What a full week it’s been so far – way too full for blogging so it must be in point form:
– They upped my meds! Prescription for Tylenol 3 with codeine for my brain crushers, plus Doctor signed my passport photo.
– Got the upgrade on the toy commercial – I will finally have dentist money!
– Cereal came in from the UK – now I owe Tony big!
– Recording for Shadow Out of Tim is FINITO. Mixing this weekend. Then I have to paint the painting for the cover.
– Totally have to rework the thumbnails for my comic – too much content. Too busy. Too compact.
– Joyce got me the Hellboy Animated DVD for Valentine’s Day! She loves me YES!
Your dialog for the comic pages is really good, I expect it would read as a good screenplay. As far as a comic script goes though, the number of interchanges between characters really ups the number of panels you need. Currently there’s not really room to breathe in the page compositions. I would suggest reducing the number of details that the characters are discussing, and cutting in half the interchanges between those people. Instead, focus on characters going of in long rant-form, for exposition, rather then verbal “ping pong”, which sounds really neat in text, but makes for a lot of “reaction” panels. For examples, warren ellis’ “New universal” is crammed with jargon and ideas, but characters mostly express them all at once, and get stopped by others rarely (although poignantly). Bendis likes to do the cut-off interjections in “Daredevil”, or currently “The Illuminati” but mostly it’s a lot of small talking head shots going back and fourth, or a couple panels crammed with dialog.
To help avoid this problem I would suggest actually writing in short form some of the words that are going to occupy the word balloons (I know not all comic artists do this but it helped me a lot) It will give you a better idea on budgeting your space.
Still, I really like the content of your story. Awesome!
Maybe you need a new glasses prescription to alleviate your headaches, or a good head massage, or less time on the computer, even. hugs a lot, MOM