As soon as I walked in the door of Jeremy’s housewarming I was doomed. Dolmathes, olives, houmous, dark chocolate, homemade peanut butter cookies with peanut reese’s pieces, cheese w/ rosemary crackers, and introducing the Parthenon’s “God’s Dip” – essentially a Greek salad in a dip. So today I blew the diet, willingly and openly. But even though I went well outside the restrictions I’ve set for myself, I didn’t eat nearly as much as I would have if I weren’t on this diet. Still, I feel I’ve revisited the place where I am at my weakest and simultaneously my most comfortable. The place where I am the most satisfied for a short time and then I am the least satisfied immediately afterwards.
Hello, place.
It’s funny-peculiar how on one level I want to be in that place so bad, but on another level it makes me sick to think of it. In that moment when I’ve come home from Safeway with a bag of peanut M&Ms, double chocolate cookies, corn chips and 7 layer dip and lemon houmous, and maybe a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, that’s an exciting, heavenly, fulfilling moment. And then when the bags are empty and I’m full to the point of feeling queasy, I am in the moment of regret, shame, and reprobation. And every moment of the day when my mind is not occupied with work or similarly engaged, loading up on the sweets and treats IS ALL I WANT. I mean how do you manage that, really? I know that my current starvation diet isn’t really addressing the problem – more like it’s addressing the fallout to the problem – but I honestly don’t know how to fight it.
Is part of the solution to stop buying my own food? Should I shell out for someone to prepare all of my meals? Is there going to be a time when I don’t crave nachos with guacamole and kalamata olives, or butter chicken, or a DQ Blizzard? Because I’m pretty sure that the only reason I’m able to stay on this diet is because I know that said treats are in my future, and the sooner I lose these last 6 lbs the sooner I can put these delicious treats in my mouth and unintentionally begin putting the weight back on.
Paul and Jeremy and I were talking about exercise tonight. A variety of sources say that biking is good for you but helps not at all in losing weight. Is it true? If so, where’s the justice? Jeremy works out at a gym and as I mentioned I cannot stomach that (bit of a pun there). Paul champions the miracle of Chuck Norris’ Total Gym, which I’m considering. You can get them on Craigslist for $150-200 so I figure I could try it out and if it didn’t work out, sell it on Craigslist for $150-200. Kind of like a free trial with hassle. I could also get an exercise ball and try to conquer my lack of motivation. Alternately: sports sports sports sports. Indoor soccer in 2008? I did enjoy the summer of tennis. Problem is finding the right groove in terms of people, scheduling and location.
Moving on….
I had to walk down to Safeway today to get groceries. Walk! Can you believe it? Too treacherous for bike riding, especially since I almost got murdered yesterday going down a hill and trying to break as a car came towards me. Don’t tell Mom her favourite son almost DIED. Speaking of treacherous, I had to buy my chicken at Safeway, which normally I wouldn’t do, but I just didn’t have time to go to the butcher. I think I’m going to try my orange juice/pumpkin pie spice/butternut squash recipe tonight. And I’m going to put it on HIGH. OVERNIGHT. I hope I don’t burn the house down.
Because I couldn’t ride my bike I thought wouldn’t it be a good idea to go around the neighborhood and offer to shovel people’s walkways for free? That would be good exercise, and it would be serving my bourgeoisie community. Unfortunately them comic book pages ain’t gonna ink themselfs, so my muscles will atrophy as my inking skills grow (in theory).
Day 21: ice cream 125 granoli 130 banana 200 granoli 110 apple 100 granoli 110 vegetables 125 chicken 200 = 1100 calories
Day 22: ice cream 140 granoli 110 apple 100 banana 200 granoli 110 chicken 250 ice cream 25 granoli 220 = 1155
Day 23: ice cream 25 granoli 220 orange 100 ice cream 25 + FAILURE
I felt (feel) the same way about smoking.
BTW: are you putting enough salt into the crock? The kinds of foods you normally eat contain a lot of salt. Without it, the crock food may not feel as flavorful.
I’ve been following your food travails with intrigue and interest. I think this post answered the big question that I have had: Why does he eat so badly? A: You’re addicted to junk food.
It’s really too bad that you are so resistant to cooking and/or eating healthy food. There is a vast, and I mean VAST world of amazing flavor and satisfaction out there that crushes your pathetic grocery store 7 layer dip and M&M’s into the dust.
I’m sure that you have heard all this ad nauseum but I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. Kudos to you on the crockpottery experimentation!! Might I suggest cruising the used bookstores or Book Warehouse for things like this:
http://tinyurl.com/2c2muh
The “Body For Life” book suggests an “off day” in its routine where you can eat whatever you want. It suggests that you should do your grocery shopping at the end of that day because you will be far less tempted to bring home unhealthy snacks.
Your diet doesn’t contain the intense exercise of Body For Life, but perhaps a minor version of the “off day” and then buy groceries for the week would work for you.
The “off day” sounds like it’s worth trying.
Generally speaking, grocery shopping at the end of a day (a ‘regular’ day) is a BAD habit for me. That’s when I have my worst cravings and when I buy the worst food (again under regular circumstances). I would go to Safeway at 11:30pm and buy the junk food I listed above.
That’s exactly the reason that Puck’s suggestion works. Why go to the store when you’re at the nadir of your crave/torture cycle?
Biking won’t help you lose weight? Poppycock. More calories out than in will “burn” fat. However, how you choose to cycle will depend on your results.
First of all, you should be biking for at least an hour a session at least three times a week. You want to get your heart rate up and keep it up for a prolonged period. Remember, any time you get the heart rate up through exercise, you are helping your calorie burning cause. However, if you really want the cycling to have a noticeable impact, you need to do it regularly and for a fair length of time. Don’t give up early either. Those are the hardest times. Once you get into the swing of it, it gets much easier.
Second, you need to decide how you want to ride your bike.
Want to ride at a slower pace? Then prepare to couple your exercise routine with a healthy diet. A leisurely pace will burn calories and get the heart rate going but it won’t burn as much fat. In other words, there will be less calories burned cycling (riding at a slower pace). This is offset by less calories taken in (controlled diet).
Prepared to ride at a fast pace? Relying solely on the cycling alone to burn off all that unwanted fat? Then you need to go on harder rides (pedal faster, go up hills etc). You ride harder and it will burn more calories and will also build more muscle which has the added bonus of making you look fit. At least your legs will be muscle-y. You’ll need to do upper body and core training to see more muscle tone in those areas.