am.

I dreamt that I died this morning. It involved some secret lab and some forgotten deadly experiment inside a compound (or maybe even a mall) somewhere that a bunch of people and I were exploring late at night. Somehow these deadly human experiments were let loose and they killed me with some weird powers.

Toren’s Video Lending Service

Hey, frenemies in Vancouver – tonight after watching a bunch of Clone High I decided to write down all (or most) of the movies I have on video and DVD. The list is below. Do you have anything that I don’t have? Would you like to do a lending trade? Let me know!

ON VHS:
Akira
Alien
Aliens
Amelie
American Beauty
Apocalypse Now
The Big Kahuna
Blood Simple
Box of Moonlight
Brazil
Bourne Identity
Bottle Rocket
A Bug’s Life
Bridge over the River Kawai
Big Trouble in Little China
Castle of Cagliostro
A Chinese Ghost Story
Clockwork Orange
Comedian
City of Lost Children
Crumb
Conan the Barbarian
Dark Crystal
Day of the Triffids
Dead Poet’s Society
Die Hard
Donnie Darko
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Drunken Master 2
Dress to Kill (Eddie Izzard)
Evil Dead 2
The Exorcist
Fight Club
Forbidden Planet
Fubar
Final Fantasy
Ginger Snaps
Ghostbusters
Godfather
Green Mile
Ghostbusters 2
Ghostworld
Grosse Point Blank
Grave of Fireflies
Happiness
How to Get ahead in Advertising
Heavy Metal
The Hobbit
Hudsucker Proxy
High Fidelity
Joe Gould’s Secret
Impostors
I Married a Strange Person
Iron Giant
Kiki’s Delivery Service (Miyazaki)
La Femme Nikita
Life is Beautiful
Laputa: Castle in the Sky (Miyazaki)
Last Night
Life of Brian
LA Confidential
Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Light Years
Magnolia
Man who Wasn’t There
Matrix
A Mighty Wind
Meet the Feebles
Monsters Inc
The Majestic
Men in Black
Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Movie (This Island Earth)
Other MST3Ks
Naked Lunch
Nausicaa in the Valley of the Wind
Porco Rosso (Crimson Pig – Miyazaki)
Peewee’s Big Adventure
Princess Mononoke
Pulp Fiction
Resurrected
Rushmore
The Ring
Ringu
Safe Men
Sixth Sense
So I Married an Ax Murderer
Saving Private Ryan
South Park
Schizopolis
Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger
The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad
Golden Voyage of Sinbad
Spider-Man
Sexy Beast
Spirited Away
Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan
Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home
Star Wars: A New Hope
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
The Thing
Time Bandits
Twin Town
Toy Story
Trees Lounge
Tron
True Romance
Unbreakable
Vidocq
The Usual Suspects
Waiting for Guffman
Witness for the Prosecution
Withnail and I
X-Men
Secret of Nimh
Yellow Submarine
You can Count on Me
Miller’s Crossing
Top Secret
Time Masters
Lifeforce
Terminator
Panic Room
Powerpuff Girls: The Movie
From Beyond
G.I.Joe The Movie
Fantastic Planet
Transformers the Movie
Ninja Scroll
Reanimator
Citizen Cane
Mars Attacks
The Negotiator
The Shipping News
Hearts in Atlantis
Blow
Finding Forrester
Das Boot
Maltese Falcon
Uzumaki (Spirals)
Tetsuo the Iron Man
The Insider
Donnie Brasco
Mad Max
Dracula

ON DVD:
Animatrix
Army of Darkness
Barton Fink
Best in Show
The Big Lebowski
Blade Runner
Laputa: Castle in the Sky (Miyazaki)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Dagon
Fargo
Gladiator
Galaxy Quest
Justice League
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Miller’s Crossing
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
O Brother Where Art Thou?
Princess Bride
Royal Tenenbaums
School House Rock
Shawshank Redemption
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
A Beautiful Mind

It snowed for most of the day yesterday but now it’s all a-sunning and the snow, she’s practically gone. I had a dream this morning that I was at Chris & Nicole’s (Green Ronin Publishing) playing some board game that I didn’t understand. At the end of it, nobody was quite sure who won. Is this a metaphor for my life?

Another not-so-random thought:
I think The Meta-Four would be a cool name for a band, or a superhero group.

All of my conversational dialogue writing for the ESL books is now done (at least for the book they’re working on at the moment). I have badgered many of you about certain subjects over the past couple months. I appreciate all the help. Here are two samples of the final results.

JUNIOR: Dad, they have an awesome webcam at London Drugs, will you get it for me?
DAD: How about you buy it yourself?
JUNIOR: Duh, ’cause I don’t have any money!
DAD: You should start saving up your allowance in case your mother and I get hit by a meteor.
JUNIOR: If a meteor kills you I’ll inherit the house.
DAD: You’re free to take the house as long as you don’t mind the meteor holes. What have you been spending all your allowance on?
JUNIOR: Stuff.
DAD: Crack cocaine?
JUNIOR: Come on Dad, be serious.
DAD: What do you want a webcam for? Nevermind, I don’t want to know. I’ll start buying you webcams as soon as you learn how to fix my car.
JUNIOR: How about a raise, then?
DAD: Is it your birthday already and nobody told me?
JUNIOR: No but I deserve a raise. Tommy Fielding gets twice as much I do.
DAD: You better start buttering him up since you’re more likely to get the cash from him than from me. You know when I was a boy I didn’t get any allowance at all.
JUNIOR: Yeah and you had to walk two hundred miles to school in the snow, and you ate newspapers for breakfast. I know. Welcome to the 21st century, Dad.
DAD: You know you’re awfully snippy for a kid who’s begging for money.
JUNIOR: Come on….I’ve been doing all my chores, and my grades are up. Won’t you at least loan me the money?
DAD: Oh, I guess so. I’ll give you a loan even though you don’t deserve it. You can pay it back with your allowance.
JUNIOR: Thanks, Dad!
DAD: Wait a minute, how much is this webcam?
JUNIOR: $149.99
DAD: Sweet merciful Christmas!!!

LUCAS: Augh! I’m so mad at the public library.
ANGELA: You can’t be mad at a public institution.
LUCAS: I can and I will!
ANGELA: Why mad?
LUCAS: They wouldn’t let me check out any books because I had borrowed some book on samurai in 1997 and brought it back late.
ANGELA: How late?
LUCAS: Twenty-three dollars in overdue fines late, that’s how late.
ANGELA: Then maybe it’s time to pay the $23?
LUCAS: Maybe it’s time to burn the damn thing to the ground.
ANGELA: You could go to another library.
LUCAS: They’re all connected, you know? They’re all branches of the same big library. It’s like the cola wars – both Pepsi and Coke are owned by the same company.
ANGELA: I don’t know if that’s true. In any case, there are a billion libraries.
LUCAS: A billion? A billion? Your unabashed hyperbole only makes me angrier! I thought that there was a statute of limitations on late fees. Don’t they go away after five years?
ANGELA: Nope, they are like hepatitis C – it stays with you forever.
LUCAS: Except you can’t pay $23 to get rid of hep C therefore you’re metaphor sucks.
ANGELA: Be that as it may, the libraries in the suburbs are not affiliated with the city library. You just need to leave the city.
LUCAS: Hmmm, I could avoid the late fines however that would mean taking the transit out to the ‘burbs. I don’t know which is worse.
ANGELA: Yeah life is tough. Still, you only have yourself to blame for not returning your samurai book on time. Perhaps some ritual suicide is in order?
LUCAS: Very funny.

Origamist Potluck

Holy smokes – the snow! Hooray!
Originally we (Anghold, Marlo & I) were going to go to the PALM (Paperfolders Around the Lower Mainland) origamist potluck tonight, but that’s a snow-go now. (That means we’re not going). Last night I treated (trot?) myself to pizza because, well, just because. It was no gingery sweet yams but it did the job. The Comicshop on 4th is having a big RPG blowout and I’m tempted to go, but I think I will resist that temptation on the grounds that it would probably be in my best interest(s).

I like snow. Some people don’t. I like it, I think, because it’s rare. If I lived in Calgary I probably would not be so fond of it. The Sunshine Market was closed yesterday so I couldn’t restock my Christmasy oranges. I think that’s my #1 plan for today: buy more oranges.

I got practically no email yesterday. I guess everyone is out holidaying. I don’t blame them. Since there was precious little going on internet-wise I actually got some work done. My bosses will be so proud of me! I also re-organized my VHS collection – just the movies, not the cartoons. I keep having this schism about whether or not I should keep the DVDs separate from the VHS tapes, or mingle them all together alphabetically on the shelves. I am going with the latter, for now, but if tradition holds I will go back to segregating them. I still have a bunch of movies in my collection that I haven’t watched yet: Godfather; Grave of Fireflies; Kiki’s Delivery Service; others. I’ve just been waiting for the right time to watch them (that time being when I can actually pay attention to them) and it has yet to come. I checked in on Weetzie, Ed’s cat, again yesterday and picked up some more vids from him: Ringu; Fubar; Meet the Feebles (a weird R-rated muppet movie from Peter Jackson – yes that Peter Jackson); Waiting for Guffman; Cradle Will Rock. The last two I have seen before.

It started snowing around 1:30 this morning so I went out for a stroll in the snow.

If You Love Christmas So Much, Why Don't You Marry It?

I had a dream this morning that Anthony Hopkins came to my house. And that I had a house.

Moving on…

Movies I want to see as soon as possible:

Return of the King
Triplettes of Belleville
Intolerable Cruelty

Movies I am also interested in but theoretically could wait until video/dvd:
Matchstick Men
21 Grams
Mystic River

(Don’t forget, Princess Mononoke & The Dark Crystal are playing at the Placebo on Sunday (28th), and p:ano (the band) is playing at the Sugar Refinery on Monday (29th).)

I went down to Drexoll Games today and picked up a cool monk figure with a spiked chain. I didn’t really know what I was looking for – there were a few that caught my eye, but I decided I didn’t have enough monk minis in my collection. I like it. I also bought an issue of Dungeon Magazine which has some really interesting adventures in it (but only 2).

For posterity, I will catalogue here the really bad joke I thought up while I was walking from Broadway to 4th Ave.

Hugo: I really love Christmas
Buford: If you love Christmas so much, why don’t you marry it?
Hugo: Marry Christmas?

Sorry, it’s all in the delivery.

I had a look at their boxing day sale table. amidst the games etc was a copy of Cults Across America, a Cthulhu board game for which I did art. It’s actually a pretty good game, but it takes a long time to play and it’s expensive ($70). They (Darcy & Tamara, shopowners) tried to apologize to me for marking it down but I wouldn’t let them. When Jeff showed up in the store a few minutes later, he rubbed it in my face that the game was on sale, but then had to apologize when somebody bought it!

While I was browsing through the miniatures a fellow nearby asked me if I had anything to do with Spaceship Zero (the RPG). He asked me if I would run a game of it at his stag party. Yeah, you read right. I thought that was pretty choice and of course I agreed. He hasn’t set a date yet but I gave him my card. I knew I carried those stupid things around for a reason.

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

I got socks for Christmas! Stripey socks! Huzzah!

I am typing this from the home of Anghold, though it won’t get posted until I
get back home. I realized today that my cold has been gone for a while. Funny
how quickly you forget something was wrong with your body when it stops being
wrong. WRONG!!!

I’m helping to make the December 25th dinner. We’re having tofurkey with all
the tofrimmings.

Now comes the list of all the Christmas swag I got (not including cards):

Stewie got me a bunch of miniatures suitable for Spaceship Zero. They’re fantastic and maybe I’ll take the time over the holidays to paint a couple. There are doctors and space pirates and guys in space suits. Some females mixed in the bunch, which is swellariffic. He also got me a book on the making of The Big Lebowski – one of my favouritest films.

Anghold and Hoolie got me an amazing comforter, which blew my mind and is going to go on my bed the minute I get home. Kodos will be excited. I also got the stripey socks in my stocking (socks within socks it’s like some crazy moebius strip) along with a much-needed toothbrush and some licorice flavoured twizzlers to negate the toothbrushing. And earplugs and lip balm and chocolates. I also got a bookmark – you know…for marking books!

What did you get?