Boroscope
Do you think it occurs to people who believe in astrology that it’s like saying that they have no free will (or at the very least their free will is limited/constrained) – that their personality is not dictated by their environment or the choices they make, but rather by the time of the year that they were born? And also – that there are only 12 kinds of people in the world? I don’t get offended by too much, but being asked “what is your sign” is insulting to me–as if you can know anything about me because I was born between…well, I don’t know the dates for Cancer. A lot of the time when someone asks me what my sign is I will tell them a random sign that is incorrect, just to see them make an ass of themself by saying “of course – that makes sense because of X and Y!” Are all Cancers mean like that?

Birthdays

Here is the full press release for Chris’ upcoming show: http://www.dianefarrisgallery.com/artist/woods/ex04/press.html

I can’t wait. But I have to! But, I can’t.

Kodos got a new scratching post courtesy of Kate. I love going to birthday parties where I walk away with presents. It was a combo Kate and Jeff Ranger birthday thing at Kate ‘n’ Theo’s. We talked about cats and Angel and Teddy Ruxpin. I showed up late because I went to watch “Word Wars” at the Pacific Cinematheque. It’s a movie about a Scrabble championship tournament. As a film, it’s good. As an insight into Scrabble, it’s fantastic.

Here at the request of Tamara is a list of things I would not auction off it they appeared at my birthday party. (It’s essentially my amazon wish list except in a more appropriate order):

CDs:
Any CD by Wheatus
Muchas Gracias: The Best of Kyuss
Peace Love Death Metal by Eagles of Death Metal
The Desert Sessions Volume 9 & 10
Maladroit by Weezer
Lord of the Rings soundtrack (any)

DVDs/VHS:
Complete Superman Cartoons: Diamond Anniversary Edition
Kiki’s Delivery Service
Spirited Away
Princess Mononoke
My Neighbor Totoro
Big Kahuna
Raising Arizona

Books:
d20 – A Magical Medieval Society: Western Europe
Tome of Horrors (1 not 2)
d20 Toolbox (AEG)
Any ALIAS or POWERS graphic novel.
Unearthed Arcana (Dungeons & Dragons)
Tales of Freeport
The Diamond Throne (Arcana Unearthed Sourcebook)
Hellboy: Chained Coffin & Others
Professor Wormbog and the Search for the Zipperump-a-zoo

Misc:
Practically any miniatures that look cool – especially of monsters that I don’t already have and “rare” minis like female gnome monks, that sort of thing.
Those black plastic VHS tape cases
Nyarlathotep and/or shoggoth plush doll
Sripey socks (not sports socks)

I walked down to Tribeca on Seymour to see Jen & Norm’s art show there and met some new people, which was nice. It was a restaurant/bar type of a place, so it was noisy and crowded and all the usual things you would associate with that. I spoke with Ron Crown, who I haven’t seen since a party at Norm’s about a year and a half ago. He created Mr. Dink – the cartoon I did voices for. Very nice guy and he has worked on a lot of cartoons including…yes…the Raccoons. Also Ren & Stimpy. With luck, things may pick up in the voiceover department, but probably not for a while yet. After that I was supposed to meet a guy about a longbow – he’s selling a bunch of medieval weapons cheap, so I thought I’d take a look at his stuff. I wandered around to find a phone and I found one, as well as an orange julius, in the Specific Center mall. I got his machine so I left a message and started walking back home. I stopped in at Golden Age Collectibles and there was a guy working the till who I had not seen before. He was the stereotypical opinionated not-a-jerk-but-just-outspoken-enough-to-be-annoying typical Android’s Dungeon comic book guy, so I had a quiet laugh to myself about that while I was perusing the Powers and Alias graphic novels. The Comicshop (my preferred comic outlet) on 4th is having their 30 year sale – 30% off a bunch of stuff. I’ve been toying with the idea of picking up some graphic novels that I’ve had my eye on, like Hellboy: The Chained Coffin & Others and any Powers or Alias books, but I just can’t justify the expenditure right now. I wish there was an ‘s’ in ‘expenditure’ so I could put a $ in there somewhere. Maybe I’ll do it anyway. I just can’t justify the ex$penditure. Especially considering I’m going to be getting rid of a bunch of stuff at my Birthday Auction! Which I think will be on the 25th or 26th of June. Or maybe I should even have it on my actual birthday – which is Monday the 28th. Nah, then people would have to leave at 11 or something stupid. So yeah – Friday or Saturday. All non-pricks are welcome. And also James. Does anyone not know what happens at a Birthday Auction? Just in case you missed it the last several years.

I have a bunch of friends (i.e. you) over for a party. Instead of buying me presents (which is good) you bring whatever you have lying around that you want to donate to the auction block–old books, video games, toys, household items, faberge eggs, whatever. Throughout the evening I auction everything* off right back to you. You get rid of some old unwanted stuff (which is good), you get some new, wanted stuff for outrageously cheap (which is good) and I get all the cash (which is best)! Plus there will be delicious foodstuffs and beverages for all. So start making a pile today – I know I am.

*Of course I get to pick through the pile and keep anything I’d rather not have auctioned off. That’s how I got that lovely bathroom garbage can from Neal. Testify!

Oh I got all distracted. After I left Golden Age I walked to ABC Comic Emporium. They were closed, so I walked back over the Granville Bridge and watched a lovely sunset as I went. Then I got home and watched Ocean’s 11 with a tiny tub o’ strawberry cheesecake ice cream – I had to eat off all that exercise, right? I give it a 7 out of 10 (the movie, not the ice cream).

“Heather Permitting” would be a good name for a band. Or if I was dating a girl named Heather and I wanted to go out with the boys to watch hockey down at the pub, I would say it. Or if I needed to jump through some shrubs. That is all. D&D tonight – must prepare.

Upon further consideration I think moving to Japan might be unrealistic. So – if I move to New Zealand, who wants to come with me?

I am still going to learn Japanese though.

Well I’m up and awake now, and strangely the banging and grinding that started at 9am this morning (for those who work 9-5, that would be the equivalent of 5am for you) has miraculously stopped. They’ll burn for this.

I got a crisp $5 bill in the mail and all I have to do is fill out a survey!

In my younger days, when I was more of a fanatic of H.R. Giger than I am now (although I still love his stuff) I used to think it would be cool to do up my apartment with resinous ridges like you would find in an alien hive. The rooms would have no corners (that way it would also be safe from hound of Tindalos attacks, as the diehard Lovecraftianist knows) and would be dark and eerie.

Failing that, it would be cool to have an apartment done up like the Nostromo’s interior, complete with cryogenic beds.

Third prize goes to this guy in the UK who has done his apartment up Star Trek: The Next Generation style. He’s selling it on ebay. It’s really quite something.

Here’s a quite long but very interesting recent New Yorker article about my favourite chain-smoking, Neil Diamond-appreciating squid specialist, Steve O’Shea http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/?040524fa_fact1 thanks to Sid Swoorch.

And just for fun, if you ever wanted to see what trawling looks like, there are some videos here http://www.greenpeace.org/international_en/campaigns/intro?campaign_id=461050
You’ll have to scroll down a tiny bit. I had to download to my computer for the Real Media file.

An open letter to writers, directors & producers in the movie industry.

Before you release your movie, run it by me first. I’ll save you a lot of pain & heartache from critics by pointing out flubbs, goofs, technical errors, oversights, glaring omissions, plot holes and completely unrealistic bullshit before it ever sees the eyes of the public. And I work for cheap!

I went to three garage/yard sales today but at each address I found plenty of garages/yards but no sales of any kind. Being out in the sun made me want to do something phystical, so I called some people to see if they wanted to go hiking/biking. No takers as of yet. I’ll continue drawing and hoping.

I’ve been watching so many episodes of Batman the animated series (I’m making dubs for Theo) that I’ve been dreaming Batman dreams. I rented a Superfriends DVD from Rogers yesterday and they had the wrong DVD in the case. It made me realize that a great way to rip off Rogers – if you were into doing that sort of thing – would be to switch DVD discs in their cases, rent the thing, and then after you watch it, bring it back and complain that the wrong movie was in the case. They’d exchange discs and you’d be getting two movies for the price of one. That only works for 7-day rentals though.