69 Images That Judge Every Joke on the Orville (And Other Observations)

Hi, I’m Toren, a Star Trek nerd.

Despite the sour taste that Seth McFarlane’s projects tend to leave in my mouth-brain, it turns out that I care about this show. I didn’t expect to like it based on the trailers, but despite the sophomoric humour — which I feel does not fit in with this clearly Star Trek homology and weakens the overall experience — there is a lot about The Orville that makes it worth watching.

Let’s explore, shall we? Episode 1: “Old Wounds”

In this episode Captain Mercer (Seth McFarlane) walks in on his wife Kelly (Adrienne Palicki) having sex with an alien. He is upset about this and goes into a downward spiral for a year until his now ex-wife (spoiler) arranges for his command of a vessel on which she will serve as second-in-command, in a perverse manipulation both on a personal and professional level.

Ejaculation joke! Rating: 0.5 chortles. I found the “chirp” sound that follows to be better, at a rating of 1.0 chuckles.


Not a joke – but a character observation about Captain Mercer. Sure, I get it. – he’s upset, so he doesn’t want to talk at the moment. But it’s apparent in this pilot that he has no interest working through his relationship. Which is just the kind of guy he is. Does this make him a sympathetic character? Sure, his wife “cheated” on him, but does he ever try to do the right thing? Stay tuned…

The visuals in this show are very good for the most part. Kudos to the design department!
I choose this moment to illustrate that Mercer is not qualified to be the captain of a Union ship.


The marbles not minds joke! Not bad, I give this a full 3 chortles – not yet a full laugh.


This line tells us that Mercer is very smart. Right?


3 minutes, 34 seconds in: First dick joke (if you don’t count the forehead ejaculation scene)

The ogre is super friendly. An amusing joke – 1.0 laughs.

To illustrate that helmsman Gordon Malloy is a roguish chap, he tricks the ogre and beheads him. 0.1 laughs.

Malloy also drinks beer while he’s flying a shuttle. The joke falls flat but there is charisma in the delivery.

0.0 laughs.

The music in this show is excellent and kind of catchy. Another positive mark for the show in general.


Lt. Alara is young, inexperienced and super strong. If I was casting this show, I would have cast her even younger, like maybe 13 or 14. I think that would have made the contrast more ripe for comedy, and then the writers (McFarlane) would have to come up with jokes that steer clear of sexism, which I think would be a nice challenge for them/him.

Slightly amusing. 0.1 laughs I guess?

If the entire species is male, then there is no female and there is no male, because there is no gender differentiation. Are they hermaphroditic like banana slugs? If they lay eggs (we are shown later that they do) then rather than male, wouldn’t they all be female just like whiptail lizards?

This one gets 0.0 on the humorometer.

It’s the acting on this joke that gets it 2.0 chuckles.

I note that the doctor has a degree in psychology because Mercer and Commander Grayson really need a qualified counsellor if they are going to work together in a professional relationship on a Union starship. In fact, if any Trekesque series needed a Counsellor Troi, this one does much more so than Star Trek: The Next Generation. What are the policies on crew fraternization on Union ships, and more importantly, the mental fitness of a commander who has an extremely volatile relationship with his second in command? Are we to believe that the Union would send this ship on important missions while the two highest officers have a dysfunctional if not hostile relationship?

A testicle joke! 0.1 chortles.


I want to point out that Isaac is supposed to be “objectively superior” to humans. Sure, it’s his own claim and nobody else’s, but let’s put a pin in this and come back to it in a future show.

Lt. Malloy has a little fun with navigator John Lamarr. 0.0 laughs.

Minor Quibble Department: Am I the only one who thinks that the bridge is too large?

Again, great visual effects on this show. Really nice.

Delivery on this joke is excellent. 2.0 laughs!

Continued (and concluded) in PART TWO – click here!

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