Toothpaste Illuminati

I bought a 4-pack of Colgate (my favourite white man’s brand) “LUMINOUS Enamel Strengthening” toothpaste and the packaging and gimmickry has just gotten out of control. Apart from the regular flashy graphics on the box, it also has a kind of reflective sheen which flashes as you move the box (or yourself) around. Secondly, there is a “Scratch n’ Sniff” (“Grattez et Humez” en Francais) on each box so you can get a little preview of the taste. Open up the box and the tube also has that whacky sheen effect and a special flat top cap. I flipped it up and the hole is…I don’t know how to describe this…it’s got something like an extruder pattern for the Play Doh barber shop so that your toothpaste comes out in the shape of a cross. BUT in order to get any toothpaste I had to twist the cap off and peel the foil off the top of the mouth and then twist the cap back on! Come on guys, is all that really necessary? Couldn’t you have taken the money you spent on all the frills and given us another 50 mL of the tooth detergent?

2 Replies to “Toothpaste Illuminati”

  1. “I flipped it up and the hole is…I don’t know how to describe this…it’s got something like an extruder pattern for the Play Doh barber shop so that your toothpaste comes out in the shape of a cross.”

    …And he said “This is the paste of Colgate, extruded for you.”

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