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Xena

“The last full planet to be discovered – in 1930 by US astronomer Clyde Tombaugh – was Pluto. But recently some astronomers have campaigned to have Pluto downgraded to ‘minor planet’ status. It is so small – its diameter is a mere 2,200 kilometres – that it is unworthy of the status of full planet, it was argued. This bid was finally rejected after heated scientific debate.

But now the discovery of Xena, which is only slightly bigger than Pluto, will re-ignite that row. Both Pluto and Xena are components of the Kuiper Belt, which is made up of thousands of small asteroid-like objects, many mere lumps of rock, that sweep the outermost depths of the solar system. As members of the Kuiper Belt, neither Pluto nor Xena should be rated full-fledged planets, it is argued.

The trouble for astronomers is that they do not have an exact definition of a planet. Many say that, if Pluto had been discovered today, it would not have been called a proper planet. “

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DeviantART

Oh here’s something else I forgot. Marlo convinced me to get a DeviantART account (which I pronounce Devian Tart even though there’s no room or time for spaces in this crazy world), which I think was a pretty good move and she also helped me upload a bunch of pictures so she gets extra hugs. It’s amusing to see what other people comment on my various drawings and just my site in general, more so when they are ESL and I can’t understand what they’re trying to say.

Here’s my gallery: http://torenatkinson.deviantart.com/gallery/

Still more news:

Toyota announced that it would open a new $800 million plant in Ontario. The company turned down hundreds of millions of dollars in subsidies in the United States because, when compared to Canadians, U.S. workers are too hard to train, often illiterate, and expensive to insure.

A Japanese man recited 83,431 digits of pi.

A member of Britain’s parliament identified himself as a Jedi, and A woman in Florida won the right to bare her breasts in public.

In New Zealand a baby boy undergoing penis-enlargement treatment was accidentally given ten times the recommended dose of testosterone by his nurse, causing the boy to become angry and irritable and to develop pubic hair. A doctor warned that the baby might also suffer from painful erections, but that problem had yet to arise.

President George W. Bush gave a nationally televised speech about the war in Iraq to an audience of soldiers. Bush, who served in the Air National Guard, said there was “no higher calling” than military service and mentioned the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks five times. After the speech, there was some question as to whether the soldiers had clapped enough.[The New York Times] The U.S. Army, having increased the maximum enlistment age from thirty-four to thirty-nine and the maximum age for officer candidate school from twenty-nine to forty-two, having offered $20,000 more for college per soldier, and having lowered its recruitment goal for this June by more than one thousand as compared to the previous year, announced that it had exceeded its June recruitment goal by 507 soldiers.[CNN.com][USA Today][The New York Times]

Scientists in Pittsburgh killed a dog, then resurrected it hours later with fresh blood.

China decided to outlaw sexual harassment,[BBC News]

In Kota Belud, Malaysia, a Kadazandusun Chief Bobolian urged people to stop dressing animals in costumes because doing so offends the spirits and could turn a longhouse to stone.[Daily Express]

A sixty-million-year-old venomous mouse fossil was discovered.

Two Brooklyn, New York, teenagers were arrested for killing a fifteen-year-old boy for his iPod.[The New York Times]

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Wednesday is a whole new day.

One thing I forgot to mention about my bike ride with Marlo on the weekend is that we stopped into the SPCA to look at cats, just for fun. There were definitely some cuties there. But, Kodos is still my favourite soft furry funny retarded noisy cat. For now.

This morning I had a dream that I was back in high school, but I was an extrovert instead of an introvert, without any of my inhibitions. So much that I just sang and danced as I walked down the halls, and the teachers hated me. And if I liked a girl, I swept her off her feet instead of keeping it to myself like I actually did. So that was a fun dream.

Last night Graeme and Marlo and Geisel and Geoff came over and after watching a bit of Eddie Izzard ‘Dress to Kill’ we played Heroquest and everyone died. The quest specifically said “work together” but they refused and they got there just desserts with whip topping and a cherry. Then I took photos for my zombie vs S.W.A.T. painting, which will be fun.

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Summer's Here and It's Time to Shut Up

In my many hours of daytime TV I see a lot of commercials. I hate commercials, as you all know. The mute button is wearing out on our remote control. However, some things get through. I’ve noticed a few trends this summer:

1. Commercials that start out with “Summer’s here and it’s time for…” buying our product. Kentucky Fried Chicken and I think Red Lobster or some steak house are the two main guilty parties. What a pointless tag line. Do people only eat chicken in summer?

2. Mr Devo’s music from Life Aquatic is being bastardized. Case in point: the Skittles and Nestea commercials.

3. Um…I guess that’s it. Except that commercials stink. The only one I don’t mind is the Holiday Inn commercial with the guy who has his best ideas in the shower. “Proving that my client is innocent!” in court wearing only a bath towel. I can never forgive commercials for their cleverness, but I find the actor quite adorable.

Oh and fucking babies running around to the Bach (?) symphony with the words “No… no no.. no no no no no no! You can’t…you won’t…change my diaper now…” makes me run from where ever I am in the apartment to turn it off.

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Why do they call them bylaws?

This morning I dreamt that I had an apartment in Chilliwack as well as Vancouver and I used a biplane to get back and forth.

Two crows attacked a jogger in London, drawing blood.
In the Solomon Islands a hermit who had lived in a cave for forty years decided to return to his village after his fire went out.
A study showed that the world military budget was about $1,035,000,000,000 in 2004; the United States accounted for nearly half of that.[Washington Post]
Body parts, including a leg and part of a spine, fell from a plane approaching JFK International Airport in New York City. The parts came from a stowaway who had hidden himself in the plane’s wheel well.
Body parts, including a leg and part of a spine, fell from a plane approaching JFK International Airport in New York City. The parts came from a stowaway who had hidden himself in the plane’s wheel well.
Researchers found that one in five women would consider having their breasts removed if it reduced their odds of contracting cancer,[Reuters] that babies are soothed by suckling the nipples of men,[Times Online] and that 99 percent of women are against comb-overs.
In Augsburg, Germany, zoo officials were being criticized for a planned attraction that will show elephants and rhinos in their “natural environment” by surrounding them with black men in grass skirts.[The Scotsman]
Two women were upset when they visited a Houston mausoleum and found that the cremated remains of their mother had been replaced by a can of sour-cream-and-onion potato chips.
Plastic surgery on women’s genitalia was becoming more popular; surgeons reported that they were keeping busy plumping outer labias, tightening vaginas, and restoring hymens.
Scientists studying the Devils Hole pupfish, of which only 180 remain, accidentally killed eighty of them.[Live Science]
British pranksters kidnapped a Dalek from Wookey Hole Caves.[BBC News]
Disney digitally reduced the size of Lindsay Lohan’s breasts to make a film called Herbie: Fully Loaded less offensive.

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Drawing and staying out of the sun.

My weekend was spent mostly working. I’m under tight deadlines for a couple of art projects and I’ve spent 6 of the past 7 days at the drawing board. Today I finally got the last of the two full page drawings for Freeport Trilogy Revised (3.5) in, so now it’s back on to the monsters for Iron Crown’s CYRADON rpg.

I did manage to get some exercise on Saturday in the form of a bike ride. Marlo and I rode to the place near commercial which sells a million and one ice cream flavours including garlic, ginger, pear blue cheese gorgonzola and wasabi. They had both tiger stripe AND licorice flavours, but I went with the ginger since I’ve never had it before. I could spend an afternoon there just sampling all the different flavours. They’ve got little tiny sampling spoons and I think they’re filling a lot of landfill with those l’il bastards. Also I had my first trip to Uprising Breads which was fantastic, and cheap.

This coming weekend I’m planning on going to Chilliwack to visit Chris & Angie, and also to practice with the band. It’s always frustrating to try to plan things with the band because, besides the challenge of trying to line up 6 people’s schedules (people who live in 3 difference cities), it’s rare for emails and phone calls to be returned. I hate using the phone, and three of the band members don’t have or don’t use email, if you can imagine such a thing. So I text messaged Merrick on his phone to arrange a practice this weekend and let me know what day. That will dictate when Marlo and I go out to the wack. Mario – one of our guitarists and the guy with the jam space in his house behind an RV lot – says Saturdays are out for practice because his other band practices that day, but that doesn’t mean we won’t be in Chilliwack on Saturday. We could still practice Friday night, or Sunday some time, or Monday afternoon, I’m hoping.

This morning I had a dream that I was at work with no pants or underwear…yes indeed I did. The warehouse was outside – that is to say there were no walls or ceiling, and it started to rain. Taylor knew that we had pyjamas in stock so I grabbed a package and put the pyjama bottoms on, but my naked legs were wet from the rain and I had a hard time getting them on.

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Spotted Dick

On Friday I went with Marlo and Stewie to Kidsbooks in Kits for the midnight sale of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. The secret of the half blood prince is that the other half is rum raisin ice cream, not blood. Anyway there were tons of kids there and hippies banging drums and twits on stilts, but also free Happy Planet juice and stick-on tattoos. It was interesting. After that we went to the Naam and I had my first truly satisfying meal there in a while.

On Saturday I went to Kate’s birthday party (which I actually didn’t know was a birthday party – I thought it was just a summer BBQ) and was entertained by stories from various people I had never seen before and old friends who I haven’t seen for a while. Marlo and I learned that there is a karaoke place near her house, and that the horse track is a fun date idea, which I always imagined but never thought I’d find anyone to go with me. Too bad my schedule is all drawing this week or I could see those rapscallions (Ranger, Demers, et al) a couple more times this week.

Speaking (or, writing) of schedules, I didn’t go into work again this week. This is the third week in a row, and I’m worried that one day I’ll go back in and they’ll say “hey, you don’t work here” and then I’ll have to go find a better job.

I have been buying pineapples left and right, which is good, because fresh pineapples make me very happy, but they ferment quickly in my garbage in my hot hot apartment. I’m eating pineapples like goddamn corn on the cob, and it’s awesome.

Marlo and I went to some garage sales on Sunday morning and at the first three I didn’t find anything, but Marlo found a $2 copy of Chinatown (the movie). Marlo usually barely tolerates my garage saling expeditions but this time she was particularly impatient. I stopped to pick blackberries and she kept on walking until she was a block ahead of me. I was so mad at her that I bought her presents at this amazing garage sale that I found just moments after we parted. I long to disclose the glory of it all but it will have to wait because I don’t want to spoil the surprise. Remind me later.

In the meantime, I’d like to say how much I enjoy the cartoon Home Movies. It’s on weeknights at 1am (two episodes in a row) on Teletoon. It took me a bit of warming up to the series (I saw the Hallowe’en episode 3 times by chance before I decided it was good) but now I love it. It’s true that I only really guffaw a few times during the show. It’s not like the old 5th season Simpsons or anything, but then – what is? There really isn’t anything else entertaining on TV these days. My schedule at drawing is this:

noon: People’s Court
1pm: Star Trek original
2pm: People’s Court or ST:TNG
3pm: ST Voyager
4pm: Judge Judy

People’s Court is by far the best reality show on TV. Judge Millian is a fantastic judge. Judge Judy is my second favourite but even for a judge, she’s really judgmental. I mean I appreciate she’s been doing it for something like 50 years but a lot of the time she doesn’t give everyone their fair chance to speak and give their evidence. I can’t watch Judge Joe Brown or Divorce Court – those two are so trashy. They just let the parties bark at each other and it’s like watching Jerry Springer. Quack.

I got distracted from my Home Movies spiel: it’s good. Stewie says I need to watch Dr Katz, from the same creative team. Does anyone remember Science Court? Same deal. It was on Saturday mornings for a very short time and there were only a handful of episodes, but it was fun-tastic.

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Hope for the future

On Wednesday I borrowed Stephane’s car and drove to Chilliwack. On the way, I stopped at the Yellow Barn and bought some Chilliwack corn. I bought 6 cobs because they were six for whatever instead of whatever each, and Marlo is mad at me because I didn’t buy more, and apparently she told me to bring her back some, but I don’t remember that. When I brought Stephane his car back, I gave half of my corn to him and Sheri as a gesture of my thanks for the use of the vehicle. That left me with three cobs. Well Marlo, they’re all yours but you’re going to have to seduce them out of me first. Corn is after all the ultimate aphrodisiac. Isn’t it?

I also bought a pineapple but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

I drove to Chris’ house and I looked at his latest painting and then we played video games for about an hour. Then I drove to Mario’s. Warren gave me directions but Mario didn’t return my phone calls so I didn’t actually have an address, so I was driving up and down Industrial Way trying to figure out which RV lot was the correct one.

I enjoy driving but it is stressful. I had three cars in my lifetime – a Chevy Nova, a Reliant K car, and an Austen Mini. The Nova I sold for $50 scrap. The K car I left on the highway in flames, and the Mini was never actually mine. My dad had this habit of letting you use something with no stipulations and then springing a “now you owe me this much money” which is the sort of thing I see on Judge Judy and The People’s Court all the time. Anyway, instead of buying the car I gave it back to him and the rest of my life has since been car-free. Being carless was like a tremendous burden being lifted from my shoulders. Suddenly I didn’t have to pay for insurance, maintenance, gas, parking (not that that was a big deal in Chilliwack), and I didn’t have to worry about getting in an accident or getting a speeding ticket or having the engine burst into flames on the highway (see K Car) because I don’t know how to take care of a vehicle. I am not in the least bit mechanically inclined. Give me the magic crayons that allow me to draw a car and the car becomes reality. So, when I drive Stephane’s car a bunch of that come back, specifically: speeding tickets; accidents; mechanical failure. But, happily, every time I have driven it there has been no problem.

Band practice was the reason I was going to Mario’s. Merrick told me there would be a PA there, but there was not, so I didn’t actually do any singing. However, we didn’t actually do any “practicing” because we didn’t practice any of our songs – it was strictly a writing session to make up some new ones. I have this tape of melodies that I add to whenever I think up something, and I made a tape of about dozen or so good ones to give to each band member. The first thing we did when I got there was listen to the tape, and Jordan suggested we start working on one immediately. Mario liked one, Warren liked two different ones. We worked on one of each. There were also three songs that they had been working on themselves, although one of them I have my doubts about. So that leaves four proto-songs that are on their way to becoming new Thickets tunes. I’m going to try to go into the wack again on Saturday the 30th for a weekend with the Woods and another jam session.

Also, Bob cancelled at the last minute AGAIN. We need a new bass player. Anyone know of one?

Also, Garett is buying the band touring van which will get us about 1800 to spend on new costumes and merchandise. Are you excited yet? I want to think up a new t-shirt design. Why is it I often have awesome shirt ideas, but when it comes time to make a shirt, I don’t remember any of them? Maybe I should come up with some sort of pencil-meets-paper contingency.

And we’ve booked a Hallowe’en Show at UBC.

After the jam sesh (that’s short for session, in the same way that mench is short for mention and OMG is short for OMGORRHOEA) Chris and Warren and Jordan and I went to the Husky House and I had a moderately passable chicken burger. Husky has been less hit and more miss these past few visits. Although I did get a lot of fries, which is both good and bad. And I asked for vinegar and the waitress never brought it! So I sat and quietly judged her, and wanted to rip off her “Marlo” name tag and give it to someone more deserving. Airport Cafe is clearly superior in every pie way.

After that I went back to Chris’ and we played video games some more until I had to leave at about 10:37. I got back to Sherane’s at exactly midnight, which is what I told Sheri, so I totally fucking WIN!

Also, Angie gave me a big bag of video tapes complete with black plastic cases, so I doubly won. DOUBLY. And that was my trip to Chilliwack!

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It's like Fahrenheit 1984

What if I wrote a chilling cautionary tale about a twisted world in which you are forced to work in a factory that processes your favourite food until you were sick of it? BWOOO-HAHAHAHA! I think that would speak to everyone.

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I finished KOTOR.

After I finished my drawing last night at around midnight, I rode my bike to Marlo’s. “Won’t she be asleep by now?” Stewie asked. “Yes, but Knights of the Old Republic never sleeps,” was my answer. That was but one of four reasons I went. The other three, in no particular order: to snuggle with Marlo; to get some exercise on my bike; to take more books to the used book store for credit. This morning when I stopped by the store, there was a younger guy working there, instead of Ron, the owner. I had been mulling over what it would be like to work in a book store again. Kestrel seems like a nice place to work: cat, nice neighborhood, and I could probably work very part-time, which is good for an illustrator. Right now I just finished an art job, and I’ve got 5 more. Very very busy time for me.

Tomorrow I’m going in to Chilliwack to visit Sid and practice with the band. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a practice. I hope we can work on some new songs, a new album is way overdue.