Author: Toren

What a fuckin’ week this has been!

I’ll be glad when it’s over.

Today is the big day. Rock and roll show at Lester’s Arcade. We couldn’t get our shit together to practice, and I have no idea what Lester’s is like, so I’m a little nervous. I also am slightly perplexed on how to get to the venue – I’m left to using the BC Transit website to find my way around Burnaby. That can never be good. One route: “106 NEW WESTMINSTER STN” ; Arrive at: EB KINGSWAY FS GILLEY ST 7:34p”
Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I got paid today. It’s been a while! A long long stressful while. In the freelance illustration business, you don’t get a regular paycheck, you know. You get paid within 30 days of the book being published, typically. I just got paid for a book that was months overdue. A measly $200 US but it will get me through a few more bills. But another book (Arcana Unearthed) just got published and I got my contributor copies, so that means another check will be forthcoming shortly. Sue & Monte always pay on time, bless their nerdy hearts. I am grateful beyond words that the post office didn’t go on strike. I think I will offer free cookies to postal workers. If you know a postal worker, pass that on. Free cookies at my place.

Hard times for everyone these days, methinks. The US economy has seen better days. I read that Bush will be the first president since Hoover to leave office with the economy worse off than when he started. Damn that li’l bastard. The job market in Vancouver is for shit, as well. Not that I’m looking. But I know people who are.

Still no offers from anyone to help me punkify my hair. I make the frowny-crying emoticon :'(

However I’ve been playing tennis quite regularly with Sheri and Stephane. That is good. That is very good. Finally a sport that is fun! Stephane has asked me if I wanted to join in Basketball but I am trepidacious. Also the court is quite far from my place. That’s the thing about tennis – not only is it fun and healthy, there is minimal travel time which is important to me. If you’re in Vancouver and lurking about the Oak & 12th Ave area – you really should contact me about playing some tennis. What I don’t like about tennis is that sometimes there are other tenniseers on the courts. Now, I like sharing, but not with these jocks, with their “seriousness” and their “skill” – no no no. I like playing goofy tennis (not to be confused with Goofy(tm) Tennis), where nobody keeps score and you’re encouraged to make Clone High quotes or funny squeaking noises when you hit the ball. So anyway – yeah…strangers. You kids get outta my courts! I usually try to play during the least busy times: 4:00 am. Or actually, in fact, to be serious, in the very early afternoon. Usually the tennis jocks are working their 9-5 jobs then so if you’re lucky you get all 4 courts to yourself. Then you don’t have to keep apologizing for hitting the ball into someone else’s court. Accidentally of course (wink wink).

We played a game of Spaceship Zero on Wednesday. Both Jamie’s and James’ character got horribly horribly killed. I won’t say how. It might be a secret to you, the reader. Especially considering I may run the same scenario again tomorrow at the NecroWombicon and then again at H.P. Lovecraft’s Birthday Party at the end of next month.

So, forgive me if I seem a little stressed out. It’s because I am. It doesn’t happen often so try to enjoy it.

And I’ll be back to my regular charismatic loudmouth self in a couple days! I guarantee* it!

* not a guarantee

Hi everyone. I’m not feeling my usual jubilant self today but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let three days go by without a blog entry.

Chris aka Chris Stewart aka Stewey aka my roommate got back from the San Diego Comic Con yesterday, and he brought back lots of nerdy finery. It is good. I’ve also been playing tennis the past couple of days after a 2 or 3 week hiatus. I usually like to play in the early afternoon in the courts right by my house, if anyone wants to join me who isn’t already on my tennis spam list, please let me know!

Also, I have been hemming and hawing (hawwing?) about redoing my hair purple (after bleaching of course). I think the time to strike is now. Can anyone volunteer to help a punk boy out? I have all the stuff – I just need an extra pair of hands to help apply the goop evenly.

Posted on July 20, 2003

Garage Sale Tally / Graveyard Commentary

Can it really be four days since I posted? Outrageous, you must be thinking. And I concur. Never fear, though, I’m back!

This morning I got an email from someone I went to junior high school with, who I haven’t seen or heard from in 10 years. I actually didn’t know him very well, but he reminded me (well, reminded is the wrong word since I have no memory of it) of something that happened back in grade 8. That’s cool. I think everyone should email me to tell me their memories of me, since my own memory is so hit and miss. Then I could compile a biography, which I would then read front to back and wonder how much of it was true. But maybe that has to start with me emailing people I knew back in school and telling them stories. In which case I’d have to find all these people – thank gawd I get spam from Classmates every few days!!! (Bit of sarcasm there.)

But the good news is that I’ve got this blog! So that in 20 years I don’t have to depend on out-of-the-blue emails to remind me what my life was like. I’ve got my writing and your…

This concludes the science lesson portion of the blog entry.

After yummy dinner at the Mongolian BBQ we watched Rushmore. The last several times I’ve watched Rushmore I had no idea who Brian Cox was. It’s always a cool little treasure to learn about a new actor, and then go back to rediscover him in one of your favourite movies. Brian Cox of course was Striker in X-Men 2, and in Rushmore he was Dr. Guggenheim, the dean of Rushmore (I assume). He’s been in tons of movies I haven’t seen but was also in The Ring, Adaptation and The Bourne Identity – all good and very different movies.

Yet how come when I went to Wendy’s for a salad lunch I saw a half dozen old people eating there. I mean – don’t they know better than to drink watered down coke?

Tonight Yvonne and I ate at Wrap Zone. They ran out of bananas because of (I say) some freak who ordered 11 smoothies just ahead of us. But the good news is they gave me a card for a free smoothie. So – tomorrow – lunchtime – see you there. After we finished filling out the comment card at Wrap Zone and walking to Roger’s Video, we watched Rabbit-Proof Fence. They didn’t actually show any rabbits – leaving me to ask, where’s the “Proof“? Not as misleading a movie title as 200 Cigarettes or Dog Day Afternoon, but still – I wanted rabbit proof. The fence, they had, so that was good.

The movie was pretty good. We kept making japes throughout it so we kept missing stuff. But even so it seemed to jump over important things rather quickly and, as Yvonne pointed out, there was an abundance of “close calls”. It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped it would be. Still good though.

Plus Yvonne met Kodos, and vice versa. They exchanged rubbings. Yeah so…that was pretty much my day. Well it was exciting for me, anyway.

Christopher Walken is up for the roll of Willie Wonka in Tim Burton’s new adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Hey, Burton! Remember when you used to do originals? I do. Those were the halcyon days.

Professor Frink, Professor Frink, He’ll make you laugh, he’ll make you think…

There was this guy…heh heh…at acting class…heh…and he was funny. To look at. Anyway, I already told the story to both Stuey and Yvonne so I’m all pooped out on that one. Sorry.

Here’s another story: the washing machine in our building is broken. I suspect it’s been broken for a few days. I put my load of laundry in with soap and everything before I noticed that the money slot was stuck in the ‘in’ position. So I took my load back out and threw it into the bathtub, and washed it by hand. Can you imagine such a thing? How did they do it in the old days? I asked Stuey if he had a washboard and he said “never ask me that again.” Anyway I gave the forearms a good workout wringing out the towels and then I threw them into the dryer – which was working! I feel so industrious. Strangely, in the laundry room were some baby socks still in the package, something that looked like a turkey baster (also in a package) and a bunch of scratch & win cards from Husky/Mohawk gas stations. There was a free coffee crisp, a free coke, a free pepsi, and a free ice cream bar of some kind. I left them down there because there’s no Mohawk around here. Does anyone want them? Actually…that free coffee crisp is too good to leave down there for one of the other cretins in the building. I’ll be right back….

Okay it was a nasal aspirator, not a turkey baster. And the coffee crisp WAS the ice cream bar. Meaning: coffee crisp flavoured ice cream bar.

The building manager’s roommate invited me to a BBQ for the building. I said I’d consider it and tell Stuey. Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa! I could have told her the truth: that I’d rather have botfly squirming in my neck, but I don’t think that would have gone over well. The people in this building are all very scary, with 2 exceptions. Janine’s scary too but in an artsy way so it’s OK. One time I was doing laundry and I let this guy into the building who was buzzing Erin on the main floor. As I walked away Erin or her roommate let him into the apartment and I heard her ask something, to which the slightly audible reply was “freak boy let me in.” So, I know where he stands anyway. It’s okay – I don’t mind being considered freak boy to the pinks. They can say whatever they want as long as they don’t say it to me. That could bring things dangerously close to a conversation.

Here’s a follow up to my rolaids entry:

My dad sent me an email:
Welcome to the Atkinson curse. G.E.R.D. (Gastro-esophogial reflux disorder). Your Grampa treats his with a teaspoon of baking soda in a glass of water (about 4 oz.) 1/2 hr. before bed. I on the other hand take a prescription drug daily called Prevacid. In between these are Pepcid AC, Zantac and/or their generic (cheaper) brands, and of course Rolaids/Tums etc. Good Luck, Dad

Then, my mom added:
…don’t forget to eat mush in the morning, also Dad finds he cannot eat lettuce at dinnertime, it adds to his stomach rumbles at bedtime. And of course spicy food will do it to you. Regular meals is best, don’t forget your fruits and veggies. Eat healthy, oh, and yoghurt is the best thing for you, good bacteria for your tummy.

So I guess that answers my ‘burning’ questions (sorry about that). I guess it’s not life-threatening. I don’t have any trouble with lettuce though. Anyway, it’s good to know they’re looking out for me, their one and only son (after Merrick).

I found out yesterday that my Mom reads this journal. Hi mom. For the rest of you – I’ll try not to let that influence my writing. But there may be less frequent use of the word “cornhole.” Actually – that was the first one, wasn’t it?

I was hoping to get some work done today, but it didn’t happen. I spent most of my normal working hours on a super-secret project. Now some of you reading this may be thinking to yourselves “oh, I know what project he’s talking about” but NO!!!! No no no. Think again: nobody knows about this project from me. Well, kind of. Yeah, I’m going to stick with that.

So – when’s your birthday? No, seriously – when’s your birthday?

Many sumo wrestlers are in fact Hawaiian

I changed my settings so that this blog is on Samoan time. That way, when I do my entries, as I typically do, at 2 in the morning Vancouver time, it will register as 11pm. That way Saturday night will last until I go to bed, which is typically 3am. Hooray for me!

I took a walk out in the rain today. It was refreshing. Still very hot in here but I think that may be because Stuey was running a hot shower for…well I don’t know how long. Long enough for the smoke detector to go off, which is long. He was trying to clean his silkscreening screens. Yes that’s right – silkscreening.

Well, with the banana peel and the water jug rants out of the way, I think I’ve ranted myself into a corner. The corner of having nothing to say. You know – that corner. Variety-wise, I didn’t do much today. I drew. I could have gone to Rob’s birthday party. I could have gone to see Zombie at the Pacific Cinematheque and voted for Graveyard as the best short of Cinemuerte. I did neither, and rightly so as I really need to get these drawings finished. Sorry Rob and Ed. I’ve got so much to do in the next couple of weeks, it’s nutty. I’ve got gaming sessions, movie dates, VGG meetings, band practice, acting classes, possibly play rehearsals, plus there’s that visit from the queen. Meanwhile I’ve got drawing and writing to do. Now, as promised, the beginning of a list of worldly possessions that would make outstanding birthday gifts (you know…should it come up):

Misc:
Any weapons or armor or period clothing that I could use for D&D modelling photos for my art. You know – morning stars and swords and bracers and helmets and shit. Stuff to go in my tickle trunk.
The Nyarlathotep plush doll
Pirate minis for D&D (25mm scale)
lights, light stands, tripods, other photographic equipment

Music:
Cake CDs (any)
Wheatus CD
Newest Weezer CD (Maladroit?)
Gladiator soundtrack
the new Radiohead

Books:
Why Smart People Believe Weird Things
Dungeon Master Guide version 3.5
Astro City #6 (second series)
Hellboy: Chained Coffin trade paperback
Hellboy: Conqueror Worm trade paperback
Dungeon Magazines after issue 95
Tome & Blood
Deities and Demigods
City of the Spider Queen
Powers: Who Killed Retro Girl? trade paperback
Alias (Book 1) trade paperback
Powers, Volume 2: Role Play trade paperback
The Underneath (Alias, Book 3) trade paperback
Life in the Big City (Kurt Busiek’s Astro City) trade paperback
Earth X trade paperback
Universe X (Universe X) trade paperback
Confession (Kurt Busiek’s Astro City) trade paperback

DVDs:
Miller’s Crossing
Superman- The Lost Episodes (fleischer)
Raising Arizona
Complete Superman Cartoons: Diamond Anniversary Edition
Superfriends (I think there are a couple out there soon)

Now some of this crap is way over the $10-20 range. But don’t think for a minute that a used copy of any of this stuff wouldn’t be completely welcomed. I’m not a stickler that way. I’d be happy to get any of this stuff in any workable condition.

I don’t want to be a banana nazi, but…

I’m going to be a banana nazi. I went to the beach avec Yvonne yesterday, and we said hello to many small crabs, in the way that Cthulhu might say hello to you by ripping off the roof of your house and picking you up to see what colour your belly is. When we were satisfied that enough crabs had been greeted thusly, we sat on a log and enjoyed some fruit. I brought a banana. Now it has always been my contention that the proper way to peel a banana is the way that was taught to me by the venerable Tex Avery. Your first instinct may be to grab a banana by the stem (or “handle”, as I just made up) and peel it from there, but consider this: when you see a banana peel lying on the sidewalk, ready to fulfill its destiny, where is the handle? At the top, with all the peel sections radiating out. The handle is the nexus, the very hub, of the whole affair. Like this. So naturally, the way I peel a banana is from the opposite end of the handle (let’s call it the nipple end), so that should I be called upon to initiate banana gaggery, the proper esthetic may be maintained. Sad it is, then, that when people see me peeling a banana starting from the nipple end, there is no end of gasping and mockery. The short-sighted infidels!

Tickled beyond description, was I, when Yvonne peeled the banana…from which end? From the nipple end. She brought up a different (and I’ll admit – maybe a better) reason to peel from the nipple end: often when you yank on the banana handle (that’s not a euphemism) you’ll make the first bite of the banana into a bruised mushy mess. And that’s no good for anyone.

Now the question of preferred ripeness is another matter altogether, and to this end I will simply direct you to Chart 1A. My personal preference leans towards something between colour index 5 and 6. Seven is right out. Yucky poo-poo.

Meanwhile, after the beach we went to this really neato restaurant on Broadway a few blocks west of MacDonald, and it was called………………….(Yvonne? Help me out here).