The New Number of the Beast

After Marlo and I saw Revenge of the Sith for the second time we realized that R2 and 3PO were responsible for Padme’s death. We wondered, how did the droids move a human body? 3PO is pretty useless and can’t really bend over, and R2D2 can only push a body in front of him, rolling the body over and over, or shoot that grappler thing out the back (which plunges into her rib cage) and then drag the body along. So they probably did that last thing, and her head kept bumping into the walls of the ship. Then R2 reprogrammed the medical droid to say “she simply lost the will to live.”

Recently, while drawing, I’ve been watching Tony Robinson (Baldric from Black Adder) talk about – and do – the worst jobs in history on the History Channel. Not only was it interesting to learn what the oldy timey people did to get by, but I learned the origins of a whole bunch of idioms, like “show you the ropes” and…okay I forget all the other ones. But it’s okay because I taped the entire 6 hour series. The best stuff was in the dark ages.

Down with the pope: Did you know that in 2001, Pope Benedict Whatever ordered Catholic bishops to hide allegations against pedophile priests from the public? Let’s hear it for the church.

Also, A papyrologist at Oxford University announced that new techniques in spectral imaging, which make it possible to decipher previously illegible ink on papyrus fragments, have yielded parts of a lost tragedy by Sophocles, a novel by Lucian, and an epic poem by Archilochos; researchers also applied the technique to third- and fourth-century manuscripts of the Revelation of Saint John and discovered that the number of the beast, contrary to popular belief, is 616, the area code of Grand Rapids, Michigan.

5 Replies to “The New Number of the Beast”

  1. I could never understand how people could be scared of a number. It’s like being scared of Hitler’s social insurance number or his condo number. Fear the dude not his mailing address! In a related mistranslation story I read somewhere that the whole notion of christ’s mother Mary being a virgin was a mistranslation while the bible was being translated from aramahiac(sp?) into Greek . It seems she was merely a ‘young woman’ in the aramahiac version but the Greek word for ‘young woman’ and ‘virgin’ are the same. Apparantly the immaculate conception thing was just some monk forgetting to run a spell-check.

  2. another way they could have moved the body is that R2 could have shocked Padme with his bug zapper extention in just such a way that Padme’s unconscious form ‘twitched’ in reaction to the shock in just such a way as to be directed around the ship and into the sick bay. OR he could have used his oil sprayer to lube up the ship floor and then blow Padme along the floor with the previously unscene (but soon to appear in the DVD release of Revenge of the Sith) fan extention.

    I hated R2 from day one. I really hate him now that he’s a cheap Inspector Gadget knock off.

  3. My understanding was that 666 was a common symbol in hebrew apocalypic writings, as the number 6 is considered “imperfect’ (unlike 3 or 7 or 40) like the six water jugs at the wedding feast that Jesus turned into wine (he could party), so the number 666 was thought to be a symbol for extreme imperfection. Like the number 144,000 not being a literal number, but a smbolic number for a vast number of people.

    Where did you see this story?


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