Orange you jealous of my new warmups?
I like everyone at the Sunshine Market except for one lady. She’s the lady who’s always trying to sell everyone lottery tickets and yadda yadda, although I think she gave up trying to sell them on me. Anyway, I bought a large bag of mandarin oranges the other day and she said “why don’t you just buy them in the box”
I said “I like to hand pick them all” instead of what I was thinking, why don’t YOU just buy them in the box?”
She said “are you worried you might get a couple of bad ones in a box?”
“Yes” I replied curtly.
“If you get any bad ones you can bring them back and we’ll exchange them.” she offered.
“That’s nice, but shut up.” I didn’t say.*
“Also, they’re cheaper in the box.” This last statement I didn’t believe, so I checked the prices of the mandarin boxes behind me. The cheapest one was $5.99. I paid about $5.40 for my bag of hand-picked beauties. I took my bag of oranges home and found an empty mandarin box that Stewie had bought several weeks ago. I dumped the oranges into the box – my $5.40 worth of oranges wouldn’t all fit in the $5.99 box – so next time I’m at the Sunshine I can rub that in Mrs. Lottery Ticket’s face at the same time I bring up the fact that they’re out Tootsie rolls still.
When Stewie observed my experiment he told me I can never make fun of him when he does his own kitchen experiments. But really I never make fun of him in the traditional sense – I just look at him like he’s from Io.
*Besides – why would I take the risk of having to haul back some bad oranges to the store when I could just make sure my produce is within acceptable perameters when I buy them? I ask you.