My Answer is Eerily Similar

From Skeptic Etiquette:

What exactly is the polite response when someone at a dinner party asks, “What’s your sign? I bet you’re a Taurus!”

The last time this question came up was at birthday celebration with my neighbors, at the bottom of the third bottle of wine at a tapas bar.

After listening thoughtfully to my dinner companions each explain how they were like their signs, it was my turn to answer.

I said, “You do realize that Jupiter and some random stars have no effect at all on you, right? I mean, why is it that you’re protected from the magical personality rays of the constellations when you’re buried a few inches deep in flesh and fat, but the second you come screaming out of your mom, the magical personality rays pierce through the brick, mortar, insulation, tile, and electrical wiring of to the third floor maternity ward of the hospital in which you have emerged to touch you with the magical essence of “Taurus,” you stubborn little baby bull!”

I am a bummer at parties.

Actually what I usually do is lie about what sign I am and wait for the person to say “oh yeah that makes sense because blah blah blah!” Because as we all know everything about horoscopes and the zodiac is so vague that chunks of any one sign can apply to anyone. Simple confirmation bias and pattern recognition.

I wonder if someone has made up an internet quiz that tells you what astrological sign you SHOULD be based on your personality? That would be a good one.