I went swimming last night in Coquitlam with Ang Hold.

I have not been in a public pool since the mid to late eighties. That means that I have not been naked in a change room filled with other naked men in a like amount of time – to the tune of 15 years. Until last night. Suffice it to say, it was a stark contrast to my entire adult life experience. Now, I’m not against naked men (and certainly I’m not against naked women – though I’d like to be hahah), although, you know…if for example Shawn the guy who lives across from my apartment in 304 decided he was going to walk around the halls with no clothes on, I would probably be less enthusiastic to go check my mail…but I am rather self-conscious. So seeing people’s dinks hanging out was, while surreal, not necessarily offputting. However, having my own dink hanging out – I’m not used to that. My organ and I, we spend a lot of time together, but it’s pretty much all private time. Thrusting us into the limelight, so to speak, gives us a bit of stagefright, especially since the last time we’ve been in that limelight was during the most awkward time of my life…good old puberty. I was a late bloomer, you see.

So…traumatized? Yes, a little, thank you. But am I giving up? Hell no. I’ll go back. Swimming was good exercise and fun, especially with Ang Hold there to hide behind and to teach me swimming techniques. It’s been a long long time since I’ve been in the water and I miss it. I knew I missed it before I even went in last night.

In the early nineties I lived on Cultus Lake 9 months out of the year. I would go swimming by myself (Aquaman on Superfriends obviously failed to get through to me how bad of an idea that is) in the afternoon. That was when I was taking an English course in college, writing boring essays on A Modest Proposal. One time I went swimming and when I got home I threw up. Wasn’t sure why. The next day I went swimming again, and again when I got home, up comes the vomit, (like there’s any other direction for vomit to come). Did I have some kind of weird condition? Was there something in the water? No, I suddenly realized, it was because both times I had a luncheon meat sandwich before I went swimming, forgetting the cardinal rule not to go swimming until a half hour (is that right?) after you’ve eaten. Lesson learned.

Today I saw Pirates of the Caribbean. I’d give it 7/10.