Armageddon Outta Here!
I just woke up so I’d better get this down:
I dreamt that there was a cult that was trying to bring about the Clearing Off – for those of you not familiar with Lovecraft that is when the continent of R’lyeh rises from the sea and Great Cthulhu wakes to prepare earth for the coming of his fellow Great Old Ones. So I was mixed up in this throng of cultists, all wearing cloaks and robes, and they were all listening to the high priest who was actually some sort of horrible monster. Then they noticed me and the girl I was with (I don’t remember her identity – she could have been someone I know from life or could have been some made-up dream girl) so we were chased. We ran into this tiny porta-potty-like bathroom and they were trying to knock the door down and catch our feet with wires under the door. We found some ratty cloaks – or clothes big enough to pass as such – hanging above the crapper so we put them on. Presently the cultists seem to lose interest so we opened the door. They were all heading towards the piers just down the road – they needed to be in the water to perform the rest of the ritual. It was then I noticed that the cultists weren’t all human either. Some of them had tentacles for legs and others had wide, needle-tooth grins and beady, inhuman eyes. We kept our cowls over our faces and tried to blend in with the throng.
When the bulk of the crowd started heading into the water I doubled back – I had by this point lost my companion. I went back into the lot in which the sermon had taken place. I heard chanting and looked up to see the high priest, who was in fact some other mythos entity like Bugg-Shash or Zoth Ommog or some other indescribable beastie, overseeing some sort of activity from the top of a wall. From behind that wall came a stirring, and great bellowing noises. I knew then that none other than Cthulhu himself was floundering to life on the other side of that wall. I got the fuck out of there. I tried to sneak away but Zoth Ommog heard me and tumbled down on his formless limbs to come and “get me.” I ducked into a tangle of debris, found a dark alcove and sat perfectly motionless. I watched the horror’s shadow pass by and over me again and again. I could feel him gazing into the area until by a force of will my hiding spot would be uncovered. I hoped that something would distract him and as if by my own force of will, creatures started appearing out of nowhere as if I were casting Summon Monster I (from D&D, folks). Whatever the source, I took advantage of the distraction and fled.
This was it – the end of the world, and I was left to figure out how to survive. I started climbing around and eventually found a warehouse where they were storing a series of cyclopean stone statues of Cthulhu. As I watched, they started shifting, and the urgency rose. I realized that the land I was standing on was likely to sink into the sea, so I started searching for a boat and some kind of provisions. The docks were abandoned of human life, so I managed to find scavange pitchers and filled them with tapwater, and I found a big bag of trail mix, but all I could find for a boat was this large metal raft that looked like an oversize cookie tray.
I don’t remember anything past that – I think I woke up. Will Toren survive the great cataclysm? Maybe I’ll get to dream up part two tonight.
In trying to think up a title for this entry, I came up with some new words
Carmageddon – a pile-up on the freeway
Farmageddon – a documentary title for an expose on how farming in American ain’t what she used to be.
Harmageddon – a series of Indian burns, charlie horses & pink bellies in grade 5
Dharmageddon – I don’t know
Karmageddon – see dharmageddon
Marmageddon – the creator of Marmaduke goes crazy and starts cartooning the myriad ways in which the greate dane could die.
Parmageddon – you open the fridge and the parmesan cheese falls out, spilling all over the kitchen floor.
Tarmageddon – two trucks carrying barrels of roofing tar collide head-on.
Warmageddon – the period when the sun juuuuuust starts to go Nova, but you think it’s nothing more than a hot summer day.