Yes, Please Regulate My Asian Bear Bile

Now I haven’t read Bill C-51, but I was invited to the Facebook group to stop it. I read briefly through the description and my bullshit sense went off. First off “Canadian Bill C-51…proposes many changes to the Food and Drug[s] Act.” Fair enough. These are the guys that make sure that the products we buy have the ingredients and nutrition facts listed, expiry date, who made the food and where and when. I have no doubt that parts of the Act are outdated. The protestors maintain that “Among the changes proposed by the bill are radical alterations to key terminology, including replacing the word “drug” with “therapeutic product” throughout the Act, thereby giving the Canadian government broad-reaching powers to regulate the sale of all herbs, vitamins, supplements and other items.”

As well they should. The act is there to keep health risks off the market. All those things can poison you if they’re not properly regulated. If there is a real difference between the word “drug” and “therapeutic product” I’d like to know what it is. The protestor lingo continues:

“With this single language change, anything that is “therapeutic” automatically falls under the Food and Drug Act. There are no guarantees that this won’t include bottled water, blueberries, dandelion greens and essentially all plant-derived substances.”

That seems pretty spurious. Even so, if someone wants to sell me blueberries or bottled water in this day and age, I wouldn’t mind knowing how much radiation and pig hormones they’ve pumped into it before I put it in my mouth. At least then I can decide if it’s delicious enough to take the presumed health risk.

“The Act also changes the definition of the word “sell” to include anyone who gives such therapeutic products to someone else. In theory, a mother giving an herb to her child, under the proposed new language, could be in violation of the new law, and be arrested for engaging in the sale of unregulated, unapproved “therapeutic substances.”

From the bill:

The definitions …“sell” … are replaced by the following: “sell” includes offer for sale, expose for sale or have in possession for sale — or distribute to one or more persons, whether or not the distribution is made for consideration — and, in relation to a device, includes lease, offer for lease, expose for lease or have in possession for lease;”

That’s a lot of lawyer garble to me but no mother is going to be arrested for breastfeeding her baby. I mean come on – get real, people.

As far as I’m concerned there’s not enough regulation for “alternative” and “herbal remedies.” The reason that substances are broken down and put into pills is because no two chunks of willow bark are going to have the exact same concentration of the active ingredient that will reduce your fever and pain. That’s why the salicylic acid gets carefully measured and put into perfectly proportioned doses of aspirin, so that you know exactly what you’re in for with each pill, and can take what you know you need. The pharmacological industry is not by any means perfect but at least it is based on a systematic and measurable practice which I like to call science.

So, in summary, I did not join the Facebook group and clarification of the “sell” definition is requested, oh government of mine.

Here’s the bill (click)

Post-80's Live Action Superhero Films, Rated in Order.

All scores out of 10…

X2 (Wolverine’s backstory): 8
Spider-Man 2 (Doctor Octopus): 8
Spider-Man (Green Goblin): 8
Superman Returns: 7
X-Men (Brotherhood of Mutants): 7
Batman Begins: 6
X-Men: The Last Stand (Phoenix/Mutant Cure/the one with Toren in it): 6.5
Hulk: 6.5
Spider-Man 3 (Venom & Sandman): 6
Iron Man: 5
Electra: 5
Fantastic Four (Doom): 3
4: Rise of the Silver Surfer: 3

Didn’t see: Daredevil; Ghost Rider; Catwoman. Saw Spawn but don’t remember it.
Hellboy and Blade are borderline superhero movies, I don’t include them in the list but their ratings are both 6.

Steven, Kat, The Rest; Trapped Inside the Mess

Crazy fans of the Thickets will know that The Shadow Out of Tim was dedicated by me to Steve O’Shea. The marine biologist of the selfsame song name was loosely modelled after him. If you watch this video you can see him for a brief moment doing what he does.

More about the colossal squid in the news.

The Cost of Rock

I’ve been doing a lot of bookkeeping lately and it’s just too joyful not to share with all of you. So in case you’re a band in Canada who wants to cross the border “by the book”, here’s what you do:

Make sure all 5 of your band members have their American Federation of Musician memberships up to date: $870

Make your P2 visa application to “work” in the US for the itinerary of performances: $320

Ensure that the paperwork gets through on time by either paying a company who does this process regularly, or paying the AFM an “expedited” fee: $1000

Rent a van capabable of taking the band and all it’s gear across: $905 (including gas)

=$3095

Now if you’re getting paid more than that for your show(s), then you’re making money! But if you’re not getting paid at all for the shows (in our case), then you’ve got to make sure you’ll recoup on merchandise. Depending on your costs and markup, you’ll probably need to spend about $2000 on merchandise to cover the above costs and the added costs of making said merchandise.

So that’s about 5 Large. Cross your fingers we don’t get turned away at the border for accidentally packing an avocado in our lunch box.

ps – anyone want to lend us their van and come along with us to PAX?

Meantime, here is a larger version of the poster for the upcoming show. I bought supplies for my new costume yesterday and it should be good!

Stasi "was the official secret police of East Germany"

Thanks, Wikipedia and Harper’s Weekly, now I know something that I didn’t know before. And for why? Because last week Grainy pornographic films made for officers of the People’s Army of former Communist East Germany have surfaced in the Stasi files in Berlin. Other good news is that a triceratops skeleton didn’t meet the owner’s reserve minimum of 500,000 euros at a Christie’s auction so it didn’t sell. If it comes down to less than $100 does anyone want to pitch in? I think it would make a good D&D mini.

A coronal mass ejection is when the sun spews billions of tons of ionized hydrogen and helium into space. Sometimes these CMEs, which I like to call sun sharts, knock out our aircraft control gear and power grids. Here’s an amazing video of one of them wrecking a passing comet. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7348064.stm

Also, every day is Earth Day. But especially today for some people.

And if all that doesn’t have you rolling on the floor laughing, this will. (For those who don’t know me, I’m being facetious. Although how dumb do you have to be?)